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Laying Down the Torch

I adore Alanis Morissette, I have been a massive fan of hers since her first album. I know, I know, I am telling my age, but hey it’s all right. Jagged Little Pill was Alanis first album that was released on June 13, 1995. It’s funny how little things have huge meanings later. Recently I have done an honest elevation of myself, and I am glad that I did it. At times some of our biggest epiphanies come from our deepest pain. Sadly they sometimes come at a time when it’s too late to be able to change certain situations, but at least we grasp some real realizations. Alanis Morissette music holds a lot of significance for me because it’s part of my memories of my first love my true love. Love is a powerful feeling and beautiful too. Love is scary because it requires vulnerability. It requires not having any walls, how else would a person be able to feel it? People who have never experienced true love know nothing about why the people who do act the way that they do.

The other day I listened to the song called Torch, it is a fantastic song. Alanis wrote the song about her break up with Ryan Reynold. They had a serious relationship. Their relationship was five years long, and they got engaged. Talking about going from you oughta know to a torch mentality. Like Woah. The torch was written to help her get over their break up. Their breakup was mutual. She took the high road writing about everything that she loved and missed soldier yet on in such an elegant way. True love can get a person to reflect on the time that happened yet be able to wish the other person the best.

Afterall behaving negative wouldn’t bring back a relationship that ended. Does it hurt? Yes, it does. Letting a person go who you had all these dreams attached to like getting married and having children together, it’s a big jagged pill to swallow for sure. I was there myself before. Many couldn’t understand the reason why I did and felt the way that I did. I was in love with my first love, and I will always have a love for him. I have always wished him well and hoped that he received the love that he deserved. Sometimes true love can happen at the wrong time my mother was dying of cancer at the time. I had so much responsibility at the time.

Torch taught me that I was always on the right track even many years ago. Most people don’t realize what real love requires. I am just thankful that I experienced true love at least once in my life. If I never do, again, it’s alright. I have once carried a torch, have laid it down, and have no hope of relighting aka rekindling anything. Betty White turned 97 years old the other day, and she said something so profound she said, “Enjoy life,” Accentuate the positive, not the negative. It sounds so trite, but a lot of people will pick out something to complain about, rather than say, Hey, that was great! It’s not hard to find great stuff if you look.” The best advice about life ever!

Autumn 2018

Autumn is my favorite season. I love the colored leaves, candy corn, and pumpkin spiced coffee!

When I was young once the month of September would roll around I got excited because it wouldn’t be too much longer before Autumn would begin.

Growing up my house had a big back and front yard. My mother would say “Tameeka grab some garbage bags and rake the yard.” I didn’t enjoy raking up all the leaves that fell though. One Autumn a hurricane came and knocked the tree down that dropped all the leaves in the yard. No one was hurt but I was thankful that the tree was gone because I didn’t have to rake leaves anymore!

This year Autumn begins on September 22th. I am super ecstatic!

September Sun

It’s no secret how much that I love Type O Negative. The 90s rocked and Type O Negative made it happen. I was debating which song I wanted to share it was a tie between Love You to Death and September Sun. Well it’s September so it’s obvious which song won. Check out the lyrics:

September Sun
Type O Negative
The album’s second single, which was cut down from over nine minutes to under five for radio.
September sun, glowing golden hair
Now keep in mind, son: she was never there
October’s rust bisecting black storm clouds
Only the deaf hear my silent shouts

Yet in the dark, still he screams your name (Elizabeth!)
Nights living death with witch rhymes insane
Ten years amassed, para toda mi vida?
Lost man in time; was his name Peter?

September sun, rotted Flatbush porch
I would have run then, had I known the cost
Autumnal rays turned your eyes to stone
Did it give you pleasure to steal my soul?

Yet in the dark, still he screams your name (Elizabeth!)
Nights living death with witch rhymes insane
Ten years amassed, para toda mi vida?
Lost man in time; was his name Peter?

Leave her alone
I said leave her alone

Me? I know why

That Girl Is Poison

That girl is poison and I don’t mean it in a Bell Biv Devoe kind of way! Some people are just pain out poisonous they spread their venomous negativity everywhere.

Now everyone knows that I believe in judging people as individuals. Men too can be guilty of gossiping, backbiting, and being mean, sadly many women are known for doing these kinds of things.

