TameekaKing

I Just Don’t Know How to Feel

I feel like the U2 song called Numb
I have a bland demeanor
I just don’t know how to feel
I wrote a post
The other day
Was it God preparing me
I spoke about
The importance of being healthy
Then boom one of my sisters
That is second to me in my family
Became sickly
My sister and I
Have very different personalities
We are not any different
Than any other siblings
She would push me
To the point where
I would scream
Then things would really get ugly
The next thing you know
We stop speaking
To each other
This last time was unique
Because when I spoke
Back to my sister
She had a surgery
That changed everything
It brought on an
Illness that made her so weak
That it robbed
Her of her speech and mobility
My sister told me
That she had a vision
Of all of her sisters
When we were young
In the backyard playing
Then she gave me an apology
She said I’m sorry
That I have been so mean
I love you with all of my heart
Then she started crying
And asked God
Why are You punishing me?
I think about Christianity
Christians are still
Human beings
Is it right
For us to except
People being mean?
I always try
To be forgiving
I feel so torn
Do I stand up
And demand respect
For all the times
She made me upset
Or do I allow
This situation to teach me
To not waste time
On stupid things
Because time is the most
Valuable thing that you can
Share with someone
That you love deeply
I love my sisters
So much I just
Want us to live to be elderly
I just want us to live carefree
I just want us to be happy
Father God in Heaven
Please allow my prayers
To be
My heart can’t take
Anymore agony

Type O Negative

Hey Everyone! What’s up?! This is my first what’s Tameeka listening to for the month of August. I’m super excited.

The 90s holds so many memories for me. On Saturday nights I would stay up late just to watch Headbanger’s Ball. My mother would buy blank VHS tapes so I could record Headbanger’s Ball.

The year was 1994 when Riki Rachtman interviewed Peter Steele and Josh Silver. I was glued to the television screen. The song Christian woman was one of Type O Negative’s biggest hits. Peter Steele was a very intelligent guy he wrote all the songs for the band. Josh Silver was always cool as a cucumber with a sarcastic demeanor. The interview had one funny moment when Riki talked about the lyrics like Peter had a problem with women. Peter was like “I wrote a song about one woman that I was upset with. Anyone who understands basic English should know the difference between singular and plural.” Type O Negative was the absolute best. The 90s was when the band’s popularity was at it’s peak.

I love Type O Negative so much. Yeah! Please know that black girls indeed rock even back in the day I appreciated all music.

Type O Negative’s music is what I am listening to today as I bang my head walking down memory lane.

Just a Thought

I have been meaning to post about this days ago. It’s about Nia Wilson she was killed because of a random act. Everywhere on Facebook it’s hashtag justice for Nia Wilson. I would like to say that I have her family in my prayers.

I find some of the people of my race comical. I read a post by a black man that said:
Dear White Men,
“In my presence Do Not And I Repeat Do Not Disrespect, Touch, Cuss, Do Anything To Harm My Black Women!”
Is this brother serious? I have seen him tell black women when they complain about black men to “choose better.” This is the kind of stuff that I am talking about!!! I can’t and don’t take some of these black men seriously. The hypocrisy is unreal! I see it every day.

What I am about to write could piss people off but it’s my opinion which I am entitled to. There is a video that I saw and the lady made a lot of sense. She spoke of how when she researched further about the Nia Wilson’s story that she found other stories that no one was talking about.

I’ll tell you the reason why the Nia Wilson story is talked about and not the others for the same reason why Rosa Parks was talked about and Claudette Colvin wasn’t. Or the Lovings and not Elinor Powell. The black community pick and choose the stories that they want to get outraged about. Some black people look at looks, prestige, and skin color as important and blame the white race. If you don’t believe me read Claudette Colvin’s story.

The moment that some black people see a situation with a white person they scream racism. It’s not always about race. I’m so sorry about Nia Wilson but the fact is more black women die by the hands of black men. There are more violent black on black crimes than black people being killed by another race. Murder is never right by anyone’s hands just like it’s not right to make up excuses about black on black crime. Where is the outrage about domestic violence? Where is the outrage when an innocent child is killed during a drive by? Where is the outrage about gang violence?

I wrote a post about this a few days ago all of my life I have embraced who I am. I have never followed the trend but did what made me happy. The point is some black people in the community pick and choose what to get outraged out as well as who to embrace. I have been mistreated by people who share my skin color however that’s a post for another day.

