relationships

Your Best You

What works for us may not work for someone else however we need to make sure that we don’t hold ourselves back.

Yesterday I saw so many things that had me thinking about how some people aren’t ready to give themselves the best. We have to stay away from people who deprive themselves and want starve us of our dreams as well.

Most of my life I have had a battle with my weight. Recently I started the Keto Diet and I have been making excellent progress. I’ve lost tons of weight several times in my life so I know the struggle. Anyway I put a picture on Facebook of myself and seconds later I saw a post in my Newsfeed pertaining to Christians who are vain. I hardly ever upload pictures but this lady is overweight. She may attempt to call me vain but she may have a problem with jealousy.

It is said that a picture speaks a thousand words well I beg to differ. My picture is of a woman who has had a battle with weight and a mother who had the battle as well. My mother died of cancer in 1997 and she was overweight. The doctors told me that if my mother had of been slimmer they could have helped her to live longer. The fact is our health is our wealth. We can’t do anything without having good health.

I remember when a lady on YouTube spoke of black women getting their health together and some women got upset but she was right!! In the black community black men tell black women to stay thick the problem is what people think is thick. Newflash thick isn’t obesity. Obesity is the leading cause of certain illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure.

We should be our best selves. When we are at our best the best harvest is received. Healthy people most times live longer.

I’ve come to realize that most times people aren’t ready to hear the truth even if it’s something that can help them too. Why wouldn’t we want to be the best us?

I remember watching old contestants from world biggest losers and they shared how their perfect weight wasn’t always the recommended weight. They were healthy at a weight that was best for them.

Over the years we have heard about being comfortable with ourselves and that’s a great mindset as long as we are healthy.

I have acid reflux and when I’m overweight I pay for it dearly. I would never put a person down about their weight. I’ve been slim and overweight so I understand the struggle. I only want to inspire and uplifted others. Our lives are not just our own. I have two sons depending on me and I want to be here for them.

Yes! I’m a Christian and we believe that our bodies are temporary however we still need to be healthy. We take care of our houses and cars. Why not our bodies as well?

I Am Free

I’m not for racism
You are cooning
I’m a Christian
You are stupid
That’s a white man’s religion
I want to work with every race
You are working with the enemy
I’m opening up my dating options
You are a bed wench
I enjoy the freedom of wearing wigs
You are wearing someone’s hair
Because you can’t grow your own
I have friends of every race
You are an Oreo
I have dreams of better things
You are still black
I am feminine
You are weak
I am educated
You are not that smart
I am valuable
You are worthless
I have standards
You are not all of that
I am leaving the hood
You are not going anywhere
I don’t like what’s going on
Within the black community
You are self-hating
I am living my best life
You are a sellout
I love my brown skin
You are too dark
I love my natural hair
You are nappy headed
I love heavy metal
You are trying to be something
That you are not
I’m happy with my size
You are fat
I enjoy living the single life
You are a thot
I enjoy being alone
You are a liar no one wants you
I love me some me
I love you too Boo
How could you?
All of these negative words
Came for you
If you love me
You sure do have a funny way
Of showing it
Well I am free
And I no longer
Care about you attempting
To degrade me
What you believe
Only elevates me
As I strive to be
The opposite
Of what you would
Like to see for me
Misery loves company
But you can’t
Stop me from being happy
You don’t control
My destiny

Love Wins in the End

Happy Sunday to Everyone! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!

My day started wonderful as I have just found out about another amazing interracial couple. The couple’s names were Frederick Albert and Elinor Powell.

Long before the Lovings there was Frederick and Elinor who fell in love during World War 2! Frederick was a white man and Elinor was a black woman.

Their story is incredibly amazing and inspiring! The heart wants what the heart wants.

Love always wins in the end!

Being Alone

As long as I am on Facebook, my chances of developing writer’s block are slim. Every day I see something that makes me feel like what in the world? Today I saw a post that said, “Women who say that they want to be alone are liars. If a woman doesn’t want the company of a man, something must be wrong because it’s human nature. That every woman wants to be touched if not but for 20 minutes and be wined as well as dined by someone special. Step out of the denial zone!” So hilarious! Like this person can speak for every woman on the planet.

