pain

It’s Up To Us

I’m not pointing fingers

But we must admit

That the black community is damaged

No one wants to talk about it

No one wants to face

What is happening

No one wants to get serious

About their life choices

The ones that actually has

Major consequences

That unfortunately once done

We can’t change or fix

People want to program their minds

To see their lives

As a happily ever after

A fairy tale

But no one wants to discuss

How certain choices can bring

Us back to reality have us

Sounding like a nursery rhyme

Old woman in the shoe

Had so many children

That she didn’t know what to do

Messing with the wrong men

Will have your life like a soap opera

All my children

And you are Not Erica

Having multiple babies out of wedlock

Losing value on the dating market

As if the arrow is pointing downward

On Down Jones

Ladies don’t waste unnecessary time

Ask the man who you feel

Maybe your potential mate

What are his goals and dreams

If he wants to get married

He will tell you

Don’t let having multiple children

And him not marrying  you

To be a life lesson

It won’t be only you who will suffer

The children will too

Don’t be a fool

Don’t continue to hold on

Respect his decision

Move on life is short

Even though every single black mother’s

Situations are unique

Even though all single black mothers

Are not irresponsible

It doesn’t matter to

The people of the world

It’s time to wake up

Poverty, despair, and hopelessness

Are parts of nightmares

And should not be identified as

Being apart of African American culture

We have got to do better

We have to not feed into the negative

Stereotypes and generalizations

That some of us choose to embrace

It’s a big mistake

It’s up to us what we choose

What we answer to or who we allow

Ourselves to get attached to

Allowing negativity to turn inward

Single black mothers are not used goods

Not all of us are from the hood

Not all of us are ghetto

Those are words of the devil

We know that he is the biggest liar

Of them all

One of the greatest titles

That a woman can possess

Is being called mother

The greatest words that a parent

Can hear is their children

Tell them that they love you

We want our children to have

A better life than what we had

That requires having a stable home

Which consist of a mom and a dad

A happy homes goes beyond a fad

It never goes out of style

We don’t want to be responsible

For our children walking around

With a hole in their hearts

Remember they are suppose

To experience love first

From ma and pops

It’s time to break the curse

It’s time to stop making excuses

Because they are useless

The Black community

Needs to get it together

The broken home situation

Is very urgent

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours”  words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Heartbreak

Having your heart broken has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s something that we have all experienced at one point in our lives. I could be wrong but I think the reason why getting your heart broken hurts so much is because love is powerful. Love can make anyone fall head over heels whether they choose to admit it or not. We find ourselves doing things that we thought we never would do and when we do those things that’s a sign of being in love. It’s not a bad thing being vulnerable and giving the one that you love your all. So what happens how does things end? Who knows it could be a number of reasons people drift apart and when that happens a downward spiral begins the lying as well as the cheating occurs. There’s so much pain that can happen it’s so devastating. Dealing with betrayal is never easy for anyone.

In my opinion if you ever loved a person at all forgive them and give them to God. I know what you are saying really Tameeka? Yes I mean what I am saying. Forgiveness is for the person who is doing the forgiving. Bitterness and anger doesn’t solve anything it only slows down the healing process. We all deserve to feel better life is just too short to hold grudges and not forgive. I know when a breakup first occurs it hurts more than anything we can imagine but we have to let it go and trust God. If a person that you once love did you wrong then trust God to make it right. Being honest doesn’t cost anything to do but if a person chooses not be forgive them anyway. God will take care of all of our hurt and pain. God doesn’t fix one area of our lives and not another. God is committed to us fully. He can repair a broken heart but we have to be willing to give him our hearts. God can do anything. Trust Him today.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Don’t Rush The Process

Good Morning!  It’s time for a pep talk. There’s no time limit when it comes to healing everyone is different and therefore handles things differently. If you have lost a love one it gets better day to day but you will always miss them. I lost my mother in 1997 and it still feels like yesterday. What I have learned as long as we remember them they will always be with us. If you are suffering from a broken heart you will heal in time. Take your time to heal I’m not saying to dwell on it but it’s not good to act like you fine when you are not. Kinda like when my quarterback (Tony Romo) got hurt and came back too early he ended up being out for the entire season. More than likely he had people in his ear asking are you heal yet we need you. Which brings to something else don’t talk to people who aren’t empathetic. You know the ones who will go as far as to tell you to get over things lose those kind of people right away. You will heal eventually don’t rush the process. God is a excellent comforter and listener He won’t rush you as a matter of fact He will carry you.

Myths About Black Women

It upsets me having to make a post about this situation at this point in time. The disrespect that black women receive is so ridiculous. The myths pertaining to us are unbelievable that we have kids by several men, that we are uneducated, that we are lazy, the list just goes on. When a black woman decides to date outside of her race the stereotypes are even worse.  First off I don’t fit into the cliche’that’s placed on women who date outside of their race. I grew up in a mostly black neighborhood, had a mixture race of friends, mostly black schools etc. I don’t watch Empire or Scandal. I am just attracted to white men and that’s just how it is. I’ve spoken about this before there’s a lady that I follow on YouTube and she talks about interracial dating. She gets a lot of flack because she’s promoting love. So what’s wrong with that?  When I  find my potential white mate I’m going to broadcast it too. That’s what people do when they are in love.

I’m for the human race and yes I am very concerned about the black community. Being a black woman I am apart of the black community so how could I not be concerned. It’s quite laughable how many speak of racism and don’t  want to address the hate that’s going on in the community against black women. The lack of respect is astonishing.  Where did it all come from?  And why? In my opinion I believe that a lot of pain starts at home. Broken homes where mainly single mothers are the head of the household with fathers who aren’t in their children’s lives. Broken children who grew up into angry adults that’s hurting the community. Hurt people hurt others. Hurt people justify their hurt by hurting others. The saddest people are the ones who validate trying to destroy a person by blaming the person who they are trying to destroy. The hate that a lot of black men have for black women is so overwhelming that it demolishes all the positive things that’s going on. This needs to stop we have to do better. At the end of the day we are hurting ourselves as a community. Think about it we must break the chain. Who will be brave enough to not point fingers but do their part?

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Words Hurt So Be Careful

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Remember growing up when our parents taught us this saying? That saying is now being drowned out and the internet doesn’t make it any easier either. What does the Bible say about gossip because that’s what I live by.

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Proverbs 34:13

Keep the tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

There are several scriptures on gossip and lies so what does that say? It’s a major problem. I’ve never been one to indulge in gossip because most times they are lies. What’s the person or people’s motive for telling them? Many times there are always reasons behind all of it. I remember two cool things from seventh grade one me scoring 104 on a big science test and a valuable lesson in Mr. Braswell’s class. One day when I was in class Mr. Braswell said that he was going to teach us a lesson on gossip. He told one person a story in the hallway and one after another he had different students tell the story by the time the last student told the whole class the story it was nothing at all like what Mr. Braswell said.

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So if you don’t want to go by the Bible here is another saying when you talk behind a fool without any real proof you sound like one. It’s important to care about what you repeat besides would you like if it were you being victimized by gossip and lies?

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