I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better, and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women, but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.

I’m getting so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married, and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you; Casper the friendly ghost!!!

Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions; we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone, even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ; He’s the one who brought my two children and me through every hardship.

Both black men and black women need to get it right; please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not; the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired, and no, I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out, and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!