Compromising for Love

Hey Everyone! How’s it going? I officially have two courses left and I will have my bachelor’s degree. Yippie!

Now that I have gotten that out of the way. The other day I watched a video that was cool and it made me think. The person in the video spoke of how when it came to interracial dating one of his biggest turn offs is people picking a partner based on their skin color.

I left a comment on the video, here’s what I wrote:
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When it comes to seeking a person to be in a committed relationship our interests are important. I love all music however heavy metal is my favorite. I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan!! Having common interests helps us to connect with others. Our interests makes us who we are. Should we compromise who we are for love? So I had a response on my post that said:
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To me the right partner for me will genuinely accept me for who I am without trying to change me into someone that they want me to be. Otherwise the person should be with a completely different person and not me. I have shared my thoughts on interracial dating. When I come across a black man who share my interests they are into white women. And that’s okay. Is there something wrong with being attracted to a certain kind of person?

I made a promise to myself a few years ago that I wouldn’t compromise who I am anymore. I refuse to be someone that I’m not. When we are who we are the right people will connect with us. Everything in my life at this point that I do is important to me right down to my coffee. I’m not sure how true it is but eharmony looks for true compatibility in order to help people find the perfect match. They ask people to be completely honest. We become deprived when we aren’t being ourselves 100 percent. Life is just too short for that. My biggest fear is living to be 80 or 90 years old with a life that filled with more regret than satisfaction or happiness because of my choices. Many times our choices can make huge impact on our lives it’s too much to gamble.

I have said this before compromise should happen once we have found the right one not when we are searching for them. We can’t be with the right one if we are with the wrong one.

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Spare Tire

Society can try to dress up
Infidelity all it wants
Side chicks are not
The go to women
Like a spare tire
They are the least desired
A man pulls her out for a ride
When the original tire is
Out of commission
Due to being damaged
By the hands of the man
But as soon as the original
Is patched up
The spare tire immediately
Goes back into the trunk
Into the darkness
Where no one can see it
Because it’s an eyesore
Ladies don’t be a spare tire
You are worth so much more
Than being a backup plan
For a man
Who has trouble with commitment
Don’t be a secret
Go with an available man
The one whom you are
Destined to be with
Who will love you the most
One who will proclaim
His love for you
From coast to coast
Don’t do something
That you wouldn’t want
Done to you
Don’t be the go to
You are only being a fool

He Showed Me

As I have shared I am a Christian woman who is going through a divorce. Divorce is not good it affects everyone that’s involved in one way or another especially the children. Divorce is hard because when you get married the goal is for it to last forever. I’m very old fashioned so I was kicking myself the whole time about my divorce up until recently. In the beginning I did what I could to get pass the idea of divorce. Besides me feeling like the marriage was a failure what’s more important than my feelings?? God’s of course God hates divorce. Even though in the law it’s written that for certain reasons God allows divorce the way He feels about divorce is quite the opposite.

The other day I watched a video about divorce that was confirmation so now I am set free about my failed marriage. While I was devastated about things before I have since let go and let God. Believe it or not good things have come out of my failed marriage. I have grown so much and I really want to help other people prior to marriage and during too. Marriage is nothing like a relationship it’s important for people to understand the seriousness of it. Marriage is far more than a piece of paper if you get involved with a person that thinks that way then you need to find out why.

I have a lot of advice while everyone is different there are still many things that are the same when it comes to marriage. Number one always treat your spouse with respect, never disrespect them in front of others, and never speak against them to others even your parents. Number two communicate no one is born a mind reader so if something is bothering you say it. Number three once you are married forget the single minded mentality you are one money and alllll. When it comes to money always let your spouse know about all spending and lending. I know people have crisis but let your spouse know when you are helping someone. Number four always be loving to your King and Queen I know that life gets busy but always make time for your spouse this is the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Number five above everything keep God first. God gives structure to our lives I don’t care what anybody says or thinks if God was in my marriage things would have been better.

I am praying for everyone who are about to get married, who are married and those who maybe experiencing problems. My prayer is that everyone turns to God for help. There is no problem that He can not solve. I don’t ever want anyone to feel as I do being thankful for a video for confirmation. If I had God as the foundation of the marriage things would have been different. I’m fine with being able to share my story as a way to help others. I pray that my post will help somebody. God bless everyone.

Two In A Trillion

According to the FBI

They estimate that the odds

Of a coincidental DNA match

Are 1 in 108 trillion

We are two in a trillion

A perfect match

It can not be explained away

God has taken two shattered hearts

That were torn apart

He shaped and healed them

They are now glue together

I’m your chocolate

You are my vanilla

Together you and I

There’s no need to question why

Something that’s so brilliant

Is absolutely God sent

God has proven it

We have a blessing from Heaven

We have so much fun

Forget magical that’s reducing

What we have to practical

God is in this for sure

His powers are powerful

There’s so much more in store

You are a good person

I am a good person

And God is good

He does good things

Turning broken things

Into beautiful things

 

 

A Noose Around A Brother’s Neck

Yes child support is for children of every race this is understood. I am writing this pertaining to a video.So there’s a guy whose video that I came across on YouTube claiming that child support is a noose around a black man’s neck. The guy who made the video claimed that it was a way to keep a black man down. Let me start off by saying two things one is that the guy is biased against women and two as long as I watch YouTube I will not run out of things to write about. Feeling the way that I felt I still watched the video in it’s entirety and it interested me so much that I had to blog about. Just couldn’t pass up this topic it is a hot one. 

