Black community

The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.

Check Out the Lyrics

As we all know music is powerful. The other day a person that I follow on YouTube made some interesting points about the song No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. People of my generation grew up listening to that song. In my opinion the song can be looked at from two different ways obviously. The song no pain no gain was a popular song. Anyway the person on YouTube felt that the song had an negative effect on women. Basically the song encourages women to take bull crap from men. I have to admit that she has a point.

I have decided to share lyrics from songs on my blog to check the meaning. Here are the lyrics to No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. Are the lyrics uplifting or do they keep women in bad relationships? Isn’t love about give and take? When is enough a enough in a relationship? There will be ups and downs in every relationship. Hmmmm.

“No Pain, No Gain”

Ooh…ooh…ooh…

My baby and are back together again
Lovin’ is better than it’s ever been
If it weren’t for the trials we’ve been through
I’d never have the courage to come back to you

We’re all entitled to make a mistake
We got to prepare for some heartbreak
I as earnin’ my man, while I was learnin’ my man
Something you young girls might not understand

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

There was an old lady sittin’ under a tree
She called me over and she said to me
“My days left here may not be long
I wouldn’t waste my time tellin’ you nothin’ wrong

But love is a flower that needs the sun and the rain
A little bit of pleasure’s worth a whole lot of pain
If you learn this secret, how to forgive
A longer and better life you’ll live’

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), mmm
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Anything worth havin’ at all
Is worth workin’ for and waitin’ for
Some of my closest friends
Have thought they had their thing on a string
Just ’cause that man was bringin’ ’em flowers and candy and all kinds of gifts
Mmm, mmm, honey
Some gifts are just to make him feel better while he’s on his guilt trip
About the night before
You know what I mean
Especially when you know you haven’t been doin’ the things you should do
Think about it
What is the man tryin’ to tell you
Sometimes flowers mean “Maybe we should just be friends’
Do you get my drift
Hang if you can hang
No pain, no gain

In order to get something
You got to give something
In order to be something
You got to go through something

Be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the streets
You can’t show your teeth to every guy you meet
It’s alright to be a little sweet
But be a mama with the kids and you know what in the sheets

No pain (No pain)
No pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See, you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old evil devil trying to keep us apart
Say devil you ain’t getting nothin’ here
I’m holding on to my man and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), oh
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old devil tryin’ keep us apart
Say devil, you ain’t got nothin’ here
I’m holdin’ to my man, and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Oh, no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no pain (No pain, no pain), no-no-no-no-no-no-no pain (No gain)
No-no pain, no-no pain (No pain), no-no pain (No pain), no pain (No gain), no pain

No pain (No pain, no pain, no gain)
In order to get something (No pain), give something (No pain)
To be something (No gain) you got to go through something
(No pain, no pain, no gain)

Oh…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no (No pain)
No-no-no-no (No pain, no gain)

No…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
You’re really not to gain anything (No pain, no pain)
Without (No gain) goin’ through some pain

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No-no (No gain)

(No pain, no pain, no gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No pain (No gain), no gain, no pain, no gain

Get something (No pain, no pain)
You got to go through something (No gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Hear me when I say no pain, no gain (No pain), no pain, no gain (No pain)
No pain, no gain (No gain)

The “IBM”

So I was watching a very interesting video on YouTube it was about black men who don’t like it when black women swirl. Everyone knows where  I stand on this subject I believe that people should be able to explore their options in peace. It’s about numbers there are not enough black men for every black woman. I don’t know about the other black women but I am not waiting around or going on a scavenger hunt looking for an “IBM”. In case no one knows what IBM means it short for ideal black man. So what is an ideal black man he’s a leader, faithful, honest, loyal….I guess one can throw in his employment, doesn’t have a lot of children, is a great father to the children he does have, educated etc. What made the video interesting is that a black man suggested polygamy as a way to solve the number’s problem and noooooooooo. I don’t know any woman who values herself that would be willing to share a black man…..or any man period.

I don’t hate black men nor do I put them down. I do have a problem with the black men who put black women down. I do believe that black love exists however it’s not for me. I am into various things most of the things black men aren’t if so they are into white women plain and simple. Let’s be real honest for a second most black people have come from broken homes I came from one. I understand that for most people are unstable because they came from dysfunction okay when does it stop? I recognized my issues a long time ago and  I fixed them. Let me give an example when you hear a noise coming from your car don’t you go get it fixed? Okay if a person is broken they need to allow God to fixed them so they don’t go and damage someone else. Anyone who have emotional issues should not get involved with anyone their only pulling someone into their life storm. I’m pulling someone into my peace because life is too short to live any other way.

