Lifestyle

A Personality Like Mine

I have to say that I am pretty proud of my personality. Some of the words that I would use to describe my personality are calm, balanced, compassionate, creative, loving, etc. My personality is more conscientiousness even though I feel that it can’t be narrowed down to one label. As much as I enjoy my personality, I am aware of my weaknesses or negative parts of it. However, with me knowing about the negative parts of my personality that can help me to work on what I need to.

Here is a little bit about my background; this will help to get a better understanding of my personality. I am the oldest of four girls. All of my life, I have had an enormous amount of responsibilities to handle it never bothered me. I am thinking because of my personality; my mother felt that I was capable of handling doing every task assigned. Examples of my jobs come home from school do my homework, walk to go pick up my sisters up from school, cook dinner, and wash clothes. I have a dominant personality; yet not overbearing. I do not allow myself to be a pushover and I did not give in to peer pressure.

As a teenager, I was very mature. At one point, while growing up, the teen pregnancy was high. It seemed like everywhere that I turned someone that I knew was pregnant. In my family, some relatives were having babies early as well. My first child was born when I was in my late twenties. There is a lot of peer pressure for teens sex, drugs, and drinking, to name a few rights to this very day. Teenagers have it hard going through puberty and then having to try to fit in.  Some people give in to peer pressure, especially teenagers they are not very strong-minded. I have a best friend she is like the life of the party everywhere that she goes. The mindset that she has is” you only live once” she does whatever makes her feel good. There is nothing wrong with having a mindset like my friend’s but that is not right for me to each their own.

Social class to me is like high school mentality to me; it’s all about being accepted socially by a particular group. Example, a poor person, cannot get in a country club unless they have a rich person that belongs to the club. The poor person can get connections through their rich friend. It’s all about the secret handshake, and I want no parts of that. Peers are the same way no matter the location I don’t care if a high school is in an affluent neighborhood, middle-class neighborhood, or lower class neighborhood there will be certain groups that only accept a certain kind of people. It sucks royally. The groups of people that are in every high school are the popular kids, the smart kids, the sporty kids, the troublesome kids aka bullies and the odd kids no matter how much time passes it’s always the same. The social class and peers have the least influence on my personality.

I was brought up in a Christian household; the way that I live my life is according to the Bible. I live for God and not for the acceptance of man. The Bible says “that we cannot serve two masters” Human beings are fair weathered one day they like you and one day they hate you. When I take a look around at society, there is no structure; nothing is stable based on the mindset. People do whatever they want without regards, whether it can affect someone else. It’s like they have a sense of entitlement. My Christian values influence my personality tremendously; I treat people like the way I would like to be treated. I want to be a bright light in a sometimes very negative dark world. I think about the consequences of my actions before making a move. The personality factors that apply to me the most are family, culture, and genetic determinants. I have explained how family and culture influence my personality. I also believe that genes are a factor as well; I get a lot of who I am from my mother she and I were always very close. The relationship between my mother and I was so great because our personalities were a lot alike. My mother and I looked very much alike, as well.

One personality factor aspect that doesn’t explain my personality entirely is environmental determinants. The personality that I have is not affected by the environment around me. I can be in a negative situation and will remain positive as well as upbeat. My belief is if the environment negatively affects people, then change it. I cannot think of a time when the environment made my personality change, especially not in a negative way.

I want to gain a better understanding of my personality because I want to be the best me that I can be. Right now, I am taking forensic psychology, but I would like to receive a master’s degree in counseling. My calling is to prepare couples for marriage and counseling during the marriage. The advice that I am going to do will be Christian based of course; however, even with that being said, a specific type of personality is required. In my opinion, there is a lot about my personality that prepares me for my career. A counselor has to be tolerant, supportive, empathetic, patient, and intuitive to name a few things.

Love Yourself

Just wanted to make it clear that self-love and being a lover of self isn’t the same. Self-love is positive; it’s feeling good about yourself self acceptance. Lover of self is negative; it has a self-centered attitude, being vain, and narcissistic.

All human eyes have the structure of the pupil, cornea, and iris, etc. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are all attractive to some people, and we are all not so appealing to others. Don’t ever take it personally and don’t allow anyone to come for your self-esteem. It is what it is. In my opinion, it’s just a way that helps to eliminate the wrong people from out of our lives. Which is one of the biggest reasons why we shouldn’t put the power of boosting our self-esteem into the hands of others it could become abused easily. Besides, our worth isn’t based on the validation of others.

