My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one have a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes, and I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Can’t Nobody Tell It Better Than Me

Diversity of thought allows a person to accept and respect what another person believes as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. I am a Christian, and I am proud of that. When I had no one, I had God. I can give testimony after testimony about what God did to save my children and I. Again; it was not a human. I understand that some people have had situations that occurred in their lives, where they question God. Some people are so angry at God that it has them blind. There are about 7.3 billion people in the world, and 2.3 billion are Christians. So 2.3 billion people are lost? This isn’t slavery time no one is getting beat over the head and forced to believe in Christ. People of different races are Christians. So, all of these people are just blind, and they believe in Christ for no reason? I don’t think so.

I have had things that have occurred in my life, and recently I found something else out. And I am not angry at God about it. God gave us all free will. He doesn’t force us to believe in Him or follow Him. Kind like us wanting people to love us for who we are and not for what we can do. Think about it like this some people don’t believe in God, but they all aren’t going to behave the same. Some will think of others, but a lot won’t even more so. Why? They lack structure, and that’s why they do whatever they want without a care in the world. They lack having a conscience. We can’t blame God for everything and especially not for the people who choose Not to follow Him. Of course, they will do evil things their flesh controls them Not God.

In my opinion, a person can’t allow God if they are full of themselves. The consequence of not following God is an angry person who has an appetite for destruction, which is why I am careful of what I allow into my spirit. Evil is Not Good. Evil likes to hide in the dark. Bad things happen in the dark. We can’t walk in the dark, which is why we turn on a light. But once the light is on, there is no place for evil or darkness to hide. Evil is Not of light. The saying goes, “what’s done in the dark comes out in the light” because bad things can hide in darkness — something to think about.

I am not telling all of my life’s story because it’s Not time yet. I will say this much my “father” hated me, he abused my mother, my sister and I, both of my sons (one is autistic) are by the same man who I was married to, we don’t get along, and I am a single mother. This is just the tip of the iceberg about my life. Some of the things that have happened in my life were bad choices that I made and Not God’s fault. Some of the worst chapters in my life happened when I wasn’t walking right with God. Every life has a story, and so does mine. All I know is that there has to be a God with all I have been through and continue to go through. I have overcome and endured!!! That’s how I know that God is real. Believe what you will, after all, we have free will. I choose to believe what the harm is in believing and having hope? Besides, I will not stop having faith, it’s the one thing that keeps me going When I Am About To Run Out Of Steam!!!

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days, some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it, and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person, they need to find out why it does. She is not a problem.

Sometimes people can’t win if you advise with no experience; it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot; I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity, so she has zero privacy; the public knows her past. However, some women aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a history. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. Some people agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible, Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could be the message that they need to give them hope.

Christ Like

The hardest thing in my life ever is my Christian walk. God is love, right? So why is walking with Christ so hard? Well I will tell you first of all it’s Not Christ that is the problem, it’s some of the people. Somewhere along the way, some Christians have gotten things mixed up somehow. What does a Christian’s walk look like? What should a Christian look like? What is Christ-like? I have been questioning this every since I decided to become more serious about my walk with Christ.

First and foremost, no two Christians’ walk is alike because no two people lives are the same. Every person on earth life has a story that can reach and touch certain people. Everyone has sinned. Everyone has won battles and are still fighting certain battles. One thing is for sure, regardless of a person’s life, what a person may have done or who they are, God can still use them. No one knows what God is doing in someone else’s life; remember Job in the Bible? Job “friends,” thought the troubles in his life was his fault, but it wasn’t.

We have to understand that we can know scripture back to front, we can say all the right things with the wrong heart, and it has no value. We have to stay in place of God’s love. God’s love is what leads a man to change to repentance. (Romans 2:4) I had a thought, and I may be wrong, but one of the most serious books in the Bible is Revelation. A lot of pastors don’t teach from it much, but why is it at the very end and not the first book? Chances are if a person read Revelation first, they probably would not want to read the rest of the Bible. Perhaps Revelation comes after all the other Books because every book prepares us and strengthens us for what’s to come.