I guess the reason why  I wrote about this is because I can’t understand why interracial dating is such a huge problem. Growing up I had “One” crush on a black guy I have always been attracted to white men. Anyone who knows me personally know this and  I have dated white men too. Recently I decided that  I am going to do what makes me happy. If I am blessed to see 85 years old  I wanted to have a full life of happiness. The way to be happy is doing things as long as they are within God’s will that make us happy. The only person who we are suppose to live our lives for is God no one else. I pray that people find the one who makes them happy regardless of the person’s color.

Black History Month

I am so thankful for black history month. Every year  I share black history facts and always end up finding out new things. There is so much that we wasn’t taught in school.

Does anyone know anything about what happened on March 2, 1955? Nine months before Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man someone else did her name was Claudette Colvin. I know right in school we were always taught about Rosa Parks. When  I think about all the history that wasn’t taught in school it really gets me to thinking.

Claudette Colvin was a 15 year old high school student who refused to give her bus seat up to a white person. There was quite a few black women who refused to give up their seat but they were fined instead of jailed. On March 2, 1955 a bus driver ordered Colvin to get out of her seat she refused and was arrested by two police officers.

Most people including myself don’t know the role that Colvin played in the bus boycotts. Colvin was one of four women who challenged the law. Colvin case overturned the bus segregation laws in Montgomery and Alabama.

Colvin was asked why was her story not talked about she felt it was because her community shunned her after her arrest and once she became pregnant. Colvin felt that the civil rights leader felt that she was an inappropriate symbol for the test case. Colvin spoke of the colorism within the black race how Rosa Parks had “the look” her skin texture and good hair was the kind that people associated with middle class. Rosa Parks was a married woman and Colvin was a pregnant teen. Colvin felt that Rosa Parks was used because civil rights leaders felt that she would be a better icon.

When I found out about Claudette Colvin story I wasn’t sure who I should be more upset with. Yes there was segregation but what about the way that Colvin was treated by her own people? What about the things she endured because she was a pregnant teen? Who’s responsible for the colorism that took place? Who is responsible for not allowing Colvin story to make it in to the history books?

I so enjoy black history month and  I do not have anything against Martin Luther King Jr or Rosa Parks  I just think we need to be taught about history in it’s entirety. There was a lot of women and teens who were making a stand in the segregation situations not just middle aged men in suits.

colvin200-48ca886d51d65f2111116d8cb84cdf89925538d3-s700-c85

Being A Great Dad

Growing up in a broken home

Taught me that parenting

Should not be done alone

Indeed we have our heavenly Father

He also gives us rules to follow

That we all should honor

A mother is to nurture her children

Instill compassion in her children

Teach them brilliant cooking skills

A mother plants amazing feelings

Into her children so that they take root

A father gives his children advice

Teaches his children how to ride a bike

Teaches his children how to drive

How a man treats a lady

He leads by example

He’s his children protector whether

Or not he and the mother are together

A mother’s and a father’s love for

Their children should always be equal

Too many are trying to minimize

A father’s unique contributions

As if it means nothing at all

These kinds of attitudes are part

Of the black community’s problem

I know men who are good fathers

Who have had the worse life experiences

I’m talking horrendous

Yet they don’t use them as crutches

Are there petty mothers

Who for no good reasons stops

The children’s fathers from having

A relationship with their kids

Yes and those situations I don’t accept

But let’s be honest those kinds of

Situations are rare

How about the fathers who makes

The choice to neglect

Having a relationship with their children

Those kind of fathers

Don’t deserve any respect

Once  a person becomes a parent

A mission must be made to make sure

That their children have

The absolute best

A parent’s love should always be felt

Even when they aren’t present

Children should never ever feel

As if they never received enough love

There’s nothing that hurts worse

Then to feel rejected by

Your very own parent

Why should a child have to learn

How to become immune to hurt

It’s the same old tune

We are living in a society

With people who are self absorbed

Classic narcissistic behavior

Some of these fathers who aren’t good

Align themselves with

A bunch of yes men

Ones who agree with everything

Whether they are right or wrong

Bobble heads who are afraid

To stand up or challenge

Newsflash they are not true friends

Sick of some of these dead beat

Fathers crying about children support

When you didn’t do right on your own

So mothers had to turn

To the government for assistance

It’s your fault that you fathers

Have to pay it

Some of your fathers words

Ain’t worth nothing

Never consistent

No wonder why you have bad credit

Constantly trying to make

A mother feel bad for asking for help

Dude we didn’t make these

Children by ourselves

If you can’t be a good father

Do us all a favor

And get yourself fixed

So over these good for nothing fathers

Who’s always coming up with excuses

Like a student sitting in

The principal’s office

Offering a reason for skipping

How about this don’t just be a father

Be a dad

That’s called being a man

A sign of great parenting

Is not having children

Who becomes estranged from you

The moment they reach 18

All behind past things that happened

In which they are still hurting

Having a blessed relationship

With our children until we are old

Should be every parent’s

Ultimate goal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I Asking For Too Much?

