love

September Sun

It’s no secret how much that I love Type O Negative. The 90s rocked and Type O Negative made it happen. I was debating which song I wanted to share it was a tie between Love You to Death and September Sun. Well it’s September so it’s obvious which song won. Check out the lyrics:

September Sun
Type O Negative
The album’s second single, which was cut down from over nine minutes to under five for radio.
September sun, glowing golden hair
Now keep in mind, son: she was never there
October’s rust bisecting black storm clouds
Only the deaf hear my silent shouts

Yet in the dark, still he screams your name (Elizabeth!)
Nights living death with witch rhymes insane
Ten years amassed, para toda mi vida?
Lost man in time; was his name Peter?

September sun, rotted Flatbush porch
I would have run then, had I known the cost
Autumnal rays turned your eyes to stone
Did it give you pleasure to steal my soul?

Yet in the dark, still he screams your name (Elizabeth!)
Nights living death with witch rhymes insane
Ten years amassed, para toda mi vida?
Lost man in time; was his name Peter?

Leave her alone
I said leave her alone

Me? I know why

A New Start

I absolutely love being a Christian. I was having a conversation today and it was pertaining to a person’s past. First of all we alllllllll have parts of our lives that we would not like to read out loud. But guess what? We don’t have to this it is a new day, week, month, year. God has forgiven us and we have to forgive ourselves. I know it’s not always easy to do. For me there are good days and there are bad days. But everyday that passes I am glad that Christ are in them.

I feel that with all the things that I have been through and overcame there isn’t a person in this world that Christ can not save.

2 Corinthians 5:17King James 

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

We should never beat ourselves up about anything and we should never allow anyone else to do it either. Once Christ forgives us for our past what others think is irrelevant unless we have done harm to that person. Still to judge a person based on past events isn’t right. We are our biggest critics we can do a good job of making ourselves feel guilty enough. Don’t need people on the outside doing it as well. My modo is if there’s people who continue to bring up the past then they should be left there.

Unity

With every course that I take, there is something that sticks out to me that gets me to thinking. Multicultural alliance is so important. Different people have a way of thinking and doing things differently. Cross-cultural communication is so important it helps people to become intuitive and sensitive to others, which helps with interacting. Communication helps with understanding others. It’s also should be understood that individualistic and collectivistic cultures differ too primarily in a negative sense. I can’t stand when a person wants to lump a whole group of people together based on a bad experience with one person, which is why I say some about certain people and not all.

I watched an interview that Phil Anselmo did; he is the former lead singer of Pantera. Some people call him a racist because of comments that he made in the past. He spoke of how he was an angry insolent child. He has gotten older and has matured. I know of racist people, and they later changed. I’m not saying that he ever was. I do know that skinheads and the KKK seek children who are angry and hurt to direct those emotions towards people of different races. Remember the movie American History X?

I saw a post that was so hateful it spoke about how the black people of today could never measure up to the black people of the 60s. I agree to a certain extent. The black people of today are strangers to the importance of unity. Not unity within the black community only but across racial lines. Some of the black people of today are tearing down the hard work that was done in the 60s.

There were some things that I did not agree with when Obama was in the office, but I did admire how his cabinet was multicultural. He understood the importance of people from every culture. People from all walks of life can offer some sound advice because sometimes the most valuable lesson is the kind that isn’t taken. I refuse to let that happen. I don’t want to miss a thing.

I have a post about sisterhood, and I consider my few friends as sisters. My friends are of different races. I am black, and I don’t have anything against some black women just the ones who makes everything a competition it’s not that serious. We as people, can sometimes be our enemies, and it is for no reason. For example, if more black women choose to date outside of their race, that’s great. What difference does it make if or when people come around? As long as they are doing better. Do you want to see one another succeed? Or is it about getting into a person’s business to use them as a case study? There was a time when we all thought differently about so many things. So why not extend the courtesy of understanding to others? We know more now then we did ten years ago and so on. Come on. And why does everything have to be about who idea was first George Washington Carver made peanut butter but do you think people think about that when they are eating Skippy or Jif. The first computer was established in 1946 but do you think the people on an apple computer thinks of that. Self-centeredness and self-absorbed people grind my gears!!!

My whole point is nothing positive comes from hate or division even if some don’t want to admit it. Unity stays in my vision.

Compromising for Love

Hey Everyone! How’s it going? I officially have two courses left and I will have my bachelor’s degree. Yippie!

Now that I have gotten that out of the way. The other day I watched a video that was cool and it made me think. The person in the video spoke of how when it came to interracial dating one of his biggest turn offs is people picking a partner based on their skin color.

I left a comment on the video, here’s what I wrote:
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When it comes to seeking a person to be in a committed relationship our interests are important. I love all music however heavy metal is my favorite. I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan!! Having common interests helps us to connect with others. Our interests makes us who we are. Should we compromise who we are for love? So I had a response on my post that said:
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To me the right partner for me will genuinely accept me for who I am without trying to change me into someone that they want me to be. Otherwise the person should be with a completely different person and not me. I have shared my thoughts on interracial dating. Love has no color.

I made a promise to myself a few years ago that I wouldn’t compromise who I am anymore. I refuse to be someone that I’m not. When we are who we are the right people will connect with us. Everything in my life at this point that I do is important to me right down to my coffee. I’m not sure how true it is but eharmony looks for true compatibility in order to help people find the perfect match. They ask people to be completely honest. We become deprived when we aren’t being ourselves 100 percent. Life is just too short for that. My biggest fear is living to be 80 or 90 years old with a life that filled with more regret than satisfaction or happiness because of my choices. Many times our choices can make huge impact on our lives it’s too much to gamble.

Eyes Wide Open

I’ve been so meaning to write about this for over a week now. I am not into celebrity news, but I have written about Ciara a couple of times. Ciara changed her choice of men and found her king. Yes. He is a king because he serves God almighty.

In the past, Ciara dated rappers Future and Slim Thug. Recently Slim Thug accused Ciara of marrying the Seahawk’s quarterback Russell Wilson for financial stability. Which goes right back to my post from yesterday about how some black men waste good years on things that don’t matter. Slim Thug further went on to call Russell Wilson “corny.” To guys like Slim Thug being a Christian, a one woman’s man and responsible is corny. This proves what I have been saying all along about the shortage of quality black men.

Slim Thug also said that women who date bad boys couldn’t date good guys. How much sense does that make? Remember the saying about kissing toads until finding a prince, making wrong turns before making the right one or experience is the best teacher. We are not our past; some people refuse to allow people to be happy. Another thing what are bad boys about? So because they don’t want to change the women who date them doesn’t deserve better? Is he saying that bad guys aren’t about anything or that they can’t change? Many questions can come from what Slim Thug is saying, and they aren’t good ones. Words are like a boomerang when you throw them at others; they come back.

As we get older we realize what’s important and what’s not. Sadly some people never get it and they never mature. I love Ciara response to all of her haters and butt hurt exes:
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Being cool isn’t having children all over the place that are not receiving hands-on parenting, sleeping around, or hanging out in the streets wasting time.

Some people don’t want to change for the better and get jealous of the people who do. These same people will attempt to instill fear into others or destroy their happiness. They have wasted so much time until they don’t have a enough to make up for what’s lost. Life is too short to be in struggle love or poverty. There is more to life, and it isn’t just heartbreak or paying for poor choices. When we learn from our mistakes, our growth is our reward, and we reap a harvest that is plentiful. The people who don’t want to learn this life lesson are just plain pitiful.
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Racist Boyfriend?

Yesterday was a crazy day for me. On Facebook, I’m in a couple of swirl groups. I swear the people who allow people into the groups should make sure that they are screened more thoroughly. I think that some are black men hiding behind a fake profile picture.

There was a question asked in the group. The question was, can a white man date a black woman and be racist? Here we go going through the same thing. Here we go again!

It’s always someone who is trying to scare black women from being open-minded about who she wants to date. The question opened up a sea of emotions. This person caused hysteria with this one question it opened up all kinds of what ifs. Some of the women started to speak of some white men possibly having fetishes but that doesn’t bother me here’s why:
fet·ish
ˈfediSH/Submit
noun
1.
A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
“Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots.”

Most black men love black women’s butts!!!! Trust me on this; I’m just saying.

The question made some of the white men in the group feel uncomfortable, and I didn’t blame them. It had some people questioning white men’s motives for dating black women — just a bunch of foolishness. We should be allowed to date who we choose without people trying to destroy it, and it was a black woman doing it.

Some black men have wasted years that should have been spent on developing a career or getting a degree and instead have accumulated baggage like children with different women, out of wedlock, of course. The 77% out of wedlock birth rate proves this. Let’s not get me started on the IBM they aren’t marrying anyone, but they are open to multiple women trying out for a position that they aren’t thinking about. The fact is there is a shortage of quality black men, and the solution is to date out.

We can’t live in fear of what could happen. Are there racist white men that a black woman could come across? Sure. Just like a black woman could come across a black man who’s abusive, disrespectful, and a cheater. The chances of a racist white guy dating a black woman are slim to none. That’s facts.

Look every time we take a chance at love there is a possibility that a bad thing could happen and good things can happen too. Still, good things can’t happen if we aren’t open to the opportunity! The right man for us may not look like what we expect. Expectations and assumptions only help us to miss out because they are always wrong. I refuse to live in fear. If there is a black woman, who fears dating white men because of the chance that they may be racist, there is an excellent solution for that don’t swirl. It’s just that simple.

Love Wins in the End

Happy Sunday to Everyone! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!

My day started wonderful as I have just found out about another amazing interracial couple. The couple’s names were Frederick Albert and Elinor Powell.

Long before the Lovings there was Frederick and Elinor who fell in love during World War 2! Frederick was a white man and Elinor was a black woman.

Their story is incredibly amazing and inspiring! The heart wants what the heart wants.

Love always wins in the end!

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
menghapus-dosa

It’s a Trend?

There are a few swirl groups that I belong to and I am glad that I am in them every day I am seeing more black women and white men getting together. I just seen a white man and a black woman get married, the wedding was so beautiful. It’s incredibly awesome seeing love win. Today in one of the groups a person asked when you see a swirl couple in public honestly how does that make you feel? I answered of course by saying that it makes me happy to see black women opening themselves up to other possible avenues to happiness. What we think is meant to happen may not happen like we expect. But we can never receive the happiness that we deserve by placing limits on who can make us happy.

I have already shared my background at a young age I told my mother that I was attracted to white men, she didn’t take it well at first. The same way children go through puberty and decides which sex they are attracted to, I discovered that I was attracted to white men. It’s just that simple. So, no I wasn’t hurt white men is what I have always preferred. Sorry that you can’t minimize my attraction to being bitter or hurt. Nice try though.
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In the 90s there wasn’t any swirl groups or anyone I knew that could give me advice on dating interracially. Still I understand that it took for us to go through the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s to get here today and I am extremely grateful.

If there is one thing that can grind my gears is a person downplaying or reducing a situation to nothing. When a person does that it’s a sign that they don’t want to face the reality of the truth. Recently, I read a comment on a video pertaining to interracial dating the commenter called black women and white men dating a trend. Dude are you serious right now?
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The commenter was a black man, now don’t get your feathers ruffled I am in no way saying that all black men have a problem with interracial dating. So chill out okay.
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I want black women to do whatever it is that makes them happy but let’s prove people wrong. Show the black men who thinks that white men and black women getting together is a trend that it isn’t a trend. The way to do this is to be totally attracted to white men to begin with. Black women should not date white men for stupid reasons like trying something new or if they have been hurt. I once knew a white guy who told me that a black woman only wanted to date him because she wanted a mixed child. Some people fail to realize that one life touches another if possible change a person’s life for the better not for the worse.

There are a lot of black women who are educated, speaks intellectually, attractive, have morals, can cook, and career driven etc. Every day I see black women breaking stereotypes about the so-called norms pertaining to us. It’s a great time to be alive. It’s a great time for white men and black women to be in love.

Waiting to Be Forgiven

Learning the art of forgiveness can sometimes be a hard lesson to take. Everyone talks about the hurt that has happened to them and how they have trouble forgiving the person who has wronged them. Sadly we are living in a world where people are always the victim, and they never accept accountability for anything. Still, does anyone ever think about how would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it’s you who is waiting to be forgiven? Is it ever too late to say that you are sorry? Whether it was unintentional or intentional, everyone has hurt someone before. Nobody is above offending someone.

Yes. It’s always best to forgive after all forgiveness is for our peace of mind. It’s mentally exhausting stressing about something that we have no control over. Life is not like a DVD; there are no alternate endings things are what they are. So there is no need to regurgitate a situation continuously.

I read a post about forgiveness that was interesting; it almost sounded like a guilt trip. It said something about not blocking blessings by holding grudges aka unforgiveness in one’s heart. When we are the ones waiting for forgiveness, we can’t speed up the process no matter how much it may hurt. Like a cut or bruise, it takes time to heal.

I also thought about a television show that featured a situation that required forgiveness. A boyfriend caught his girlfriend kissing a close friend of theirs. The boyfriend felt destroyed; he loved his girlfriend so much. The girlfriend apologized, and the boyfriend accepted it; however, he asked her for space. For weeks the girlfriend did everything that she could to make situations happen so that she could cross her boyfriend’s path. Finally, the girlfriend built up the courage to talk to her boyfriend. She told him that it had been weeks and that she wanted to speak. The boyfriend called her out on her actions, immediately expressing that he told her that he needed some space and that she only wanted to talk so that she could feel better about herself. He further went on to say that he knew that it was hard for her, but it wasn’t his problem.

When we try to force a person to forgive us on our terms, it can make the person that we offended question if our apology was even authentic. We have to remember that everyone is different and heal at different rates. It’s essential to respect a person’s space if they ask for it.

Forgiveness is a two-way street. If we ever hurt someone, we should make an apology quickly, own it, and make things right. When we own what we have done, it should not be shared. Making a person share the blame for what we have done is never cool. Sometimes we can hurt a person so severely that it may burn a bridge and we have to move on. As we get older, it should be about doing adult things like producing a healthy environment with the people that we care about. It’s childish and selfish to care only about ourselves. It’s vital if we can to not do things that can jeopardize relationships with the people we care about. I would rather spend my time enjoying the relationships that I have with people instead of waiting to be forgiven.