Social media can be a great thing it gives people the ability to reach others with our opinions and information. However, social media also makes it easier for people to beat each other down. Some Christians become fixated on how they think a Christian walk should look like. We need not to be so quick to judge someone else’s walk when we have no idea what God is doing in that person’s life. Most importantly, no Christian should be afraid to shine a light in a dark place to reach others. No Christian should want only to reach people who look, think like them and have a little group because that’s not Christ like it’s cult-like. Know the difference. I am constantly growing in the Lord. Who am I to judge a person with tattoos, a drug user, or a promiscuous person? Who am I to try to tell Brian “Head” Welch about his walk with Christ? God is using Brian Welch is in a mighty way. I don’t know what God is doing in his life. No one can tell me what God is doing in my life either just because I listen to all kinds of music does not mean that God cannot and isn’t using me. I don’t know what God is doing in my life in the future, but I am ready for Him to use me.

Someone once said if you want to make God laugh tell Him the plans that you have for your life. After all, God knew us before we were born. (Jeremiah 1:5) God directs our paths (Proverbs 3:). To answer all my questions, I don’t know what a Christian walk looks like because I don’t know what God is doing in other people’s lives. If God was that easy to figure out why would we need Him? God ways and thinking are higher than ours. God loves us all and can save us all if we allow Him to. The last thing I ever want to do is be responsible for sending a person to hell because I turn them off from turning to Him based on my actions. If God can change me or anybody else why doubts what God can do in someone else’s life? Isn’t that placing limits on a limitless God we all need to be careful of how we treat other Christians and other people period. We all need to check our hearts constantly and love others always. We may be the only Christ that they see. Let’s help God to win souls and not lose them. God loves everyone. As Brian “Head” Welch said, “God told him to look at the crowd of fans that they were all of His Children and He wanted to save them all”. Didn’t Jesus change the woman at the well and the woman who was caught in adultery? Did Jesus judge the Pharisees about stoning the woman who was caught in adultery?

1 Corinthians 8:1
Now concerning things offered to idols: We know that we all know. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.

Rejection is a Blessing

Rejection is a blessing!!! When I was younger rejection used to bother me, then I realized it’s their loss, not mine. Everyone isn’t going to like me, and I am okay with that. I was watching a You-Tube video, and the lady made some fantastic points about not being the collective of black people. I have felt this way all of my life, I listen to all kinds of music, and I think a completely different way for sure. She spoke of how her people who are black people have been the cruelest towards her, and it wasn’t the other races of people. I can testify about what she said. This used to bother me, but I have since embraced who I am. I go where I am appreciated. I am thrilled because I feel free, and that’s a blessing. I will not hide my feelings, likes, or dislikes if people don’t like who I am then goodbye. It means our time has expired and I am good trust me on this!!!! Everything happens for a reason, and some people are for a season.

I have written posts about being honest about what’s going on within the black community. The numbers don’t lie, and it’s not wrong information. Some people don’t want to face the truth, which means they are not ready to change the community. We have to be honest about the problems that are in the black community. If you speak about what’s wrong in the black community, you will get attacked. People will be on you quicker than Clark Kent can find a phone booth and change into Superman. Instead of using google to stalk people or attempt to “expose others” how about using it to find out about the black babies being born out of wedlock, high divorce, and low marriage rates if that doesn’t make you want to promote positive changes I’m not sure what will. Change within the black community can’t come by blaming the white race for why the community is the way that it is when we are setting today’s trend of negativity and damage. I don’t want to hear about Andrew Jackson with slaves and being on the money. Can we get up to date Harriet Tubman is on the front of the money Andrew Jackson is on the back….like how slavery is back in the day? I am very familiar with what took place years ago.

Don’t tell me that you support your people when black people have a business some of you expect a hookup. Complain about the prices in a black-owned restaurant but pay good money in another. SMH!!! Ahhhhhh!!! The Contradictory. We speak of being one of the most tolerant races, yet some people are quick to reject people who are different from them. I thank God for helping me to be happy with who I am that way I won’t waste my time trying to get people to accept me. I am fine with being a square I don’t want to fit in the black collective circle. I am Tameeka!!! I love God, football, basketball, poetry, all music however rock music is my favorite, I’m a single mother, I’m educated, I’m kind, I’m supportive, I’m loyal, and the list goes on and on. I love myself enough to know who I am, where I belong, and where I don’t.

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All in Due Time

During this time of year many people get depressed for various reasons it could be the loss of a love one or they are just lonely. Losing a love one can be one of the most heartbreaking things that could ever happen. The holidays can make a person face the reality of many things that can’t be denied. A loving one not being around never gets easy we go on because there isn’t a choice.