It’s essential to be our best selves above anything else. For most of us, there is only one of us unless we have a twin, which is rare. We should take care of ourselves by eating right and exercising and making sure that we are getting the proper sleep. Learning to not stress behind things that cannot be controlled one way or another thing always work out. Words are powerful; it’s so essential to speak positivity into your life. Be a positive person so that you become quick to uplift others. Make improvements daily. Do some traveling. Do something that you haven’t done before if you have been attracting the wrong people or making the wrong choices figure out why by digging deep into yourself. Make it a point to break the monotony of reliving the same situations over and over again. Make decisions that will have the repercussions of reaping a blessed harvest. Never forget that many of our choices affect our future and sometimes our children’s future as well.

Remember people who attempt to tug at your self-esteem and self-confidence aren’t worth entertaining. It’s great to be opened to constructive criticism beware of serial critics. A person who truly cares will bring out the best in you, not the worse. Best friends aren’t jealous. True sisterhood doesn’t dox or drain one another’s souls. We will know people by their fruits. Actions speak louder than words.

I have experienced a lot in my life, and the advice that I give comes from a place of growth, not from bitterness. I have healed, and I want to help others to get healed as well. Being a realist doesn’t necessarily make a person negative it’s not what’s said but how and why. Honesty isn’t always going to come in a present that is wrapped in a pretty bow, especially when it comes to looking at ourselves. Even though we can sometimes be our worst critics, it’s a sign of growth to be able to evaluate ourselves. We know ourselves the best, and obviously, we have our best interest in mind after all it’s our lives. To become our best selves, we must realize when we are not. Being honest with ourselves is the best sign of loving ourselves without having to rely on others opinions.

Example of loving yourself is being mindful of who we accept advice from and being opened to receive it. Example some people believe that only happily married people are the only ones who can give great information about marriage and that is the furthest thing from the truth. A person from a failed marriage can talk about where things went wrong. Happily married people also went through things too, but they chose to stick it out for various reasons. Different situations happen to different people; all advice doesn’t apply. Everyone isn’t right, and everyone isn’t wrong. I have learned that great help can come from anyone don’t reject it based on who it’s coming from when you can tell that they mean well. When people don’t mean well, you’ll be able to know because you can feel their negative vibes. Negative energy is unmistakable, and life is too short for that. So make it a point to keep your space a negative opinion-free zone and get your shine on.

Imagine what could happen once we tap into ourselves and discover our hidden potential to be great it can only happen once we accept and love ourselves. love-yourself1

The In-Crowd

I absolutely have no desire
To be apart of
The in crowd
Confident people do not
Give a fudge
When they say that
You can’t sit with us
Oh boo hoo
Jocks, cool kids, mean girls
We all know about these groups they
Ruled the yearbook
Yet these kids
Are all a part of the
Adolescent clique
In some
Kind of capacity these
Group of kids become bullies
Precursors of adults
Who still possess
Middle and high school mentalities
Constantly reminiscing about
Their former popularity
In which I am immune to
I never was one whose desire was
To be a popular kid in school
It’s like being in a
Zombie apocalypse
Surrounded around a bunch
Of brain dead people
Who are unable to think
For themselves
Who relies heavily on
Group thinking,
Group dependency,
And group acceptancy
It’s not welcome to
To do anything differently
Or people will experience
Tribal shaming
It’s like a sorority for
Pettiness that doesn’t exist
At any university or college
The scariest thing about it is
They think that
They are individualistic
When they are actually
Apart of the collective
How sad is that
I love me some me
Because I have always felt free
Embracing what makes me unique
Secure in my individuality
And that is amazing
Some people spend most
Of their lives
Trying to figure out
Who they are
But most of it is due
To them giving into peer pressure
When they were very young
And fear of their insecurities
Afraid to be themselves
Afraid to be rejected
Afraid of not being able to
Be apart of the secret group
To be apart of the in crowd
Or maybe it’s a cult
Which is a serious problem
Sometimes wanting to be accepted
By a certain kind of people
So badly
Will cost you something
Like losing your identity
Becoming a carbon copy
Or a string of cut out dolls
Until something goes wrong
Then the in crowd will turn
Into an angry mob
Eventually betraying
You with a Judas kiss
On the outside you will sit
People like this don’t
Stand for anything
Which is why they always
Turn on one another
I have witnessed
This kind of behavior
For years
If this is what it’s
Like being apart of the in crowd
Then I am so glad
That I have never been apart of it

Three Years Strong

Hooray!!! Happy Birthday to Be Lifted.