All life is precious and no one has the right to cut someone else’s short I don’t care what race the person is.

Being Alone

As long as I am on Facebook, my chances of developing writer’s block are slim. Every day I see something that makes me feel like what in the world? Today I saw a post that said, “Women who say that they want to be alone are liars. If a woman doesn’t want the company of a man, something must be wrong because it’s human nature. That every woman wants to be touched if not but for 20 minutes and be wined as well as dined by someone special. Step out of the denial zone!” So hilarious! Like this person can speak for every woman on the planet.

I came to the realization a long time ago that a lot of people do not have our best interest in mind unless theirs benefit in some way. Example if a woman is alone, there isn’t any possible drama that they can laugh about, such as a man cheating or being disrespectful. Some women can’t win especially black women if they date interracially it’s who do they think that they are? If some black women say that they want to be alone, they are liars. There are people sadly, especially some women who find joy in someone else’s pain. Check out a person’s timeline on facebook it will tell you everything that you need to know if it’s like a loaded potato with fighting videos there you go. They love the drama; it’s the highlight of their day. Misery loves company.

Yes. There are good men, but there are a lot of bad. The good ones never say anything to the bad ones anyway that’s for another time. The bad ones cheat, lie, disrespectful, and don’t take care of their children, to name a few. As far as I am concerned, some of these dudes belong in the 1700s because the only use that they can be good at is a bed warmer.
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So if some women want to be alone what it is to anyone else? What do they have to do with it? It sounds like someone isn’t so happy with their 20 minutes and being wined as well dined because they got time to pay attention to someone else’s business. Well, 20 minutes does go by quickly!!! Happy and busy people have one thing significant thing in common they don’t have time to entertain the thought of misery. I would rather be alone then deal with drama or be another notch in a man’s belt.

Selective Familyship

Don’t talk to me
About us being family
When a person
Being different
When diversity of thought
When not following the trend
Isn’t welcomed
Don’t talk to me
About our people
Being slaves
When in this
Current day
Some of you come up
With ways daily
To hurt your people
With memes and name calling
How black women
Are ugly, money grubbing,
Attitude, no hair or edges having,
Weave and wig wearing
Females with multiple
Children by different daddies
Warning anyone who will
Listening to stay away
Don’t believe me
Go look on social media
Search the internet
Things that are distorting
Black women’s image will be found
Which tugs at our self-esteem
For the whole world to see
It is the ultimate form of slavery
Bonded by the feelings
Of being unworthy
Of priceless things
Like love and respect
Public humiliation
At it’s finest
Some black men get on the internet
Proclaiming that black women
Just ain’t s***
For the record
I have two sons
By the same man
We got married
He went to prison
He got out
Guess where he is at
Yeap you guessed it
In another female’s bed
Taking care of another man’s kids
While acting like his kids
Don’t exist
When I share about
My history
It’s oh that’s why
She’s bitter and angry
There’s never any understanding
Some of you are
Worse than the Pharisees
Who caught the woman
In adultery
But the man that she was with
Got off scott free
It’s so sad
Nothing about this is funny
Ahhh the hypocrisy
Don’t talk about interracial dating
It’s almost like it’s a crime
For black women
To explore happiness
In some other locality
As if it’s poisioning
The black community
When some black men
Have been enjoying
Having cream in their coffee
Get some of them angry
That’s when things
Really gets ugly
And their true feelings
About you
Comes to the surface
But do you know
When they first had
These feelings
It was in the beginning
They didn’t just happen
And don’t get me
Started on the
Attacks that are used
As silencing tactics
I get so tired
Of being silent
So don’t come to me
With the our people mess
These selective battles
I just can’t stand it
It doesn’t make any sense
Stop being a hypocrite
I’m not for division
Amongst the races
Just leave me out of it
Claiming me
As your family
Or your people
Only when you see fit

Tameeka’s Top Ten Metallica Songs

I love Metallica! They are one of my all time favorite bands.

