marriage

Eyes Wide Open

I’ve been so meaning to write about this for over a week now. I am not into celebrity news, but I have written about Ciara a couple of times. Ciara changed her choice of men and found her king. Yes. He is a king because he serves God almighty.

In the past, Ciara dated rappers Future and Slim Thug. Recently Slim Thug accused Ciara of marrying the Seahawk’s quarterback Russell Wilson for financial stability. Which goes right back to my post from yesterday about how some black men waste good years on things that don’t matter. Slim Thug further went on to call Russell Wilson “corny.” To guys like Slim Thug being a Christian, a one woman’s man and responsible is corny. This proves what I have been saying all along about the shortage of quality black men.

Slim Thug also said that women who date bad boys couldn’t date good guys. How much sense does that make? Remember the saying about kissing toads until finding a prince, making wrong turns before making the right one or experience is the best teacher. We are not our past; some people refuse to allow people to be happy. Another thing what are bad boys about? So because they don’t want to change the women who date them doesn’t deserve better? Is he saying that bad guys aren’t about anything or that they can’t change? Many questions can come from what Slim Thug is saying, and they aren’t good ones. Words are like a boomerang when you throw them at others; they come back.

As we get older we realize what’s important and what’s not. Sadly some people never get it and they never mature. I love Ciara response to all of her haters and butt hurt exes:
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Being cool isn’t having children all over the place that are not receiving hands-on parenting, sleeping around, or hanging out in the streets wasting time.

Some people don’t want to change for the better and get jealous of the people who do. These same people will attempt to instill fear into others or destroy their happiness. They have wasted so much time until they don’t have a enough to make up for what’s lost. Life is too short to be in struggle love or poverty. There is more to life, and it isn’t just heartbreak or paying for poor choices. When we learn from our mistakes, our growth is our reward, and we reap a harvest that is plentiful. The people who don’t want to learn this life lesson are just plain pitiful.
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Love Wins in the End

Happy Sunday to Everyone! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!

My day started wonderful as I have just found out about another amazing interracial couple. The couple’s names were Frederick Albert and Elinor Powell.

Long before the Lovings there was Frederick and Elinor who fell in love during World War 2! Frederick was a white man and Elinor was a black woman.

Their story is incredibly amazing and inspiring! The heart wants what the heart wants.

Love always wins in the end!

Waiting to Be Forgiven

Learning the art of forgiveness can sometimes be a hard lesson to take. Everyone talks about the hurt that has happened to them and how they have trouble forgiving the person who has wronged them. Sadly we are living in a world where people are always the victim, and they never accept accountability for anything. Still, does anyone ever think about how would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it’s you who is waiting to be forgiven? Is it ever too late to say that you are sorry? Whether it was unintentional or intentional, everyone has hurt someone before. Nobody is above offending someone.

Yes. It’s always best to forgive after all forgiveness is for our peace of mind. It’s mentally exhausting stressing about something that we have no control over. Life is not like a DVD; there are no alternate endings things are what they are. So there is no need to regurgitate a situation continuously.

I read a post about forgiveness that was interesting; it almost sounded like a guilt trip. It said something about not blocking blessings by holding grudges aka unforgiveness in one’s heart. When we are the ones waiting for forgiveness, we can’t speed up the process no matter how much it may hurt. Like a cut or bruise, it takes time to heal.

I also thought about a television show that featured a situation that required forgiveness. A boyfriend caught his girlfriend kissing a close friend of theirs. The boyfriend felt destroyed; he loved his girlfriend so much. The girlfriend apologized, and the boyfriend accepted it; however, he asked her for space. For weeks the girlfriend did everything that she could to make situations happen so that she could cross her boyfriend’s path. Finally, the girlfriend built up the courage to talk to her boyfriend. She told him that it had been weeks and that she wanted to speak. The boyfriend called her out on her actions, immediately expressing that he told her that he needed some space and that she only wanted to talk so that she could feel better about herself. He further went on to say that he knew that it was hard for her, but it wasn’t his problem.