The purpose of my blog is to discuss things that no one wants to talk about. What I am doing is not very popular but  I am fine with that. In my opinion everyone has some knowledge that’s useful in one way or another. Even a fool is right sometimes just like a broken clock has the right time twice a day. All it takes is for us to empty out the noise that in our minds that at times helps to cloud our perspective of things.

I consider myself to be a pretty open-minded. I will give anyone a chance still there are situations that cannot be ignored, like dead beat fathers. I always speak up for the good fathers because they are some. Let me give a description of what I feel is a good father:

He’s there for his children

He understand that money isn’t more important than his time

He’s love for his children is not limited

Regardless of what is going on with the mother of the children it doesn’t impact his relationship with his children

He understands balance and does it well

The word bashing isn’t a part of his vocabulary because he is responsible

He doesn’t hold pity parties

We all strive to be more and a parent should never cut their children short of anything especially love. None of us wants to be the reason for creating a damaged child because they grow up into messed up adults. I am really tired of dead fathers getting upset because people speak on the things that they aren’t doing. It’s time to stop making excuses for the choices that you made being a parent is a two way street.  Dead beat fathers stop contributing to the dysfunction in the black community if you didn’t have a father then be the dad that you never had.

1ea4ef4889504cbe23d641d78b39ba6d_zpsd030682d

 

 

We Are Beautiful

Recently everywhere I turn

I see men of different races

Including my very own

Making it seem like

Black women are the least desirable

Men like Chris Rock and

Steve Harvey speaking about

The kinds of men who love us

I can’t take it anymore

Our black is beautiful

Every day many of us struggle

With situations that

We should not have to endure alone

We are mothers

Who are also filling in as

The role of father

This situation has gotten old

The worse part is when we

Are made to feel like

We are somehow responsible

For receiving the hurt

That we don’t deserve

It’s so absurd

One of the stupidest things

That  I have ever heard

There’s a 72% percentage

Of absentee fathers

Look at the numbers

These men choose

To not be bothered

It doesn’t take a math whiz

Or a rocket scientist

Last time  I checked

It takes a man and a woman

To make a baby

Is there any other ways

I’ll wait

Lord knows that  I am a Christian

I always turn the other cheek constantly

Most black women are forgiving

About the situations that helps

Many of us to feel incomplete

Dealing with things like certain men

Who are filled with deceit that cheat

Lacking the understanding as to

Why some men would rather mistreat

Good women in a heartbeat

As if it would kill them to

Commit faithfully

In spite of black women circumstances

Defeat is not a part of our vocabulary

We always push ourselves hard

Like a star athlete

There’s a lot more to us

Than what people think

I’m telling  you right now

On us don’t sleep

We are constantly striving and evolving

Every word that  I speak

Is concrete

I can produce receipts

Say what  you want about me

Turn up the heat

I will not surrender or retreat

Can’t continue to listen

To all of the bull

Like how some of the wounds

Of black women

Are self-inflicted

I just don’t understand it

I do know that black women

Are over being taken for granted

As well as being blamed for this

Got me like

Alanis Morrissette

Isn’t it ironic

Don’t you think

Some black men

Speak of wanting black women

To hold them down

When they have nothing

Yet when some of them get on

Their feet

They treat their women and

Very own children

Like pot holes in a street

Then have the nerve

To question why we are angry

Really?

Please

Spare me

After awhile all of this becomes

So annoying

Some of you have no concept

Of loyalty

As long as black women

Are going along with the program

Everything is hunky-dory

However once we wake up

And stand up things are

A different story

Oh and don’t get me

Talking about the subject of dating

Black men was the first to

Put cream in their coffee

This is after slavery

At least that’s what mother

Used to tell me

May her beautiful soul

Rest in peace

If black women

Date outside of their race

Immediately we are accused

Of self-hate

In addition making it seem

As if men of other races

See us as mere fetishes

Like we are nothing

More than sex objects

I’m so sick of the disrespect

When will you guys open your eyes

And realize that

When our community is hurting

No one benefits

And no wins

Because we all suffer in the end

Things comes back in a full spin

I won’t stop talking about this

It’s a promise

Like Mc Hammer

I’m too legit to quit

Refusing to conform

To what seems to be the norm

Because it’s awful

Black women we deserve love

Beyond measure

We are a treasure

Keep in mind that love has no color

This mindset opens up our options more

Always remember this number

One thing and that is our value

Is not found in negative

People’s words

Black women are powerful

Even when we stand alone

We are so strong

Black women we are beautiful

Happy Birthday MLK

Happy Birthday to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Today is more than just a day off from work. I want to thank Dr. King for helping to make civil rights possible. I appreciate everything that  you have done and  I will never take it for granted. You fought to make your dream come true. Thank you for getting us to love one another in spite of our color.Yes we still have a longs to go because of people with their heart issues regardless I just want to thank you. I won’t complain instead  I will do my part to help enforce change in a positive way.

John 13:34 – A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

Culture Awareness

Recently I finished a course in Intercultural Competence and it taught me a lot of new things when it comes to interacting with different cultures. In order to become aware of other cultures it helps to become aware of your own. I have learned that once we understand others cultures; we can then appreciate them, establish a relationship and build an alliance. To build a strong community it takes a large number of people to make it work. Each culture is unique and has perspectives and strengths that any community can benefit from. Having an understanding of every culture can help us to overcome as well as avoid ethnic and racial divisions. A community can win when people don’t struggle with the vision of what a fair, moral and harmonious society is. There are many cultures and of course many of us would like to know about them all a good way to start is finding out about who lives in our community, the kind of diversity that already exists, the struggles that exist between the cultures, the struggles that are openly recognized and the kinds of issues that the different cultures have in common.

When it comes to having a community that is united there certain steps that should be taken and there are things that should not be done as well. Let’s use the African-American culture as an example there has been a lot of bad things that have taken place. There is still a lot of hurt that has turned into anger which is present in America to this very day. Even though I am an African-American one thing is true making people feel guilty for what their ancestors have done hundreds of years ago will not help diversity to become effective. People tend to change when they don’t feel condemned or guilt tripped. One day I saw a post from a Facebook friend she actually apologized for what her ancestors had done hundreds of years ago and I commented telling her that it was unnecessary. It may come as a shock to many but I get called names a lot like sellout and even accused of not being true to my culture. I have gotten slammed on several occasions all because of my views. My Christian beliefs help to keep me hopeful no matter how a situation looks like. In my opinion when it comes to bring cultures together everyone must be included, a solution of what can be done to solve the issues with hope of getting it done together is a huge step into the right direction. Having a strong community can only happen by  people working together from every culture this will help to build a strong relationship that has a core.

As I have written in the beginning getting to know one’s own culture and other cultures builds bridges that can connect people in addition recognizing the differences is important too. Many times people don’t want to recognize cultures differences out of fear that it may cause division however it’s actually on the contrary. Learning about other cultures can actually bring people closer together. When people are aware of other cultures they learn how to interact without negativity happening. A mind closed mind is not open to knowledge and so ignorance grows. It’s important that we all keep in mind that regardless of our cultures being different we all have feelings,we are human beings and we are all God’s Children.

Galatians 3:26

For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

I’m Not Surprised

Recently a former pastor has been making the news by the name of Kevin Wesley. Kevin Wesley is a black man who says that he cannot lie to black people anymore about Christianity. One thing that disturbs me about nonbelievers is why can’t they not believe in Christ allllll by themselves why must they make it their mission to poison other people with their toxic views? Nonbelievers always complain about Christian people “cramming” our beliefs down their throats but aren’t they doing the same thing that they complain about? Most Christians spread the Word of God out of love we have no intentions of hurting anyone. The things that most Christians  do is done out of love.

The former pastor Kevin Wesley has me very skeptical about his intentions there are far from pure. Wesley made a point to say that he cannot lie to black people anymore which is trying to cause some division within the body of Christ. I understand why some black people have a problem with Christianity the Bible describes Christ as one way but we have seen pictures of something different. Let’s think Christ was around long before slavery did white people years ago abuse the Bible? Yes they did. Still we must take our eyes off of man and focus on God. Even the slaves had faith in Christ some of our best hymns came from them. There are many taking positions in the church and they weren’t called to do it in the first place 1 Timothy 1:11-12. Yeah  I said it! We can’t have weak people leading the church with their bad intentions. If  you wasn’t call sit down and stop causing people to fall. I refuse to allow a person who wasn’t called by God send me to hell. We must stay awake!!! No sleeping. Times are getting far too dangerous.

Everyday God shows us His work from the time when we wake up until the time we go to sleep. He demonstrates how faith is the thing that we need the most to survive think about it the one thing we need the most to live is the one thing that we cannot see and it’s all around us…air. In life there will be ups and downs just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean we won’t have to endure hardship. We can’t have a rainbow without the rain or a baby without labor pains. I don’t hate nonbelievers I pray for them because whatever is hurting them is cause them to hurt others.

Here’s my take Christians should cut off anyone who doesn’t respect our beliefs and pray for them. Our Christian beliefs is what keeps us strong in a very cruel world. I am not surprised at all about people falling away from the church Christ warned us of this.

Matthew 24:10-13

10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.