I genuinely believe that our mindset single-handedly can be responsible for generational curses, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We have to love our children enough to not pass on pain of our past to them. The pain of our childhood doesn’t have to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Our strength should be our crutch and not our pain. We can overcome and endure the pain of our childhood.

Events like father’s day can bring a painful childhood to the surface. Believe me; I once knew the pain. I grew up in a broken home for a short amount of time. My father was very abusive to my mother, and so she left him.

When father’s day would roll around years ago, it stirred up the anger that was within me. I was very angry with my father not because he wasn’t in the household. He and my mother could not get along because he was extremely violent. My parent couldn’t live together, and that part I understood. I wasn’t angry because he wasn’t under the same roof. The angry stemmed from him not having contact with my sisters and me at all. It was incredibly selfish of him. He and I never got along because I always reminded him about how abusive he was. To be honest, I felt like he hated me, and it felt like we had no connection at all. I mostly felt bad for my middle sister because she never knew him at all. My mother stayed in contact with his aunt, so he had no excuse at all for abandoning his fatherly duties.

Once I became a mother myself, I realized the importance of having a father in a child’s life. There is no substitution for a father. Whether some people want to accept it or not, God has a design for how things should be. God did not intend for a mother to raise children alone. This is part of the reason for generational curses. The importance of fathers is being downplayed. It’s not okay. Daughters look at their single mothers and feel that they can do it too. Sons become fathers and are like I’ll let the mother do it, she can handle it. After all, my mother did it. Someone has to break the chain so that the pain will end or it will get passed on to the kids.

Until women and men realize the importance of the presence of a father, things can’t get better. Some mothers will continue to cut the fathers out of the children’s lives. Some fathers will be okay with being a deadbeat willingly. Most men and women are angry with their fathers, so let’s stop downplaying their role. A father teaches a daughter how she should be loved. A father teaches a son how to be a man. Fathers are daughters and sons heroes. Everything starts at home, how can children function productively in society when they came from a broken place?

It’s not fair for our children to inherit our pain. We should have children with men who understand the importance of setting consistent examples for their children. Being a great father takes more than the reason for their father being absent; it’s about having the courage to break the cycle.

I am a single mother, and I have been for years, but I am not a father. Just a friendly reminder single parents day is in March, mother’s day is in May, and father’s day is in June. It’s unfair to take way father’s day from the fathers who are going above and beyond. Some fathers have been in their children’s lives from birth up into adulthood. Yes, they do exist. There can be a more great father too all we have to do is let go of childhood hurt and change our mindset.

This is so true: