Black women

Go Ahead

It never ceases to amaze me. The moment I share that I enjoy heavy metal a pop quiz always follows with a continuation of questionnaires. How long have you been listening to metal? I was talking about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the person was like, what is the leader of the band’s name? Like really dude? If it was hip-hop would I be given the third degree? Geez, I didn’t know that listening to certain music came with stipulations.

When some black people find out they swear that I don’t listen to metal. Whatever dude. Black people were the pioneers of rock music, so get over it. I am a black woman who enjoys listening to heavy metal and I am Not alone. I try not to get triggered but I just hate labels. Labels suck!!! Don’t place them on me!
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I have been listening to heavy metal every since I was really young. Pantera, Korn, Arch Enemy, In this moment, new metal and old I am very knowledgeable. My love for music is genuine.

Half Baked

There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them.” I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.

The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times, the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him, and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.

The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior, even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man and not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes, so they weren’t taught about their worth.

No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction, and so people want to leave it behind, which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of effect everyone in some way, shape, or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only; it ends up affecting a lot of innocent people — just something to think about.

All parents have to do their part to ensure that their wrong parenting decisions don’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get, they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so, they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or they are rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.

Somewhere along the way in the past, people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children, scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues and choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.

Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents, we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make hasty decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s essential that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.

When is Enough, Enough?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that “there comes a time when silence is a betrayal.” When is enough, enough? When is it best to be silent? When is it time to speak up? I started my blog to talk about the things that people think about but choose not to talk about for whatever reason.

Let me start by saying this; it doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic or Whatever a person believes in!!! It’s a person’s right to believe what they choose!!! My point is that Everyone has been tested about when to speak and when to be silent.

God asked Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let His People go. God had given Pharaoh many chances before sending many plagues and even the death of his son. However, Pharaoh was still stubborn. God asked Moses to speak. Guess who was attempting to stop Moses from speaking? It was Moses. Moses was afraid of speaking up. There have been many stories in the Bible, where God asked people to speak up.

If God calls on a Christian to speak, they had better do it; unless that Christian wants to end up in the belly of a whale. So no, God does not expect a Christian to be quiet all the time and to turn the other cheek. God has asked people to act, and that included speaking up.

There have been times when I was going to tell people my story, but God told me not to say anything and that my time for sharing my story is coming. How do I know that God told me not to say anything? He gave me confirmation. One of my Facebook friends tagged me in a post the following day of me contemplating on sharing my story. The post said, “Life is meant to be Lived. Fear is not an option when you know you were sent to Fly. Understand your Power; know that you are Greatness.” This lady is on fire for God and did not know what was on my mind. God had her relay a message. God told her to reach out to me. God told her to speak. So you see God has proven His existence to me time and time again.

Earth is not Heaven, so everyone isn’t going to be good, but Earth isn’t hell either we still experience the beauty of flowers, butterflies, blue skies and cool breezes. I understand that there are some people here on Earth who has made our lives to be almost unbearable. But God will have our backs, and He does have us speak. Yes, we are living in a society regardless of who they choose to follow for guidance, who are treacherous. Understand these jealous people who are our enemies study us more than they did for a test in school. Why? Because they see things that we don’t positive things that may threaten them. So they want to attack our character or try to attempt to have others question things. Some of our enemies pretend to know so much about us and know nothing at all. This can and has happened to anyone.

If we encounter or are in the company of people who try to silence us, we have to let them go. I refuse to need deep in scalding hot water and claim that I am shivering to make others happy. No, I am not making people comfortable, so they don’t have to deal with my pain. People who genuinely care won’t expect us to suffer in silence. Life is too short not to speak up to avoid confrontation. Because guess what? At times confrontation is necessary. Escapism is a temptation because it’s an easy fix.

I have had some Christians come after me and judge especially about the kinds of music that I listen to. I have had non-Christians judge me too claiming to be all open-minded and their minds be more narrow than the side of a ruler. Encouraging people to speak but doubt everything they shared with them (behind their backs of course). People don’t feel safe enough to share their stories, especially with people who will claim it isn’t true, which makes them seems like nosy people. Nosy people pretend to care to gain information. So we all have to be careful about sharing our life journey.

Bottom line confrontation is always going to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we will have people tell us to be quiet even when the writing is on the wall. If it doesn’t feel right, then we have to speak up. Sometimes being silent is Not the answer, especially in the face of adversary. Confrontation is necessary.

