Love Them Anyway

Now what did Jesus say
Above all to do
Love right
We have to do
It with all of our might
No matter how hard
A person comes against us
We have to trust Jesus
The most painful situation
Can be turned into
A beautiful creation
God says that
All things work together
For the good
Romans 8:28
Once we have finished baking
A cake we can no longer
See the ingredients
That it took to make it
We have to put on our armor
Of righteousness
Suit up
We must put on love daily
Make it a priority to
Trust God
Obey God
And Rest in that
For it is how
We react towards others
That shows our hearts
As Christians
So even through
All the heartache
We must love
Them anyway
Everything will be okay

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The Love Dare

Anthony,
I decided to step back not because I don’t care about you because I do (very much so) I didn’t want to add to the confusion in your life it’s not what you need or deserve. From what you have shared with me it sounds like it’s very chaotic in your life after all this time I will touch back on that part later. There were so many times that I wanted to reach out to you, but I opted not to. Any decision that you choose should be yours alone, and no one should influence that I don’t care who the person is. What is meant to happen will find its way, and nothing or no one can stop what will be.

I am not going to preach, but I know that God is real He changed me whether you ever get to the point that you believe in Him that is entirely up to you. You have said “that all you wanted was to be able to talk to me.” it just wasn’t the right time. I admit it I was wounded, I was angry, and I was in my feelings God had to work on me it wasn’t a good time. I always felt like I had to fight for you, and I always felt like I wasn’t good enough; we both know the reasons why. Recently, I have asked you to please come to me if you have any questions about me don’t listen to anyone because messengers have motives. When someone tells you something, especially when it’s negative wonder what their motivation is because most times it’s not positive.

Anthony, when we got together, we were so very young. Once we got married, we had no guidance no one ministered to us about anything, which is why I want to counsel couples about marriage. Couples should know what real love is, so they will know how to love each other. I genuinely believe that any marriage can last; it’s what God intended; that’s why He hates divorce. All people have to do is put their egos aside and love their spouses enough. Everyone has days when they are unlovable, and that’s when the test comes in. If we can’t be real with our loved one, there is a problem; it’s imperative to allow them to be able to express their feelings. People have to understand that once a person chooses to marry them, they can’t stop learning about them because we change every day we can’t stop trying to keep their heart just because we feel that we have won it.

I want you to know that every couple has communication problems, not just us when we were a couple. Communication breakdowns will happen because people have different personalities; thus, differences will occur. People have to care about fixing the problem. Every marriage gets bland, has struggles, people get selfish, but people should never forget about the special spark that was the reason why they got married. After all, let’s be honest; no two people get married because they hate each other. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It’s not something that is of convenience, marriage is hard, but it’s beautiful too. When people get married, it’s for better or worse, and well we all know the rest of the vows the truth is people only focus on the good parts which is the reason why they can’t handle the hard parts once they occur.

Regardless of the situation good or bad, the Bible says that all things work together for the good. Something good will come from out of all of this, and we all will see it, respect it, accept it, and hopefully grow from it. I will not talk about the past because there is nothing that we can do about that accept grow from it. I will not attack you because I have forgiven you. I won’t fight over you or start drama because God already knows what He is going to do. Also, I know the woman that I am there is no need for all of that. All I can do is trust God. I will say this a real woman who is doing what she should do should never allow her man to ever feel uncomfortable not at our ages. I’m not saying these things because of our history but because I have gained wisdom. If a woman is laying a foundation with her man, she lets everyone know what’s up no matter who they are. She makes everyone respect him because she understands that what a man desires the most is to be respected. She knows that a man goes through enough in the world and shouldn’t have to deal with it at home too. You know why I am saying what I am saying it doesn’t matter how much a person has done for you if they care and it’s from the heart why should it matter? Unless strings are attached to what a person does, perhaps? You are not a lazy man, and you pull your weight. I pray that what I have written frees you to do what you need to do. We are grown-ups there is no room for foolish games life is entirely too short for that. I am expressing myself, and I don’t think that I am putting myself out there; I am not begging you for anything. I am putting this out here on my blog for the whole world to see. Remember, love isn’t a fight; it’s worth fighting for if it’s right. Love is also an action word. Love isn’t a guilt trip or forced; it’s given freely, it’s not a headache, and it flows without problems.

Waiting to Be Forgiven

Learning the art of forgiveness can sometimes be a hard lesson to take. Everyone talks about the hurt that has happened to them and how they have trouble forgiving the person who has wronged them. Sadly we are living in a world where people are always the victim, and they never accept accountability for anything. Still, does anyone ever think about how would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it’s you who is waiting to be forgiven? Is it ever too late to say that you are sorry? Whether it was unintentional or intentional, everyone has hurt someone before. Nobody is above offending someone.

Yes. It’s always best to forgive after all forgiveness is for our peace of mind. It’s mentally exhausting stressing about something that we have no control over. Life is not like a DVD; there are no alternate endings things are what they are. So there is no need to regurgitate a situation continuously.

I read a post about forgiveness that was interesting; it almost sounded like a guilt trip. It said something about not blocking blessings by holding grudges aka unforgiveness in one’s heart. When we are the ones waiting for forgiveness, we can’t speed up the process no matter how much it may hurt. Like a cut or bruise, it takes time to heal.

I also thought about a television show that featured a situation that required forgiveness. A boyfriend caught his girlfriend kissing a close friend of theirs. The boyfriend felt destroyed; he loved his girlfriend so much. The girlfriend apologized, and the boyfriend accepted it; however, he asked her for space. For weeks the girlfriend did everything that she could to make situations happen so that she could cross her boyfriend’s path. Finally, the girlfriend built up the courage to talk to her boyfriend. She told him that it had been weeks and that she wanted to speak. The boyfriend called her out on her actions, immediately expressing that he told her that he needed some space and that she only wanted to talk so that she could feel better about herself. He further went on to say that he knew that it was hard for her, but it wasn’t his problem.

When we try to force a person to forgive us on our terms, it can make the person that we offended question if our apology was even authentic. We have to remember that everyone is different and heal at different rates. It’s essential to respect a person’s space if they ask for it.

Forgiveness is a two-way street. If we ever hurt someone, we should make an apology quickly, own it, and make things right. When we own what we have done, it should not be shared. Making a person share the blame for what we have done is never cool. Sometimes we can hurt a person so severely that it may burn a bridge and we have to move on. As we get older, it should be about doing adult things like producing a healthy environment with the people that we care about. It’s childish and selfish to care only about ourselves. It’s vital if we can to not do things that can jeopardize relationships with the people we care about. I would rather spend my time enjoying the relationships that I have with people instead of waiting to be forgiven.

The Art of Forgiveness

The moment a person hurts me
I forgive
The moment a person uses me
I forgive
The moment a person judges me
I forgive
The moment a person breaks my heart
I forgive
The moment a person disappoint me
I forgive
The moment the person betrays me
I forgive
The moment that a person makes me
Feel anything else besides positive
I forgive
If a person does these things to me
I develop an understanding
Rather what was done to me was done
Purposely or not
I choose to forgive
The moment that I forgive my peace
Begins and my pain ends
Forgiveness is a process
Don’t know if it can ever be perfected
It’s hard to forget
About a messed up situation
Especially when most of the time
The biggest test of forgiveness
Is forgiving a person who caused pain
That came from a person whom
Was trusted the most
Betrayal rarely comes from a stranger
Forgiveness isn’t holding on to grudges
It’s letting go of them
Besides the person doesn’t know or care
About the trouble that they caused
We all need a lesson
It’s a two way street
We all at one point has hurt someone
Purposely or unintentionally
All we can do is ask for forgiveness
You can’t push it
If we do
That means we are only thinking of ourselves
We want to be free of guilt
When we do wrong we must deal with
It and respect a person’s space
Closure may mean losing a person without a trace
Just be thankful for God’s grace
Many times that has to be enough

Set Free

When you have prayed about a situation whatever it maybe remember that you have given it to God and you are now set free. Caring about what others think is like living in prison it’s bondage. None of us have lived perfect lives we all have things that we are not proud of. I’m not saying to not care about the wrong that has been done I’m saying don’t be a slave to it. We live and we learn. It’s important to let go of people who won’t allow us to let go of pass mistakes no one can grow that way. The last people who should be making us feel as we are unworthy of God’s mercy and grace are fellow Christians. Yes we must face what we have done and no we don’t get a pass to do whatever we want the key is understanding this. Bondage is not a good thing. So break every chain!!!

No Matter What

James 1:19

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

When we are angry we must be careful about what is said. Words can only be forgiven and not forgotten. One thing I have seen a lot of are mothers telling the fathers that a child isn’t theirs never plant a seed it will always grow especially one of doubt. And the children doesn’t deserve to be placed in the middle. Anger is one emotion that can cause a person to do some serious damage that is most times irreversible. Don’t say hurtful things no matter what.

Walk away nothing is worth unnecessary damage to any relationship. One may win an argument but lose the one that they care about. Even the most solid relationship or marriage can not withstand too much wear and tear. It’s important to one let go let God and two have self control it takes two tango. Taking the high road is a great thing. I’m not saying for a person to walk all over you still we must be selective when it comes to our words.

It a relationship and marriage it’s suppose to be a team. There is no I in team however there is in single. When we are blessed to have our king or queen the last thing that we should do is hurt them intentionally with our words.

A Second Chance

God is a God of second chances still when is it okay for us to offer it. When should we be open to giving something or someone a second chance.  There are so many scenarios and it’s best to look at both sides of the coin.  First and foremost  pray to God  for me many situations in my past would have went smoother had I done this. As everyone can tell I’m an optimist and a realist as well it’s like driving you have to be an offensive and defensive driver. Another thing about me is that I can be incredibly stubborn it takes a lot for me to give up on anyone or anything however when I do I’m done.

We have to evaluate what’s worth giving something another try and what isn’t. It takes removing the blinders and being completely honest about a situation. For instance like being in a relationship or marriage and our mate hurts us. Now let’s be clear anytime we take a chance in love there’s a chance of getting hurt maybe not intentionally it still happens. I guess it’s about looking at what took place and  filtering whether it was a choice or a mistake. Like with cheating it is a choice always still what made the person cheat its a selfish act absolutely I believe in scratching beneath the surface always. Did the person who cheated feel ignored?  Were they deprived of intimacy? Is the person who cheated selfish? Whatever answer that you come up with is how you move forward.

Forgiveness is something that we must do it’s not just for the person who hurt us but for us as well. When we forgive it sets us free from bitterness. We should not confuse forgiveness with trusting a person again. To forgive is to not hold a grudge and trusting leaves room for the opportunity of a second chance. Just because we forgive a person it doesn’t mean that we allow ourselves to be hurt again.