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The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.

The Art of Forgiveness

The moment a person hurts me
I forgive
The moment a person uses me
I forgive
The moment a person judges me
I forgive
The moment a person breaks my heart
I forgive
The moment a person disappoint me
I forgive
The moment the person betrays me
I forgive
The moment that a person makes me
Feel anything else besides positive
I forgive
If a person does these things to me
I develop an understanding
Rather what was done to me was done
Purposely or not
I choose to forgive
The moment that I forgive my peace
Begins and my pain ends
Forgiveness is a process
Don’t know if it can ever be perfected
It’s hard to forget
About a messed up situation
Especially when most of the time
The biggest test of forgiveness
Is forgiving a person who caused pain
That came from a person whom
Was trusted the most
Betrayal rarely comes from a stranger
Forgiveness isn’t holding on to grudges
It’s letting go of them
Besides the person doesn’t know or care
About the trouble that they caused
We all need a lesson
It’s a two way street
We all at one point has hurt someone
Purposely or unintentionally
All we can do is ask for forgiveness
You can’t push it
If we do
That means we are only thinking of ourselves
We want to be free of guilt
When we do wrong we must deal with
It and respect a person’s space
Closure may mean losing a person without a trace
Just be thankful for God’s grace
Many times that has to be enough

Check Out the Lyrics

As we all know music is powerful. The other day a person that I follow on YouTube made some interesting points about the song No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. People of my generation grew up listening to that song. In my opinion the song can be looked at from two different ways obviously. The song no pain no gain was a popular song. Anyway the person on YouTube felt that the song had an negative effect on women. Basically the song encourages women to take bull crap from men. I have to admit that she has a point.

I have decided to share lyrics from songs on my blog to check the meaning. Here are the lyrics to No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. Are the lyrics uplifting or do they keep women in bad relationships? Isn’t love about give and take? When is enough a enough in a relationship? There will be ups and downs in every relationship. Hmmmm.

“No Pain, No Gain”

Ooh…ooh…ooh…

My baby and are back together again
Lovin’ is better than it’s ever been
If it weren’t for the trials we’ve been through
I’d never have the courage to come back to you

We’re all entitled to make a mistake
We got to prepare for some heartbreak
I as earnin’ my man, while I was learnin’ my man
Something you young girls might not understand

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

There was an old lady sittin’ under a tree
She called me over and she said to me
“My days left here may not be long
I wouldn’t waste my time tellin’ you nothin’ wrong

But love is a flower that needs the sun and the rain
A little bit of pleasure’s worth a whole lot of pain
If you learn this secret, how to forgive
A longer and better life you’ll live’

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), mmm
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Anything worth havin’ at all
Is worth workin’ for and waitin’ for
Some of my closest friends
Have thought they had their thing on a string
Just ’cause that man was bringin’ ’em flowers and candy and all kinds of gifts
Mmm, mmm, honey
Some gifts are just to make him feel better while he’s on his guilt trip
About the night before
You know what I mean
Especially when you know you haven’t been doin’ the things you should do
Think about it
What is the man tryin’ to tell you
Sometimes flowers mean “Maybe we should just be friends’
Do you get my drift
Hang if you can hang
No pain, no gain

In order to get something
You got to give something
In order to be something
You got to go through something

Be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the streets
You can’t show your teeth to every guy you meet
It’s alright to be a little sweet
But be a mama with the kids and you know what in the sheets

No pain (No pain)
No pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See, you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old evil devil trying to keep us apart
Say devil you ain’t getting nothin’ here
I’m holding on to my man and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), oh
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old devil tryin’ keep us apart
Say devil, you ain’t got nothin’ here
I’m holdin’ to my man, and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Oh, no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no pain (No pain, no pain), no-no-no-no-no-no-no pain (No gain)
No-no pain, no-no pain (No pain), no-no pain (No pain), no pain (No gain), no pain

No pain (No pain, no pain, no gain)
In order to get something (No pain), give something (No pain)
To be something (No gain) you got to go through something
(No pain, no pain, no gain)