I came to the realization a long time ago that a lot of people do not have our best interest in mind unless theirs benefit in some way. Example if a woman is alone, there isn’t any possible drama that they can laugh about, such as a man cheating or being disrespectful. Some women can’t win especially black women if they date interracially it’s who do they think that they are? If some black women say that they want to be alone, they are liars. There are people sadly, especially some women who find joy in someone else’s pain. Check out a person’s timeline on facebook it will tell you everything that you need to know if it’s like a loaded potato with fighting videos there you go. They love the drama; it’s the highlight of their day. Misery loves company.

Yes. There are good men, but there are a lot of bad. The good ones never say anything to the bad ones anyway that’s for another time. The bad ones cheat, lie, disrespectful, and don’t take care of their children, to name a few. As far as I am concerned, some of these dudes belong in the 1700s because the only use that they can be good at is a bed warmer.

So if some women want to be alone what it is to anyone else? What do they have to do with it? It sounds like someone isn’t so happy with their 20 minutes and being wined as well dined because they got time to pay attention to someone else’s business. Well, 20 minutes does go by quickly!!! Happy and busy people have one thing significant thing in common they don’t have time to entertain the thought of misery. I would rather be alone then deal with drama or be another notch in a man’s belt.

What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

Real Christian?

Will the real Christians please stand up? Do you know how many people consider themselves Christians? There are 2.4 billion people in the world who follow Christianity. Christians and people of the world seems to think they know what a real Christian is.

I don’t pay attention to the people of the world because they don’t believe in Christ so their opinions are invalid. They use people as an excuse to not have a relationship with Christ. I can’t take people seriously who use others as an excuse instead of just saying that they don’t want to follow Christ.

Every day I see certain Christians make a big deal about things like hair color just a couple of weeks ago Erica Campbell debuted her pink hair. There were so many people in an uproar claiming that she looked too “worldly”. Erica Campbell is one half of the gospel group Mary Mary. Mary Mary makes music that everyone can enjoy no telling how many people that they have brought to Christ. For the record I felt that she looked fantastic. The pink hair that she wore was from her hairline called Erica. So I’m thinking it could be about her making money in my opinion. I just can’t take some black Christians seriously. I’ll tell you why. Guess who used to rock pink hair unapologetically until she passed away?

Jan Crouch founded TBN with her husband I never heard not even one black person say anything about her hair. As a matter of fact they made huge donations to TBN for years and probably still do. Some black people pick and choose what they want to get up in an uproar about.

The word Christian means Christlike resembling or showing the spirit of Christ. christly. christian – following the teachings or manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus Christ. No Christian will ever be perfect the bibles says it.Romans 3:10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one. However it is still no excuse to fall short on purpose. Every day we should strive to do better on our walk with Christ.

Christ will help us to get better on our walk if our heart is truly in it. My walk isn’t according to other Christians standards and definitely not by the world’s standards but God’s. People need not look at me if you aren’t looking to God first. Everyone lives and paths are different. I don’t know what Christ is doing in other people’s lives I’m concentrating on my own path while praying for others. Real Christians pray for one another and aren’t hurtful to one another. There is a saying that goes that a Christian may be the only Bible that a person reads. Which is interesting. The only person who was perfect in the Bible was Christ everyone fell short including David. So if I am the Bible that a person reads they will see that I’m a human being with a lot of faith in God just like Job had.

Family Estrangement

We all have heard the saying that you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. Family estrangement is a situation that no family is a stranger to. The source of the reasons why family estrangement occurs could be numerous. Siblings rivalry due to their parents or just plain old jealousy. We see it every single day on social media and television shows. Maury says that when he starts his day at work he thinks to himself another day of dysfunction. So why does everyone act so shocked about Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex family?

Some people feel that the Maury show is fake but make no mistake situations on the show does happen in real life. The other day I was watching one of his paternity shows featuring a set of twins who hated each other. One twin told the other twin’s child father that the baby wasn’t his. Now get this the twin who was giving the child’s father this information was sleeping with him. A lie detector test was given to the child’s father and lots of things came out including him possibly impregnating the twin who was causing all of this trouble. After everything was said and done it was proven that the child did belong to the father. Once these people got backstage the twin promised the twin who caused all the trouble that she was going to sleep with every man that she got with. How crazy is that? Dysfunction down to the very core.