Ever since I was young I loved to write. I remember the day that I decided to become a blogger. It seems almost like yesterday when I started my blog. It’s my blog that consists of my thoughts, poetry, diet lifestyles, and choices of music.

Three years later Be Lifted is still going strong. I look forward to many more years of blogging.

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My Idea of Love

First and foremost
Love has no color
In my eyes
If anything
We only deprive
Ourselves of
The endless possibilities
By limiting ourselves
Because we are afraid
To think outside
Of the box
Which has nothing
To do with preferences
Let’s be clear
It all boils
Down to fear
Why not step
Beyond our comfort zone
We become free to fly
High and broaden our horizons
We find out that
There is a whole
New world
To explore
That will embrace
Us and give
Us what we deserve
And a lot more
What a treasure
When we realize
That we can
Have better
We begin to change
We begin to grow
We become less hard
We feel more safe
In our womanhood
Understanding that we
Can be tough as nails
Or soft as Daffodils
There is something about
Being a confident lady
Where we feel safe
It changes things
We owe it to ourselves
To see what’s
Out in the world
To stop questioning
Our worth
Because our past relationship
Choices showed it
Our name is not
The United Way,
Salvation Army,
Or Goodwill
We are not
Charity cases
Therefore no one
Should expect to
Come into our worlds
All while displaying
Very little effort
We deserve more
Than lazy daters
We deserve more
Than deadbeat fathers
Who have multiple
Children mothers
All of which they
Have zero thoughts about
Life is so short
Each passing day that goes by
Should consist
Of choices
That reflects realistic
Plans that were thought out
We are better
Than spontaneous decisions
Unless we are traveling
Around the world
Having a priceless worth
If not it will
Be our future
That will be hurt
The right mentality
Will attract the right people
Who are destined to
Be in our lives
But it can’t happen
Without being open
To change
And valuing who we are
We are courageous
We are radiate
We are brilliant
We are a gift
Anyone who says or thinks different
Is out of place
It’s our life
People who wants to
Bring us down shouldn’t be in it
It’s our choice
People who express negative
Is the opposite of positive
They do not serve a purpose
So let them go their way
As we keep shining
Being a beacon light
For true love to find us

Thicker than a Snickers

If you came up in the 90s, you might be familiar with the phrase thicker than a snicker. Someone may get mad with me, but the line between thick and obesity is wider than most choose to believe. Literally. It’s time to become more health conscious. I have been on both sides of the fence, which is why I know that it’s more to it for most people who struggle with weight. It’s more like what is it that is eating the person. I’m an emotional eater. Once I realized what was going on, I was able to work on the problem.

Some men tell women that they want them to be thicker than snickers but complain when they become big as a brick house. Look I want to be healthy, and that’s the way that I am staying. Most of my family have the battled of the bulge. I am not shallow; it’s about my health. Some black women do care about being fit because they want to be healthy. Thankful for the Keto diet, it has changed my life.

Daily, I see some men who claim that they are not concerned about a woman’s weight when they should be. Women should look at men who say that they don’t care about her size. I mean, what man wouldn’t want his lady to be healthy? Obesity is the leading cause of high blood pressure and diabetes. Less than truthful men disgust me because honesty is what’s best. Being fit helps with not just being content with life but living well and living it to the fullest. Plus size clothing isn’t the only complaint, but it’s one of them they don’t fit well and let’s not start on the different color patterns. Not downing anyone, it’s hard to lose weight and keep it off. Losing weight helps with not just our physical state but our mental state as well.

Not a Bobblehead

Society had become so sensitive from when I grew up that Christmas songs are no longer fun anymore. Social media has made it easier for people to beef about stupid things. The stupidity leak is real, and I can’t deal. If there is one thing that culture class has taught me is that we all can learn something from someone else. Some people think that they know everything and don’t need to learn anything else. In life, we must understand that people will not always agree with us or think like us. The only people who we can control are ourselves no one else. We have to learn how to agree to disagree. Heck. Our enemies can have things to offer at times because they may tell us something that a friend or family member may be too afraid to say.