I’ve said it before and I’ll it again, “Messengers have motives!” Beware of girls like these because they are not women. Grown women don’t find pleasure in hurting others. The closer the person is to the people that they are speaking against shows just how dangerous that they are. It’s best to stay away from these negative beings or they will rip you apart:

They have no positive feelings
I feel sorry for people like you
You feed off of negative vibes
Because you need them to survive
Spending most of your time
Coming up with ways
To make others feel bad
In order to make yourself feel
Good think about it
If bring up a person’s worst
Makes you feel at your best
Then what does that
Say about yourself
You enjoy stealing others’ thunder
By throwing them under a bus
Man negative beings
Are dangerous
You like to rattle people’s cages
Rain on other’s parade
Pull rank on somebody
The thing is you
Don’t know where
To draw the line
So you have no loyalty
To nobody
Soon you won’t
Have anybody
You will feel others pain
Your negative thinking
Has no power over me
It all means nothing
Therefore I am not bothered
By your negativity
So grab up a chair
At your buffet of hate
All you can eat
But your poison
Will not defeat me
With my positive thinking
I cannot be beat
Even in your wildest dreams
So give it your best
Meanwhile I am going
To have Van Gogh’s ear for music
All the ill words that blows
From you don’t you
Understand that karma
Will eventually find you
I suggest that you change
Your wicked behavior and
Stop giving in
Willingly to the devil
Don’t let it take
You reaping what you
Have sown
In order for you
To grow up

My Blog

The whole reason why I have a blog is to express myself freely. I will never become a famous blogger nor do I want to be.

My blog is a hobby. As I have wrote before I am a very relaxed writer. It’s what I do because I can.

I’m a college student and I get mostly A’s on my assignments.
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I consider myself to be a smart lady. I have no time for trolls or the grammar police. Regardless I’m going to keep doing what I do. More than likely the trolls that come for me don’t even have a bachelor’s degree probably barely have a G.E.D because they didn’t finish high school. Sweep around your own front door before you sweep around mine.

My Weight Loss Journey

I finally feel comfortable talking about my weight loss journey. There is nothing sexy about obesity, as a matter of fact it’s a life-threatening situation.

Most of the people on my mother’s side of the family has an issue with weight so genetics plays a role in my struggle. A few years ago I lost 170 pounds. Yes. You heard right. I did not have weight loss surgery. I lost the weight by walking and watching what I ate.

I am a emotional eater. Emotional eating is done in order to deal with negative situations. Unfortunately,I ended up gaining a lot of my weight back. I tried being a vegan but that didn’t work. Every diet or lifestyle isn’t for everyone which is why there are so many different diets.

Recently, I discovered the ketogenic diet and it has changed my life completely! I am getting closer to the weight that I was when I first lost all the weight the last time. Thank You Father God! Yes, I love who I am on the inside but the outside matters as well. There is nothing cute about being a fat girl!
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I will definitely be blogging more about my weight loss journey. When we make our minds up about a goal anything is possible! I am beyond the moon proud of my body transformation. Now I am back to being in a really happy place again.

Unity

With every course that I take, there is something that sticks out to me that gets me to thinking. Multicultural alliance is so important. Different people have a way of thinking and doing things differently. Cross-cultural communication is so important it helps people to become intuitive and sensitive to others, which helps with interacting. Communication helps with understanding others. It’s also should be understood that individualistic and collectivistic cultures differ too primarily in a negative sense. I can’t stand when a person wants to lump a whole group of people together based on a bad experience with one person, which is why I say some about certain people and not all.

I watched an interview that Phil Anselmo did; he is the former lead singer of Pantera. Some people call him a racist because of comments that he made in the past. He spoke of how he was an angry insolent child. He has gotten older and has matured. I know of racist people, and they later changed. I’m not saying that he ever was. I do know that skinheads and the KKK seek children who are angry and hurt to direct those emotions towards people of different races. Remember the movie American History X?

I saw a post that was so hateful it spoke about how the black people of today could never measure up to the black people of the 60s. I agree to a certain extent. The black people of today are strangers to the importance of unity. Not unity within the black community only but across racial lines. Some of the black people of today are tearing down the hard work that was done in the 60s.

There were some things that I did not agree with when Obama was in the office, but I did admire how his cabinet was multicultural. He understood the importance of people from every culture. People from all walks of life can offer some sound advice because sometimes the most valuable lesson is the kind that isn’t taken. I refuse to let that happen. I don’t want to miss a thing.