When we try to force a person to forgive us on our terms, it can make the person that we offended question if our apology was even authentic. We have to remember that everyone is different and heal at different rates. It’s essential to respect a person’s space if they ask for it.

Forgiveness is a two-way street. If we ever hurt someone, we should make an apology quickly, own it, and make things right. When we own what we have done, it should not be shared. Making a person share the blame for what we have done is never cool. Sometimes we can hurt a person so severely that it may burn a bridge and we have to move on. As we get older, it should be about doing adult things like producing a healthy environment with the people that we care about. It’s childish and selfish to care only about ourselves. It’s vital if we can to not do things that can jeopardize relationships with the people we care about. I would rather spend my time enjoying the relationships that I have with people instead of waiting to be forgiven.

The Haunted Mansion

I find the men who have trouble with commitment quite comical. No one and I do mean no one is going to stop me from being happy for people who are getting married or have gotten married especially for Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex and Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton and Baron Kilkeel. I was so stoked for Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding yesterday, ooh and that gospel choir though!!!

These kinds of men will tug (attempt to anyway) at a woman’s self-esteem until they are able to bring them down to their level/standards. Newsflash if a man is one of substance he would not try to bring a woman down. Mind you if they are able to bring a woman down it is not for a commitment it’s only to use and abuse her while bashing the woman after she has given in and done what he wanted. A woman isn’t good enough for commitment but she’s good enough to have sex with.

Women must be careful of these kinds of men real men don’t do these kinds of things. These kinds of men possess soul ties so many souls that are tied to them that they no longer possess a temple but more like a haunted mansion. They have trouble with commitment however unbeknownst to them soul ties are for life and they need to get their lives right. We all need to pray for discernment so that we don’t connect with the wrong people.

As long as we are living we all deserve to smile so there is no time to entertain people whose main objective is to prey on you. We are better than that.

Stand Alone

A marriage can be looked at like the game of chess
Chess may be a game but the strategy aka master plan
Is of something bigger
There is a lot that we all can learn
Like the chess board
It’s right in black and white
There are many people on board
That has the king’s back
They are all ready to battle
Still a king must realize
How important his queen is
There are 8 pawns
There are two rooks
There are two knights
There are two bishops
Yet one queen
The queen is the king’s protector
After everyone has fallen
After it’s all said and done
It’s the king and queen who stand alone

Marriage is Beautiful

Lately, I have seen negativity about marriage. I happen to come across the show Adam ruins everything which featured an episode about marriage. Adam said that love isn’t eternal and further went on to say that people shouldn’t feel bad about a marriage failing being that love is a temporary feeling. I changed the channel immediately because Adam is Not ruining anything for me; I refuse to allow that mess to get into my spirit. Besides it has been shown that Adam and his stats were wrong about some cases, he owned up to it. We are living in a time where things are requiring less effort to get things done. It’s so easy for people to walk away from something instead of finishing what they have started. It doesn’t surprise me when people jump ship; it surprises me when people stick and stay.

Currently, I am taking a class about gender studies, and it talks about the war between the two sexes. My first assignment is about my thoughts on gender roles, which is tricky. I am a Christian, so I trust God’s Word completely. In class, we covered what we felt men and women should do. Here’s the thing why is it felt that women are not looked at as an equal just because she doesn’t do the same role as a man? I mean who said that it certainly wasn’t God. God loves us all equally just because we are called to do different roles doesn’t make anyone more superior over the other.

Society needs to understand that there is nothing wrong with a wife allowing her husband to lead, I mean why not? The black community is filled with broken homes. How can a person who comes from a broken home have a healthy relationship unless God helps? Many black women who come from broken homes want to lead the household because it’s what they are used to seeing. A wife being submissive to her husband doesn’t make her a slave. Some women use men abusing their power as a scapegoat; these women are just stubborn.

Furthermore, if a woman has trouble submitting to her man then don’t marry him but ask yourself this how come it’s easy to respect a supervisor on the job than the man you suppose to love? Why is it essential for some women to feel the need always to have to be in control? Is it because they are afraid of being vulnerable?