I’m enjoying the idea of sharing my top ten songs by my favorite bands. Choosing my favorite Metallica songs was so hard but I did it. So here are my top ten songs:

10. The Memory Remains
9. Sad but True
8. A Wolf and Man
7. Wherever I May Roam
6. Until it Sleeps
5. Enter Sandman
4. Orion
3. Fade to Black
2. For Whom the Bell Tolls
1. One

It was so hard other songs that are my favorites that didn’t make the list are Nothing Else Matters, The Unforgiven and Master of Puppets.

80s Hair Bands

My, My, My, My, My! Kip Winger hands down was one of the most attractive lead singers of an 80s band. In the 80s it was a time for hair bands like Winger, Poison, Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, Skid Row, etc. Well you get it.

Winger is an amazing band. My favorite song by Winger is called Easy Come Easy Go which is my attitude towards love now a days! The video for that song had so much energy. I laugh at people who question my knowledge about rock and heavy metal. Play me in Song Pop! I’ll prove my knowledge.

Today I listened to every hair band there is especially Winger. Music can take a person back!

Here are my top 10 hair bands:
10.Slaughter
9.Warrant
8.Quiet Riot
7.Cinderella
6.Poison
5.Winger
4.Skid Row
3.Bon Jovi
2.Motley Crue
1.Guns N Roses

It was so hard to pick the top ten because I love all of the hair bands.

Which Playlist is Best?

Am I going to listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Faith No More? Jack White is in a class of his own. He always wins with me.

I’m doing my assignment soon so I want music to play all the way through. Do you remember a time when albums were made instead of mixtapes? Yeah. Me too, it was in the 90s. In the 90s every genre was great it’s the truth. The 90s music could stomp today’s music into the dirt. Don’t make me call Mike Patton over here to prove it.
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Okay. Faith No More is my choice of music for today. Epic! What it is? You want it all but you can’t have it. It’s in your face but you can’t grab it. Mike Patton has a high octane voice that is thought to be higher than Mariah Carey’s. That’s amazing. The riffs on Epic though and that video! The videos of today are nothing like years ago.

Waiting to Be Forgiven

Learning the art of forgiveness can sometimes be a hard lesson to take. Everyone talks about the hurt that has happened to them and how they have trouble forgiving the person who has wronged them. Sadly we are living in a world where people are always the victim, and they never accept accountability for anything. Still, does anyone ever think about how would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it’s you who is waiting to be forgiven? Is it ever too late to say that you are sorry? Whether it was unintentional or intentional, everyone has hurt someone before. Nobody is above offending someone.

Yes. It’s always best to forgive after all forgiveness is for our peace of mind. It’s mentally exhausting stressing about something that we have no control over. Life is not like a DVD; there are no alternate endings things are what they are. So there is no need to regurgitate a situation continuously.

I read a post about forgiveness that was interesting; it almost sounded like a guilt trip. It said something about not blocking blessings by holding grudges aka unforgiveness in one’s heart. When we are the ones waiting for forgiveness, we can’t speed up the process no matter how much it may hurt. Like a cut or bruise, it takes time to heal.

I also thought about a television show that featured a situation that required forgiveness. A boyfriend caught his girlfriend kissing a close friend of theirs. The boyfriend felt destroyed; he loved his girlfriend so much. The girlfriend apologized, and the boyfriend accepted it; however, he asked her for space. For weeks the girlfriend did everything that she could to make situations happen so that she could cross her boyfriend’s path. Finally, the girlfriend built up the courage to talk to her boyfriend. She told him that it had been weeks and that she wanted to speak. The boyfriend called her out on her actions, immediately expressing that he told her that he needed some space and that she only wanted to talk so that she could feel better about herself. He further went on to say that he knew that it was hard for her, but it wasn’t his problem.

When we try to force a person to forgive us on our terms, it can make the person that we offended question if our apology was even authentic. We have to remember that everyone is different and heal at different rates. It’s essential to respect a person’s space if they ask for it.

Forgiveness is a two-way street. If we ever hurt someone, we should make an apology quickly, own it, and make things right. When we own what we have done, it should not be shared. Making a person share the blame for what we have done is never cool. Sometimes we can hurt a person so severely that it may burn a bridge and we have to move on. As we get older, it should be about doing adult things like producing a healthy environment with the people that we care about. It’s childish and selfish to care only about ourselves. It’s vital if we can to not do things that can jeopardize relationships with the people we care about. I would rather spend my time enjoying the relationships that I have with people instead of waiting to be forgiven.