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days, some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it, and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person, they need to find out why it does. She is not a problem.

Sometimes people can’t win if you advise with no experience; it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot; I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity, so she has zero privacy; the public knows her past. However, some women aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a history. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. Some people agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible, Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could be the message that they need to give them hope.

Love International

Bravo has a new show that I am interested in called To Rome for Love. The show is about African American women who travel to another country to find love. I find this so refreshing because we get to see how different cultures interact in the dating world. The show will be exciting but I hope that it won’t contain too many stereotypes or too much drama. Praying that the show uses this opportunity to show African American women in a positive light. We can do without the unnecessary drama in order to grab ratings. It needs to be understood that many people don’t look at television shows as being fake some believe that there is a little truth in everything. I’m excited to see what happens with the show positive things; here’s hoping!!!

The Blame Game

I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better, and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women, but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.

I’m getting so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married, and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you; Casper the friendly ghost!!!
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Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions; we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone, even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ; He’s the one who brought my two children and me through every hardship.

Both black men and black women need to get it right; please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not; the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired, and no, I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out, and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!

Remember the Time

Oprah Winfrey made some amazing points when she accepted her Golden Globe Award. One of the things that she said was everyone has a story and for us to share it. With that being said I going to share MY STORY because it’s mine ALONE!!! No one knows MY LIFE STORY better than me except God almighty. Anyone who attempts to lessen my story has a motive and it’s an evil one. I am me and I am Not caring about who accepts me or not. I know what my hobbies are. I know what kinds of music that I love and how long that I have been listening to it. And most importantly I know who I am attracted and how long it’s been.

I have been listening to heavy metal when it was unheard of. My mother brought me shirts with heavy metal bands on them. In the 80s people used to write on their jeans mine had the name of metal bands on them. I had my walled plastered with all kinds of musicians including heavy metal bands.

It’s comical how some people think they know your history but really they don’t. Interracial dating is becoming more common between white men and black women. I have always been attracted to white men my first serious boyfriend was white. My first boyfriend brought me a car and we put stickers of heavy metal bands all over it. One time while my boyfriend at the time was out to sea my sister asked for a ride and a cop pulled me over for gp. Here I am a black woman with braids driving a car with heavy metal stickers on it in the early 90s. My sister can back me up on this story as well as a few others.

Interracial dating between white men and black women is really nothing new; it’s just becoming more common now. Some people act like it’s a big discovery like Columbus claiming America when Leif Erikson had already been there and done that. Facts!!!!! There are more books, movies, television shows, and groups that promotes interracial dating but they wasn’t around when I was dating outside of my race.

Now there are people who be like why are people being so vocal about interracial dating between white men and black women? Well because it’s still not really accepted and in order for couples to make it support is needed. It’s not easy to date interracial; it’s hard now and it was even harder when I first started dating outside of my race. I remember one time when my white boyfriend at the time and I was holding hands walking through the mall together when a large group of black males attempted to walk between us to get us to stop holding hands. I told him to ignore them because they would have tired to just him and me. I wouldn’t stood there and allow anyone to hurt him.

I am so excited that more and more people are following their hearts and being who they are. I rather for people to think I am strange than to Not be free because I am afraid of what people think of me. I am going to listen to the music that I enjoy and love who I want to love whether they have my skin color or not.

Pink Metal Head

I have to start by saying that I am stoked!!! Here on be lifted I talk about the things that we think about, but they spoke about. I have shared about my love for heavy metal mind you that I listen to all music; however, rock/heavy metal is my favorite. Ever since I was young, I have loved heavy metal!!! I grew up in a time where a black girl listening to heavy metal was unheard of, and I’m thankful that my mother allowed me to be free to listen to what I wanted to. It was no secret about my love for heavy metal. The first song that had me hooked on rock music was AC/DC “You Shook Me All Night Long,” which came out in 1980, the video was very cool. When Nine Inch Nails first came out in 1989 with “Head Like a Hole” I was hooked, and I have been a fan of their’s ever since. Trent Reznor and I both share the same birthday, May 17th baby!! Type O Negative has made an impact on me, and I love the band so much.