The Emotions had a classic Christmas song called What do the lonely do at Christmas?, it gets to some single people, I guess. Being lonely and being alone are two different things, some people enjoy being alone. God has an appointed time for single people to connect with others. I remember when one of my friends told me how God wanted him to remain hidden which can be difficult when you want to be found. God’s timing is perfect everyone will not experience the same things at the same time. A clock has twelve numbers on it, there are 24 hours in a day, seven days and twelve months a year etc. As hard as things can be we have to trust God’s timing it’s perfect. Everything happens for a reason and everything happens when it is time. So in the meantime we should pray for the heartbroken and pray for the people who are lonely. We should also be happy for others I am a firm believer that how we behave when we are waiting for what we want is one of the biggest test of all.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18). It is encouraging to read what King David wrote in the previously quoted psalm. We can be healed and delivered from a broken heart.

Stand Alone

A marriage can be looked at like the game of chess
Chess may be a game but the strategy aka master plan
Is of something bigger
There is a lot that we all can learn
Like the chess board
It’s right in black and white
There are many people on board
That has the king’s back
They are all ready to battle
Still a king must realize
How important his queen is
There are 8 pawns
There are two rooks
There are two knights
There are two bishops
Yet one queen
The queen is the king’s protector
After everyone has fallen
After it’s all said and done
It’s the king and queen who stand alone

Marriage is Beautiful

Lately, I have seen negativity about marriage. I happen to come across the show Adam ruins everything which featured an episode about marriage. Adam said that love isn’t eternal and further went on to say that people shouldn’t feel bad about a marriage failing being that love is a temporary feeling. I changed the channel immediately because Adam is Not ruining anything for me; I refuse to allow that mess to get into my spirit. Besides it has been shown that Adam and his stats were wrong about some cases, he owned up to it. We are living in a time where things are requiring less effort to get things done. It’s so easy for people to walk away from something instead of finishing what they have started. It doesn’t surprise me when people jump ship; it surprises me when people stick and stay.

Currently, I am taking a class about gender studies, and it talks about the war between the two sexes. My first assignment is about my thoughts on gender roles, which is tricky. I am a Christian, so I trust God’s Word completely. In class, we covered what we felt men and women should do. Here’s the thing why is it felt that women are not looked at as an equal just because she doesn’t do the same role as a man? I mean who said that it certainly wasn’t God. God loves us all equally just because we are called to do different roles doesn’t make anyone more superior over the other.

Society needs to understand that there is nothing wrong with a wife allowing her husband to lead, I mean why not? The black community is filled with broken homes. How can a person who comes from a broken home have a healthy relationship unless God helps? Many black women who come from broken homes want to lead the household because it’s what they are used to seeing. A wife being submissive to her husband doesn’t make her a slave. Some women use men abusing their power as a scapegoat; these women are just stubborn.

Furthermore, if a woman has trouble submitting to her man then don’t marry him but ask yourself this how come it’s easy to respect a supervisor on the job than the man you suppose to love? Why is it essential for some women to feel the need always to have to be in control? Is it because they are afraid of being vulnerable?

It also doesn’t help marriage reputation with women who bash marriage and try to attempt to reduce marriage to being just a piece of paper; it’s more than that. Truth be told I think some of these women downplay marriage because they know that them getting married is less likely. So they try to fool people by cutting things off at the chase by making it seem as if it’s their choice. The best way to fool a fool is to let them think that they are deceiving you. Ummmmm no sweetie it’s up to the man to give his last name to a woman that he feels is worthy of that. There is something about a man who steps up to the plate and making his one love his official love. There’s something about a man making his one love his Mrs. Who wants to be just another girlfriend landing in the girlfriend category? It’s like being the hottest song for a moment how about being the favorite song for all time? A favorite song never gets old. A man in his lifetime has had several girlfriends being a wife now that special. Think about it.

So, in conclusion, Adam and no one else is going to get me to stop seeing the beauty of marriage. Marriage works because our Heavenly Father created it. Father knows best!!! If we allow God to guide us, we can have the right husband or wife. The reason why there is so many divorced people have the wrong concept of marriage and therefore, don’t value it as they should. So don’t get married if you are not ready and don’t get married to a person who doesn’t feel the same way about marriage as you do. Otherwise, the marriage will not make it.