I have a post about sisterhood, and I consider my few friends as sisters. My friends are of different races. I am black, and I don’t have anything against some black women just the ones who makes everything a competition it’s not that serious. We as people, can sometimes be our enemies, and it is for no reason. For example, if more black women choose to date outside of their race, that’s great. What difference does it make if or when people come around? As long as they are doing better. Do you want to see one another succeed? Or is it about getting into a person’s business to use them as a case study? There was a time when we all thought differently about so many things. So why not extend the courtesy of understanding to others? We know more now then we did ten years ago and so on. Come on. And why does everything have to be about who idea was first George Washington Carver made peanut butter but do you think people think about that when they are eating Skippy or Jif. The first computer was established in 1946 but do you think the people on an apple computer thinks of that. Self-centeredness and self-absorbed people grind my gears!!!

My whole point is nothing positive comes from hate or division even if some don’t want to admit it. Unity stays in my vision.

I Just Don’t Know How to Feel

I feel like the U2 song called Numb
I have a bland demeanor
I just don’t know how to feel
I wrote a post
The other day
Was it God preparing me
I spoke about
The importance of being healthy
Then boom one of my sisters
That is second to me in my family
Became sickly
My sister and I
Have very different personalities
We are not any different
Than any other siblings
She would push me
To the point where
I would scream
Then things would really get ugly
The next thing you know
We stop speaking
To each other
This last time was unique
Because when I spoke
Back to my sister
She had a surgery
That changed everything
It brought on an
Illness that made her so weak
That it robbed
Her of her speech and mobility
My sister told me
That she had a vision
Of all of her sisters
When we were young
In the backyard playing
Then she gave me an apology
She said I’m sorry
That I have been so mean
I love you with all of my heart
Then she started crying
And asked God
Why are You punishing me?
I think about Christianity
Christians are still
Human beings
Is it right
For us to except
People being mean?
I always try
To be forgiving
I feel so torn
Do I stand up
And demand respect
For all the times
She made me upset
Or do I allow
This situation to teach me
To not waste time
On stupid things
Because time is the most
Valuable thing that you can
Share with someone
That you love deeply
I love my sisters
So much I just
Want us to live to be elderly
I just want us to live carefree
I just want us to be happy
Father God in Heaven
Please allow my prayers
To be
My heart can’t take
Anymore agony

Eyes Wide Open

I’ve been so meaning to write about this for over a week now. I am not into celebrity news, but I have written about Ciara a couple of times. Ciara changed her choice of men and found her king. Yes. He is a king because he serves God almighty.

In the past, Ciara dated rappers Future and Slim Thug. Recently Slim Thug accused Ciara of marrying the Seahawk’s quarterback Russell Wilson for financial stability. Which goes right back to my post from yesterday about how some black men waste good years on things that don’t matter. Slim Thug further went on to call Russell Wilson “corny.” To guys like Slim Thug being a Christian, a one woman’s man and responsible is corny. This proves what I have been saying all along about the shortage of quality black men.

Slim Thug also said that women who date bad boys couldn’t date good guys. How much sense does that make? Remember the saying about kissing toads until finding a prince, making wrong turns before making the right one or experience is the best teacher. We are not our past; some people refuse to allow people to be happy. Another thing what are bad boys about? So because they don’t want to change the women who date them doesn’t deserve better? Is he saying that bad guys aren’t about anything or that they can’t change? Many questions can come from what Slim Thug is saying, and they aren’t good ones. Words are like a boomerang when you throw them at others; they come back.

As we get older we realize what’s important and what’s not. Sadly some people never get it and they never mature. I love Ciara response to all of her haters and butt hurt exes:
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Being cool isn’t having children all over the place that are not receiving hands-on parenting, sleeping around, or hanging out in the streets wasting time.

Some people don’t want to change for the better and get jealous of the people who do. These same people will attempt to instill fear into others or destroy their happiness. They have wasted so much time until they don’t have a enough to make up for what’s lost. Life is too short to be in struggle love or poverty. There is more to life, and it isn’t just heartbreak or paying for poor choices. When we learn from our mistakes, our growth is our reward, and we reap a harvest that is plentiful. The people who don’t want to learn this life lesson are just plain pitiful.
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