Oh…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no (No pain)
No-no-no-no (No pain, no gain)

No…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
You’re really not to gain anything (No pain, no pain)
Without (No gain) goin’ through some pain

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No-no (No gain)

(No pain, no pain, no gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No pain (No gain), no gain, no pain, no gain

Get something (No pain, no pain)
You got to go through something (No gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Hear me when I say no pain, no gain (No pain), no pain, no gain (No pain)
No pain, no gain (No gain)

Skeletons in Your Closet

My mother loved music one song that she used to play a lot was called Skeletons by Stevie Wonder. The beat to that song Skeletons was everything!! Anyway the lyrics went:

Skeletons in your closest

Itchin’ to come outside

Messin’ with your conscience

In a way your face can’t hide

Well you see where I am going with this. We all have skeletons in our closet still God has forgiven us. No one should be walking around with a heavy heart behind past events that God has already forgiven us for. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your past because that isn’t cool. Especially when people don’t know you or your story. We have to get rid of people who are quick to judge and slow to love.

In my opinion when we can’t move on from past mistakes it robs us of our present. Our present is a gift. I don’t care how many bones a person has in their closet whether it’s enough to make a human skeleton or a dinosaur museum. Who are we to judge? A person of the world reminds a person of their past a real Christian knows better than to do that. Everyone has skeletons and everyone has a story that they don’t want to read aloud.

So don’t allow the devil, your guilt, your enemies, or anybody to make you feel guilty about what you and God has already worked out. Life is too short to worry about unpaid critics that feel that they have a right to judge your life. What did Jesus tell the woman who was caught in adultery? What did Jesus say to the Pharisees who was about to stone her? Alright enjoy the life that God has given you and be blessed!

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

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Knowing Your Front Row

I was blessed to read this phenomenal book called The Woman Code by Sophia A. Nelson. The last time I read a book for enjoyment was a little over a year ago. The Woman Code gave me life it contains 20 important keys that a woman should apply to her life. I absolutely love the book and recommend it to any woman who’s willing to listen. Sophia is a Christian and used scriptures to support what she wrote in her book.

There was so many things about the book that I loved the main thing was knowing your front row. It’s essential to know your front row it’s what some people like to call a circle not me though. A person knowing their front row makes way more sense. It’s taking a long hard look at the people who are closest to you. The people closest to you that doesn’t live in your home. What kind of people are closest to you? Are they loyal? Are they kind? What kind of faith do they have? Does the people closest match you? People are an important resource. My mother always used to say that no man is an island everybody needs somebody even Christ had twelve disciples.

It’s important to know your front row. I want people who are honest and want the best for me as  I do them. I don’t want yes men or yes women, yes people will lead a person to water and allow them to drown. I don’t want disloyal people because the front row can poison the back rows. People will assume that everything a person says that is closest to you is accurate after all they are close to you. One mistake that I used to make besides being a people pleaser was always trying to recycle relationships with people. In life we have to let some people go especially when their time is up in our lives. Some people are either for a reason so they stay or a season so they go away.

A little bit off topic on the Walking Dead Rick wouldn’t let go of Shane. Shane had slept with his wife and got her pregnant. Shane not only poisoned Rick’s marriage but the people around them. Shane went against Rick the whole way it took Shane trying to kill Rick before he realized that the friendship was over. Sometimes we get stuck in our fantasies about people that we refuse to face the reality. I also believe that we sometimes hold on to people out of fear like will they talk about you. People will talk about you no matter what if anything holding on is giving them more information. We have to learn how to not feed the wrong people information. We have to think like Kenny Rogers got to know when to hold them, fold them and walk away. True facts!!! When a person shows you who they are believe them. When a relationship is over let it go. There’s power in letting go and pain in holding on.

I think that we have to really learn to trust God and listening to that small still voice. God will never leave us nor forsake us He promised this. I’m praying that God gives me discernment to recognize who doesn’t belong in my front row, protection from poisonous people and the strength to let the people go. I don’t want the wrong people in my front row poisoning the back row disturbing my audience.

Farewell

I am so sad about Tony Romo leaving the Dallas Cowboys. Tony Romo had so many injuries in the past and he’s played with some of them. The fan base of celebrities and sports are wishy washy there have been negative as well as positive things being sad about Tony Romo. In my opinion  I feel that Tony Romo should retire but his ego won’t allow it. I just feel that Tony shouldn’t continue to risk his health one has to realize when it’s time to throw in the towel.

There have been some players who went on to another team and won a Superbowl ring others have not. Drew Brees and Peyton Manning won a Superbowl when they went to another team. Hoping that Tony Romo has some kind of success it would break my heart to see his career ruined.

I want to thank Tony Romo for all of his hard work and dedication. You are one heck of a player!! I enjoyed when he teamed up with T.O, Marion Barber, Dez Bryant and Jason Witten the list just goes on. I’m praying that he remains healthy. Many blessings to you!

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We Are Not Same

Everyone is distinctive

In his or her own way

We are not the same

This is something that should be taught

To every child on their first school day

Each one of us

Have our own fingerprints and DNA

Black people come in different shades

White people have different

Hair and eye color

Asian people have Chinese, Japanese

Filipino, Pakistani, and Korean

Can you see where I am going with this

These things helps us to stand up

And stand out

From one another

We are not the same

Every woman can wear a size 8

And will still be different shapes

Some people are tall

Some people are short

Take the time to embrace

What makes people different

Do it as a way to appreciate it

And not as a way to copy it

To copy is to compete

You will forget why you are unique

You never want to lose yourself

Because you may never

Find yourself ever again

Being a person who follow trends

Regardless of a person

Trying to be the same

Least common factors

Will always remain

Apply this analogy to snowflakes

In your mind allow it to resonate

When we realize that being different

Is actually us being ourselves

It’s a blessing like nothing else

Differences help to make

This world beautiful

If everything were the same

We would not have things like the

Rainbow it requires

Various colors to make it complete

Even roses come in different colors

One life touches another

Different life stories with many pages

That are to encourage and inspire

It’s how God gets His glory

We must be the person

Who God called us to be

We are not the same

That will never change

And you know what

It’s okay

Black Love Day

Everyone already knows where I stand on the subject of black love. In my opinion love has no color, love is a feeling that joins two people together. Love is loving a person even when they are being unlovable and there will be days like that. If a person’s love has limitations then it isn’t love but perhaps the other four letter word which is lust. Many people confuse love and lust. If a person isn’t involved with you for the long haul then don’t entertain them at all. Don’t waste your time because life is too short for that.

Anyway back on topic Black Love Day was founded by Ayo Handy Kendi director of the African American Holiday Association in 1993. I never knew about Black Love Day until today one of my Facebook friends posted about it, she’s very knowledgeable. I’m very thankful for her posts I have learned so much from her.

Everyone has so many goals and that’s great what about a person to spend your life with. God created Eve for Adam He intended for us all to love. Today people don’t stick and stay because they don’t do things God’s way! I truly pray that everyone finds the person who God has for them. God doesn’t want us to be alone that’s why He made marriage and marriage is suppose to be until death.

When it comes to love there will be good days and bad days. The goods days helps a couple to weather the storm of the bad. The bad days gets a couple to draw strength so they can enjoy more good days. Love doesn’t fade. Love is patient and kind. Love is understanding. When a person truly loves a person one does whatever it takes to hold things together. When a couple truly love one another many test will come but they have to do the work to pass them. When a couple is truly in love outsiders will be jealous and will try to bring drama. A couple have to have trust and work as a team to keep negative things out. When two people love one another it’s forever regardless of their skin color. Can  I get a Woot Woot?!

Yes You Are

You don’t need L’Oreal to tell you that you are worth it. God shows us our worth everyday. Never leave it up to someone else to tell you your worth. Never let a person treat you less than the way that you deserve. We have to trust God always He will guide us to who and what is right. Here’s some cool memes:

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