Truth

Go Ahead

It never ceases to amaze me. The moment I share that I enjoy heavy metal a pop quiz always follows with a continuation of questionnaires. How long have you been listening to metal? I was talking about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the person was like, what is the leader of the band’s name? Like really dude? If it was hip-hop would I be given the third degree? Geez, I didn’t know that listening to certain music came with stipulations.

When some black people find out they swear that I don’t listen to metal. Whatever dude. Black people were the pioneers of rock music, so get over it. I am a black woman who enjoys listening to heavy metal and I am Not alone. I try not to get triggered but I just hate labels. Labels suck!!! Don’t place them on me!
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I have been listening to heavy metal every since I was really young. Pantera, Korn, Arch Enemy, In this moment, new metal and old I am very knowledgeable. My love for music is genuine.

On This Day

First off, Happy Valentine’s Day to all! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying their day, their way.

Facebook has something called “On this day” where people are able to look back and reflect on what they posted the prior years. On this Valentine’s day be happy for others and if you are attached be thankful for the loved one that you have.

I have seen some people who say that they are ready for this day to be over, I guess it’s a reminder that they are single. I think that some single people have to learn how to be happy for others. What’s the difference in seeing a person get a job promotion and a person who are in a happily committed relationship? A blessing is a blessing. It’s important that we are careful about how we express ourselves about certain things because it’s a reflection of who we are deep down inside.

Every day reflect on what occurred in your past relationships if you are single because you won’t be single forever. You want to make amends with the pain that may still be affecting you. Why else would you hate this day?

A person should never feel bad about being single. It’s best to be with the right one than the wrong one. It’s best to heal from past hurt than to get involved with someone and hurt them in some way. Hurt people, hurt others. Heal people, heal others. When we are healed we can then go on and have a healthy loving relationship.

So on this Valintine’s day look at it in a positive way because if you can do that it’s a sign that you have healed from whatever it is that hurt you.

Jimi Hendrix

Good Morning Everyone!!! As we all know, this month is black history month so I want to take the time to talk about Jimi Hendrix. If you talk to any huge guitarist they will tell you that Jimi Hendrix inspired them. Jimi Hendrix was a left handed guitarist, who played his guitar behind his head, and with his teeth.

Often times, I wonder what it was like for Jimi Hendrix coming up during the time that he did? One concert where he played the song “Hey Joe” some gave him a bland applause. People who was able to see him in person were blessed. They was in the presence of greatness and did not realize it.

Jimi Hendrix was only 28 years old when he passed away, the man was way ahead of his time. I have not seen any guitarist who can do what he did!!! I give credit where it’s due and Hendrix was the man!

This Time of Year

I always get sad
Around this time of year
It’s when my mother
Left from here
Let me make myself clear
When it comes to
The death of a love one
You never heal
It’s impossible to get over
Losing someone who
You held so near, so dear
To your heart
There are always
Things that remind you
That they are gone
A picture, a memory, a song
Holidays, birthdays
Every time I reached
An important moment in my life
I would whisper
This is for you mom
I often wonder
How things would be like
If she was here
What advice would
She have given me
To help to endure hardships
She was so strong
She was so courageous
She was a leader
She was a blessing
She was my hero
Which is why all
I ever wanted to do
Was to make her happy
And to see her smile
It’s still impossible
For me to talk about her
Without holding back my tears
Bottled up feelings
Resides inside even though
I live my life
As best as I can
Even after twenty-one years this Saturday
It’s still feels as if
She passed yesterday
This is why I say
If you have lost
A special someone
Don’t allow anyone
To make you feel
As if the grief process has a limit
To heck with that
Never feel bad about
Mourning the one you love
Or for missing them
The pain is for life
Death of a love one
Will always hurt

Half Baked

There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them.” I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.

The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times, the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him, and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.

The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior, even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man and not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes, so they weren’t taught about their worth.

No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction, and so people want to leave it behind, which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of effect everyone in some way, shape, or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only; it ends up affecting a lot of innocent people — just something to think about.

All parents have to do their part to ensure that their wrong parenting decisions don’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get, they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so, they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or they are rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.

Somewhere along the way in the past, people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children, scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues and choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.

Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents, we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make hasty decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s essential that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.

When is Enough, Enough?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that “there comes a time when silence is a betrayal.” When is enough, enough? When is it best to be silent? When is it time to speak up? I started my blog to talk about the things that people think about but choose not to talk about for whatever reason.

Let me start by saying this; it doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic or Whatever a person believes in!!! It’s a person’s right to believe what they choose!!! My point is that Everyone has been tested about when to speak and when to be silent.

God asked Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let His People go. God had given Pharaoh many chances before sending many plagues and even the death of his son. However, Pharaoh was still stubborn. God asked Moses to speak. Guess who was attempting to stop Moses from speaking? It was Moses. Moses was afraid of speaking up. There have been many stories in the Bible, where God asked people to speak up.

If God calls on a Christian to speak, they had better do it; unless that Christian wants to end up in the belly of a whale. So no, God does not expect a Christian to be quiet all the time and to turn the other cheek. God has asked people to act, and that included speaking up.

There have been times when I was going to tell people my story, but God told me not to say anything and that my time for sharing my story is coming. How do I know that God told me not to say anything? He gave me confirmation. One of my Facebook friends tagged me in a post the following day of me contemplating on sharing my story. The post said, “Life is meant to be Lived. Fear is not an option when you know you were sent to Fly. Understand your Power; know that you are Greatness.” This lady is on fire for God and did not know what was on my mind. God had her relay a message. God told her to reach out to me. God told her to speak. So you see God has proven His existence to me time and time again.

Earth is not Heaven, so everyone isn’t going to be good, but Earth isn’t hell either we still experience the beauty of flowers, butterflies, blue skies and cool breezes. I understand that there are some people here on Earth who has made our lives to be almost unbearable. But God will have our backs, and He does have us speak. Yes, we are living in a society regardless of who they choose to follow for guidance, who are treacherous. Understand these jealous people who are our enemies study us more than they did for a test in school. Why? Because they see things that we don’t positive things that may threaten them. So they want to attack our character or try to attempt to have others question things. Some of our enemies pretend to know so much about us and know nothing at all. This can and has happened to anyone.

If we encounter or are in the company of people who try to silence us, we have to let them go. I refuse to need deep in scalding hot water and claim that I am shivering to make others happy. No, I am not making people comfortable, so they don’t have to deal with my pain. People who genuinely care won’t expect us to suffer in silence. Life is too short not to speak up to avoid confrontation. Because guess what? At times confrontation is necessary. Escapism is a temptation because it’s an easy fix.

I have had some Christians come after me and judge especially about the kinds of music that I listen to. I have had non-Christians judge me too claiming to be all open-minded and their minds be more narrow than the side of a ruler. Encouraging people to speak but doubt everything they shared with them (behind their backs of course). People don’t feel safe enough to share their stories, especially with people who will claim it isn’t true, which makes them seems like nosy people. Nosy people pretend to care to gain information. So we all have to be careful about sharing our life journey.

Bottom line confrontation is always going to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we will have people tell us to be quiet even when the writing is on the wall. If it doesn’t feel right, then we have to speak up. Sometimes being silent is Not the answer, especially in the face of adversary. Confrontation is necessary.

Can’t Nobody Tell It Better Than Me

Diversity of thought allows a person to accept and respect what another person believes as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. I am a Christian, and I am proud of that. When I had no one, I had God. I can give testimony after testimony about what God did to save my children and I. Again; it was not a human. I understand that some people have had situations that occurred in their lives, where they question God. Some people are so angry at God that it has them blind. There are about 7.3 billion people in the world, and 2.3 billion are Christians. So 2.3 billion people are lost? This isn’t slavery time no one is getting beat over the head and forced to believe in Christ. People of different races are Christians. So, all of these people are just blind, and they believe in Christ for no reason? I don’t think so.

I have had things that have occurred in my life, and recently I found something else out. And I am not angry at God about it. God gave us all free will. He doesn’t force us to believe in Him or follow Him. Kind like us wanting people to love us for who we are and not for what we can do. Think about it like this some people don’t believe in God, but they all aren’t going to behave the same. Some will think of others, but a lot won’t even more so. Why? They lack structure, and that’s why they do whatever they want without a care in the world. They lack having a conscience. We can’t blame God for everything and especially not for the people who choose Not to follow Him. Of course, they will do evil things their flesh controls them Not God.

In my opinion, a person can’t allow God if they are full of themselves. The consequence of not following God is an angry person who has an appetite for destruction, which is why I am careful of what I allow into my spirit. Evil is Not Good. Evil likes to hide in the dark. Bad things happen in the dark. We can’t walk in the dark, which is why we turn on a light. But once the light is on, there is no place for evil or darkness to hide. Evil is Not of light. The saying goes, “what’s done in the dark comes out in the light” because bad things can hide in darkness — something to think about.

I am not telling all of my life’s story because it’s Not time yet. I will say this much my “father” hated me, he abused my mother, my sister and I, both of my sons (one is autistic) are by the same man who I was married to, we don’t get along, and I am a single mother. This is just the tip of the iceberg about my life. Some of the things that have happened in my life were bad choices that I made and Not God’s fault. Some of the worst chapters in my life happened when I wasn’t walking right with God. Every life has a story, and so does mine. All I know is that there has to be a God with all I have been through and continue to go through. I have overcome and endured!!! That’s how I know that God is real. Believe what you will, after all, we have free will. I choose to believe what the harm is in believing and having hope? Besides, I will not stop having faith, it’s the one thing that keeps me going When I Am About To Run Out Of Steam!!!

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days, some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it, and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person, they need to find out why it does. She is not a problem.

Sometimes people can’t win if you advise with no experience; it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot; I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity, so she has zero privacy; the public knows her past. However, some women aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a history. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. Some people agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible, Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could be the message that they need to give them hope.

Forgive My Grammar

They’re or their. You’re or your. Prescriptive grammar, misplaced modifier, faulty pronoun reference, and many others, it can sometimes make people question your intellect. However, we all have been guilty of making grammar errors. I write on my blog alone without help, unlike other bloggers. Sometimes I will have a thought and blog about it. A lot of times, I will reread my posts later to check for things that I may have missed.

I’m not above making mistakes in my writing. Heck, I have found errors in newspapers and textbooks, which is why I don’t get pressed about the grammar police.

Steve Vai said something really cool. He said, don’t worry about what other people think about what you do as long as you love it. He further went on to say that if he had listened to people the song “For the Love of God” would not have been. A friend of his told him that it terrible but it turned out to be one of his biggest hits. To all of the grammar police out there, please excuse my errors. You know what I mean!!!
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The Blame Game

I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better, and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women, but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.

I’m getting so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married, and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you; Casper the friendly ghost!!!
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Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions; we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone, even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ; He’s the one who brought my two children and me through every hardship.

Both black men and black women need to get it right; please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not; the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired, and no, I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out, and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!