The reason why I bring up my love for heavy metal/rock music is that recently I came across a young black lady who loves heavy metal as I do. The you tuber’s name is pink metal head, and she’s 21 years old. It’s so refreshing to see young black ladies owning their identity unapologetically. She did share that there have been people who try to match a person’s race to music. Example that black people listen to hip hop and r & b only and that white people listen to heavy metal/ rock music only. The stereotypes seriously have got to go. Things had gotten a lot better from when I was growing up. Seeing more and more young black ladies, as well as men, appreciate heavy metal chokes me up. I just had to blog about it.
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Both of my sons listens to heavy metal/rock music; my youngest listens to everything that I do. My youngest son’s favorite bands are Metallica and Danzig. His favorite song by Metallica is “One,” and his favorite song by Danzig is “Mother.” Today my youngest and I was jamming to Pantera, Megadeath, White Zombie, Type O Negative, Metallica and the list goes on and on. With the younger generations tastes in music becoming more diverse, it’s the best feeling on Earth. I want to tell the youth of today that music transcends racial boundaries if you want to listen to country music go ahead I love Darius Rucker. I have been a fan of Darius Rucker every since he was the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. If you love hip hop and R & B, listen to it and if you love heavy metal/rock music, then jam on. If you love all music as I do, that’s great too. Whatever music that you choose to listen to, please do as long as you are you. Even our choices of music say a lot about who we are so doing what makes you happy as long as it isn’t hurting anybody. I’m proud of the upcoming heavy metal generation; it’s becoming more colorful; which is excellent.
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Does Every Kiss Really Begin With Kay ?

Tis the season of engagements, Christmas is the time of year when people make it official the most. I have a post about love being more valuable than a ring. I also believe that it’s the thought that counts as well. If a millionaire gave a person a 20.00 engagement ring, would the person still receive a kiss? The other day I posted about how some black people attack others behind their opinions, and this situation isn’t any different. There was a lady on Facebook who made a video about the possible reason for all the recent engagements. Kay Jewelers has a sale of rings and earrings for 19.99. The lady said that she noticed a lot of women getting in engaged with these rings for 19.99. Maannn!!! This lady’s video has gone viral, and she’s a black lady by the way. The video has thousands of comments which many are abusive name calling and shaming this lady behind her opinion. It’s comical to me because I guarantee that the very people who claim that the price of a ring doesn’t matter would act entirely different if they were in that position. If a guy has on Jordan’s and owns an iPhone X or a Samsung Galaxy S8 and proposed with a 19.99 ring? Would they say yes? Somebody ain’t being truthful. The high divorce rates and low marriages rates within the black community say so.

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For the record, I think the jewelry looks very pretty. I believe love is more important than a ring; material things come and go. There have been families who have lost all their valuables in a fire or flood. My point is how the woman who made a video about her opinion went viral with over a million views. People are giving her all this attention to be mean to her, and it isn’t right. Differences of opinion are just Not accepted, and they are welcomed with insults. I wouldn’t be surprised or doubt it if I’m being bashed somewhere behind expressing my opinions and experiences. A group is trashing me. But that’s only supporting what I am saying. Yeah, I said it!!!!

Prince Harry and Meghan

In the month of September I wrote about national redhead day and I made a video as well. In the video that I made Prince Harry was featured. He seems to be a charismatic, intelligent, and very handsome man.

Prince Harry recently became engaged to Meghan Markle she’s the gorgeous actress from the television show Suits. I am so excited for this amazing couple and it’s not for the reasons you may think. There is a lot of pressure on Meghan and I don’t think people realize what she’s giving up to be with the man whom she loves.

In the year of 2017 when certain things should be at a minimum they are actually not. The seemed to be silent hidden voice of racism is now speaking loudly since the couples engagement. The issue of racism shows just how far behind the times some people are. Meghan is biracial and that is how she identifies herself rightfully so. Why does her race have to be added to the equation? There is enough pressure already, she knows what she’s made of. Everyone who reads my blog knows that I support interracial couples and love. I believe that love has no color and that people should be free to love whomever they please. I’m reading and seeing how some black people are calling this a big win and some white people are calling it a mistake but what no one is realizing is that this is one of the most biggest decision of these two people’s lives.

I feel that Meghan should be able to get married to Prince Harry without being reminded what race that she’s made of, her being married before or where she grew up. It’s not how you start it’s how you finish. I just wish these two incredibly awesome people well and everyone else should too.