Family estrangement seeps through on social media with people posting about their family members for everyone to see. It’s rare that the people who read the posts attempts to defuse the situation whether it’s because they find it entertaining or that they have become desensitized to a family destroying one another.

I get so tired of the media giving Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex estranged family so much attention. The dad is just riding on her coat tail if he really loves her then set her free. Lets not get started on her half-sister it’s obvious that she’s jealous. She attempted to stop the royal wedding if that isn’t jealousy then I don’t know what it is. Remember messengers have motives and the motives are never good. I pray that Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex marriage will withstand this and her estranged family will just go away.

Some relationships with people are like bent cans they are just too damaged to save. The more that we attempt to save a relationship with a family member who hurts us it only gives them an opportunity to do it again. It’s like trying to hold hands with Freddy Krueger it can’t happen because it would hurt too much. Sometimes we have to pray for people and love them from an Pacific ocean’s distance.

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.

It’s a Trend?

There are a few swirl groups that I belong to and I am glad that I am in them every day I am seeing more black women and white men getting together. I just seen a white man and a black woman get married, the wedding was so beautiful. It’s incredibly awesome seeing love win. Today in one of the groups a person asked when you see a swirl couple in public honestly how does that make you feel? I answered of course by saying that it makes me happy to see black women opening themselves up to other possible avenues to happiness. What we think is meant to happen may not happen like we expect. But we can never receive the happiness that we deserve by placing limits on who can make us happy.

I have already shared my background at a young age I told my mother that I was attracted to white men, she didn’t take it well at first. The same way children go through puberty and decides which sex they are attracted to, I discovered that I was attracted to white men. It’s just that simple. So, no I wasn’t hurt white men is what I have always preferred. Sorry that you can’t minimize my attraction to being bitter or hurt. Nice try though.

In the 90s there wasn’t any swirl groups or anyone I knew that could give me advice on dating interracially. Still I understand that it took for us to go through the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s to get here today and I am extremely grateful.

If there is one thing that can grind my gears is a person downplaying or reducing a situation to nothing. When a person does that it’s a sign that they don’t want to face the reality of the truth. Recently, I read a comment on a video pertaining to interracial dating the commenter called black women and white men dating a trend. Dude are you serious right now?

The commenter was a black man, now don’t get your feathers ruffled I am in no way saying that all black men have a problem with interracial dating. So chill out okay.

I want black women to do whatever it is that makes them happy but let’s prove people wrong. Show the black men who thinks that white men and black women getting together is a trend that it isn’t a trend. The way to do this is to be totally attracted to white men to begin with. Black women should not date white men for stupid reasons like trying something new or if they have been hurt. I once knew a white guy who told me that a black woman only wanted to date him because she wanted a mixed child. Some people fail to realize that one life touches another if possible change a person’s life for the better not for the worse.

There are a lot of black women who are educated, speaks intellectually, attractive, have morals, can cook, and career driven etc. Every day I see black women breaking stereotypes about the so-called norms pertaining to us. It’s a great time to be alive. It’s a great time for white men and black women to be in love.

Meathead

If you have ever watched All in the Family you are aware of Mike and Archie’s relationship. Mike was married to Archie’s daughter Gloria. One day Archie got really angry with Mike and said you sir are a meathead. Mike asked Archie what a meathead was. Archie replied dead from the neck up. According to the Webster’s dictionary a meathead is a stupid person.

Archie use to accuse Mike all the time of acting like he was above people because he was so smart.

One day Archie came clean and admitted the truth which was that he was jealous of Mike. Archie never finished school and he had to work. The only time Archie got the chance to do what he wanted was when he bought a bar and that was late in his life.

I remember the other day reading a post about people who act like they are superior to others. I do admit it happens at times once in awhile. However is the person acting superior or are they smart and the person has a Archie complex? Hmmm. It’s something to think about.

I don’t know about anyone else but I never want a person to downplay who they are in order to make myself feel comfortable. There is always going to be someone who is more smarter, more beautiful, and more talented etc. it’s about being confident in one’s self. Confident people are not threaten by other people’s abilities or qualities.

I always complement people. If a women is beautiful I tell her that she is being jealous isn’t going to change it. I’m thankful that I have never been a jealous person. Jealousy is a waste of energy.

When a person is intimidated by someone else because of the talents that God blessed them with they are the ones who are meatheads.

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Be Lifted