It also doesn’t help marriage reputation with women who bash marriage and try to attempt to reduce marriage to being just a piece of paper; it’s more than that. Truth be told I think some of these women downplay marriage because they know that them getting married is less likely. So they try to fool people by cutting things off at the chase by making it seem as if it’s their choice. The best way to fool a fool is to let them think that they are deceiving you. Ummmmm no sweetie it’s up to the man to give his last name to a woman that he feels is worthy of that. There is something about a man who steps up to the plate and making his one love his official love. There’s something about a man making his one love his Mrs. Who wants to be just another girlfriend landing in the girlfriend category? It’s like being the hottest song for a moment how about being the favorite song for all time? A favorite song never gets old. A man in his lifetime has had several girlfriends being a wife now that special. Think about it.

So, in conclusion, Adam and no one else is going to get me to stop seeing the beauty of marriage. Marriage works because our Heavenly Father created it. Father knows best!!! If we allow God to guide us, we can have the right husband or wife. The reason why there is so many divorced people have the wrong concept of marriage and therefore, don’t value it as they should. So don’t get married if you are not ready and don’t get married to a person who doesn’t feel the same way about marriage as you do. Otherwise, the marriage will not make it.

It’s Done

You and I are no longer
The indication
Of this grows stronger
Each day that passes by
There is no need for
Making any kind
Of insinuations
Pertaining to this situation
We are both guilty
Of the demise
Of our marriage
And it’s final destination
Yours was infidelity
Which I gave you
Multiple opportunities
Like the game of baseball
You always struck out
Mines was people pleasing
Doing whatever it took
To make my family happy
Even though it left
Our finances drowning
We both fooled ourselves
About what marriage
Was about
We got it wrong
We was young
We was dumb
This is without a doubt
God may not have
Ordained our marriage
However marriage doesn’t
Have to be ordained
For it to be valid
Marriage is a covenant
Made by God
He expects a
Full commitment
When two people
Enters into it
There will be ups and downs
That’s when a couple must fight
They can’t be weak
And throw in the towel
It’s only taking
The easy way out
Once two people come
Together under the law
Of marriage that
Is suppose to be it
I’m sorry that we wasn’t
Strong enough
I’m sorry that we couldn’t
Tough it out
Or understand
The importance of marriage
I’ll accept your apology
And I pray that someday
You will accept mine
There’s always room
For an apology
As long as it’s sincere
If a heart is open
There’s always room
For forgiveness
A testimony
Will come out of this
I am not sure
How or what it will be
Over time we will see

Spot On

This morning one of my Facebook friends said something that was absolutely brilliant. In the past I have made posts pertaining to this subject as well however reading his post I never realized how huge the situation was. There are some men who pretend to be Christians but they are not. A real Christian man will not try to lure a Christian woman into a trap. Nevertheless his post said something like this “I see lots of posts from various ” good men “claiming they are on a quest to find their queen. If you are a good man then out of thousands of Facebook friends you should have a least one good woman. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a game to manipulate more than one woman with selling chivalrous dreams.” My facebook friend’s post was spot on this morning this situation needs to be addressed more to raise awareness.

In order to have God as the glue in a marriage or relationship God has to be in both people. Christ must be trusted completely with every aspect of our lives including our love life. If we come across a person and feel that they are our love interest yet they are not a Christian then the relationship is not of God. If we continue to pursue something that isn’t of God then that’s acting out in the flesh and not in the spirit. We must trust God completely He has many wonderful things in store (including love) we just have to trust Him. If we trust Him then our faith should show all we have to do is believe.

People call it being judgmental but  I don’t feel that speaking on shacking up is wrong. If you are living with someone and you are not married as well as bring children into the world that is wrong. If a man has not married a woman but have children with her he’s still searching. People fail to realize it hurts the children deeply when their parents are not together. Regardless of a child’s age 3, 7, 11 or even 16 any number it still hurts them to not see their parents together. It’s especially hard for children when they feel as if they are pawns in between two parents who can’t co-parent in a civilized manner.