There are so many stories that I have pertaining to mothers, fathers and child support. The situation has plenty of blame to go around. It’s ashame that the government has to get involved to make a parent do right. Yes there are some women who pay child support however it’s mostly men. It makes me upset when people starts to point fingers just do what you are suppose to do as a parent. When you get involved with a person think are they a person that you can see yourself marrying or having children with them? If the answer is no then don’t risk the chance of being tied to that person with a lifetime commitment.  Are there some spiteful money hungry women who use the money on other things besides their children? Yes but you saw the signs there are always signs you just choose to ignore the red flags. Am I saying that a person deserves to be stressed out forever with drama? No but don’t take a chance and gamble. When a person shows you who they are believe them.

Indeed there is a time to be private and there’s a time to help with your story. Imagine if no one shared their testimonies and stories it’s important to encourage as many people as we can. It may help someone out and that’s an awesome thing. As I have shared I am a single parent of two sons and I am doing as best as I can WITHOUT child support. My children’s father was in prison for basically ten years and I did NOT put him on child support. Even while a person is in prison they can be placed on child support I choose to opt out of that choice. My ex has been out since November and has Not seen his children after ten years. Does it make me upset how he treats our children? Yes of course however I place things into God’s hands He will handle things. I’m Not spiteful here’s why I have Not sought child support the agent would throw him back into jail and that doesn’t do either one of us any good. I’m giving him time to get on his feet and an opportunity to do what he can however I have a time limit trust me.

Let’s look at things like this why would a person try to hurt another? Perhaps there are still feelings there I do Not have feelings for my ex it’s about our children. Our children have been through enough and do Not deserve any additional heartache. If you love your children make it about your children Not about your ex. The children did not ask to come here. Some of you mothers quit trying to hurt the father by digging into his pockets in the hopes that no woman will want him because we all know that it won’t happen. Fathers child support is not worth more than time spent with your children. Call your children more often, visit them, and yes you can date as well as move on however take your children with you. Our ex is our past but our children are a lifetime commitment honor it  and don’t ever forget that. Put your grownup pants on and co-parent properly.

Brand New Relationship

I like to compare

A brand new relationship

To a brand new car

When a car is new

You wash and wax it

Very careful how you drive it

You don’t want to eat in it

Don’t want nobody parking near it

All because you don’t want

Anything to ruin the newness

As time goes by you

Become comfortable

To eat in it

And you don’t wash or wax it as much

Slack up doing the things

That you use to

Don’t take it in to check

To see if it needs repair

Unless you see or hear

A sign of trouble

Otherwise you only

Take it in once a year

For an inspection

Everything is wonderful

In the beginning when

The car was brand new

It was given lots of attention

Well a relationship/ marriage

Can be looked at the same way

Everything was great

In the beginning when

Things were new

That’s all good but what

Happens when scratches

Bumps and dents happen

Do you trade it in

To get a new one

No that’s not what you do

Have the mindset

That if you take care of it

It will take care of you

A Trade in

Could never become a classic

Have the 30 day tags

Turn into classic

I don’t know about you

But I want something that’s true

That holds value

Any relationship can make it

When it’s all brand new

What happens when trouble

Comes along

Do you stay or run along

Remember it’s not

About the easy stuff

It’s about the hard

So what will you do

Will you make the necessary

Repair to your relationship

When it needs it

Or treat it like an old car

And trade it in

I’m just sayin

 

 

 

 

Carry It Gangsta

Goodfellas, Griselda Blanco and Al Capone

When a relationship is over

You’ve got to carry it gangsta

At some point in most of our lives

We will have a break up

Gone are the days

When marriages lasted a lifetime

I’m not saying don’t work

Things out if you can please do

However staying in a relationship

When you are unhappy

Makes no sense

When you have done all that you could

It’s best to let things go

Will it hurt

Of course

But why hold on

Most times when relationships

Comes to an end

There were signs that it was going to

Like more arguments

Less time spent together etc.

So don’t be scorn

Don’t be bitter

Especially if you once loved the person

Where did the hate come from

Anger only hurts the

One that’s angry

Healed people heals others

Just because something comes to an end

It doesn’t have to be

On a sour note

There are many things that ends

Books but you don’t stop reading them

Movies but you don’t stop watching them

It’s all about how you look at it

One doors closes

And another one opens

So when a relationship is over

Don’t hate or mope

The way to cope is to

Carry it gangsta