I don’t want to align myself with a bunch of yes men/women. I want people who will tell me when I’m wrong. Shoot! Help me don’t hurt me by holding back information that I need to hear. I’m not a person that’s hard to communicate with. If I ask a person for their opinion, I’m open to the response. I don’t want to control a person’s opinion. I’ll only hurt myself in the long run.

I’m not an airhead. I’m not a bobblehead. I think the way that I choose. I use to feel not so brave about sharing the way that I thought, but now I embrace my thought process. I’m secure about who I am, which is why I don’t take it personally if a person doesn’t agree with me. There are Republicans and Democrats who see politics differently. There are the prosecution and the defense which look at the same case in different ways. Not being able to look at situations from a different perspective can make a person closed-minded.

Leave It in the Past

Year after year goes by
And people tell themselves
That things will be different
This time
They make a new year’s resolution
As if it’s a magic potion or
An automatic solution
For whatever the problem may be
Still everything in life
Isn’t that easy
Some things are just
Too painful
When a person tells
You to leave things
In the past
Depending on what it is
It’s a sign of them
Having a lack of compassion
Or attempting to not deal
With a situation
Some situations have to be
Dealt with
Because they aren’t avoidable
One shouldn’t consider
Themselves a Christian
Is they have no empathy
For others
No one sat in school
And told the social studies teacher
To leave history
In the past
Or they would have failed
History class
Have they not heard
Of the saying
Those who don’t learn
For the past are
Doomed to repeat it
If certain situations
Are dealt with
How could it be left
In the past
The healing process
Can never began
Without acknowledging mistakes
That have caused pain
Things can’t just be
Swept under a rug
Try having understand
Before speaking as if
You do
Or you will only
Become part of the monster
Of a person’s past
Simply because you are
Trying to get past
A situation that you don’t
Want to deal with
Or don’t care about
Maybe because
It’s not you
Trying saying those
Words to a domestic violence survivor
Or family member
Of a murder victim
Be part of the solution
Not the salt being applied
To an already severe wound

It is Better to Have Loved

Growing up my mind was consumed
Of dreams of having a house
With a white picket fence
Stories of
Cinderella and Snow White
That consisted of highlights of a kiss given
That broke a horrible spell
Or being set free
From the bondage
Of an ungrateful wicked family
Who happiness
Was a beauty’s misery
Still the endings
Were always ones of
Happily ever afters
Then I grew up
And realised
That real love isn’t
A fairy tale
That true love
Sometimes consists of
Having an understanding
That a special moment
Is sometimes all that we are
Blessed to have
It could be the right person
But the wrong time
It could be the right time
But the wrong person
They may not be in a position
To give what is required
Even holding on
For longer than
We should can have long lasting
Consequences
I am not saying that
Having love isn’t important
Because it is
Love alone isn’t always enough
Is all that I am saying
Love is beautiful
Being in love is amazing
Even more so
When it’s mutual
When the love is true
The love is without boundaries
It’s given completely
Unapologetically
Free of the fear
Of being vulnerable
Not concerned about
Who loves who the most
Because true love is
Immeasurable
It’s a true treasure
With the heavy appraisal tag worth
Of being accountable and responsible
In order for things to work
Being prepared
For the possible
Finality of a relationship
That’s the reality of life
It’s loving a person enough
To let them go
Even though it
Was something
That we never dreamt of doing
It’s always wishing
Them well no matter what
The outcome is
If the feeling is the opposite
Then perhaps it wasn’t
Real love to begin with
True love isn’t selfish
It’s being totally committed
It’s being selfless
Real love, true love
Isn’t a fairy tale
Just by our judgment and actions alone
When we are in love
Shows that it’s not easy to
Create or imagine
It’s raw and not simple
Love doesn’t guarantee
That people won’t get hurt
Still as the famous
Quote goes
It is better to have loved
And lost than never to
Have loved at all

What’s Tameeka Listening To?

Loving the soundtrack for the movie “Prime”. I am listening to the song “I wish you love”. I dedicate this song to my first love. The words to this song are everything because they are so on point.

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love
And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health, and more than wealth,
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So, with my best, my very best
I set you free
I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all, when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So, with my best, my very best
I set you free
I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all, when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
But most of all, when snowflakes fall
I wish you love