All these things starts with some men who claim to be a Christian but their actions don’t match. A man of God is suppose to be a leader who could never see himself hurting a woman of God who is trying her best on her walk with Christ. Don’t be a stumbling block be a positive step into the right direction in others lives. Remember one life touches another so light up someone else’s life. I don’t know about any other Woman of God but I refuse to play second class to a person who has a first class ticket to hell. I will not be a backup plan I’m not a computer. I have feelings. Men of God I’m not attacking you or putting men of the world down however you need to check yourself if men of the world’s morality beats yours. If you are a Man of God truly then walk the walk that you are called to do without cha cha dancing or electric sliding with the world.

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

The Pain of Divorce

I absolutely cannot stress this enough divorce is a humongous deal. In the past  I have opened up about my separation and possible divorce. Divorce is ugly period it’s never good because it affects so many people especially the children. What  I can’t stand about certain situations like divorce people want to be private so they suffer in silence. Recently I saw a heartbreaking post on Facebook about a woman who was going through a divorce. She would post about the pain of her divorce apparently it wasn’t received well amongst some of her Facebook friends. To make a long story short she had no one to turn to and so she took her life. I feel so sorry for her children this will make it even harder for them.

At times I get so sick of this horrible world with the heartless people in it. I know that there’s a God and  I know that He’s sitting on His throne. God will correct the wrongs and heal the hurting hearts. I know that none of us are God but if you come across a hurting person be kind always. The best thing that we all can do once we have done everything that we can is pray.

Father God In Heaven,

My prayer to You is to please guide people to marry the right people. Once You bring two people together have it so that they understand the vows that You made. Have it rooted in the married couples that at times better could become worse, that sickness may come, that they can have it all one day and lose it all the next. Father God help them to stay strong in You. Have a married couple understand that tough times don’t last but tough people do. Father God on the days when one of them become unlovable have their love for You to be more stronger so that it will keep their marriage together. Have a married couple to take their eyes off of the world and fixed on You. This wicked world at times has no concept of the beauty of marriage Father God only You can keep a marriage strong. I pray also for the couples who are separated may their marriage be restored and that they come back together stronger than ever. Father God I know that You hate divorce. I pray that You remove the word divorce as a go to as a way to solve a marriage problem. Have every marriage experience many years of happiness and their children too. Most of all thank You Father God for all that You do and what You are about to do. In Jesus Precious Name

Amen

Black Love Day

Everyone already knows where I stand on the subject of black love. In my opinion love has no color, love is a feeling that joins two people together. Love is loving a person even when they are being unlovable and there will be days like that. If a person’s love has limitations then it isn’t love but perhaps the other four letter word which is lust. Many people confuse love and lust. If a person isn’t involved with you for the long haul then don’t entertain them at all. Don’t waste your time because life is too short for that.

Anyway back on topic Black Love Day was founded by Ayo Handy Kendi director of the African American Holiday Association in 1993. I never knew about Black Love Day until today one of my Facebook friends posted about it, she’s very knowledgeable. I’m very thankful for her posts I have learned so much from her.

Everyone has so many goals and that’s great what about a person to spend your life with. God created Eve for Adam He intended for us all to love. Today people don’t stick and stay because they don’t do things God’s way! I truly pray that everyone finds the person who God has for them. God doesn’t want us to be alone that’s why He made marriage and marriage is suppose to be until death.

When it comes to love there will be good days and bad days. The goods days helps a couple to weather the storm of the bad. The bad days gets a couple to draw strength so they can enjoy more good days. Love doesn’t fade. Love is patient and kind. Love is understanding. When a person truly loves a person one does whatever it takes to hold things together. When a couple truly love one another many test will come but they have to do the work to pass them. When a couple is truly in love outsiders will be jealous and will try to bring drama. A couple have to have trust and work as a team to keep negative things out. When two people love one another it’s forever regardless of their skin color. Can  I get a Woot Woot?!