The After Effects of Father’s Day

I truly believe that our mindset single-handedly can be responsible for generational curses but it doesn’t have to be that way. We have to love our children enough to not pass on the pain of our past to them. The pain of our childhood doesn’t have to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Our strength should be our crutch and not our pain. We can overcome and endure the pain of our childhood.

Events like father’s day can bring a painful childhood to the surface. Believe me, I once knew the pain. I grew up in a broken home for a short amount of time. My father was very abusive to my mother and so she left him.

When father’s day would roll around years ago it stirred up the anger that was within me. I was very angry with my father not because he wasn’t in the household. He and my mother could not get along because he was extremely violent. My parent just couldn’t live together and that part I understood. I wasn’t angry because he wasn’t under the same roof. The angry stemmed from him not having contact with my sisters and I at all. It was incredibly selfish of him. He and I never got along because I always reminded him about how abusive that he was. To be honest I felt like he hated me and it felt like we had no connection at all. I mostly felt bad for my middle sister because she never knew him at all. My mother stayed in contact with his aunt so he had no excuse at all for abandoning his fatherly duties.

Once I became a mother myself I realized the importance of having a father in a child’s life. There is no substitution for a father. Whether some people want to accept it or not God has a design for how things should be. God did not intend for a mother to raise children alone. This is part of the reason for generational curses. The importance of fathers is being downplayed. It’s not okay. Daughters look at their single mothers and feel that they can do it too. Sons becomes fathers and be like I’ll let the mother do it, she can handle it. After all my mother did it. Someone has to break the chain so that the pain will end or it will get passed on to the kids.

Until women and men realize the importance of the presence of a father things can’t get better. Some mothers will continue to cut the fathers out of the children’s lives. Some fathers will be okay with being a deadbeat willingly. Yet most men and women are angry with their fathers so let’s stop downplaying their role. A father teaches a daughter how she should be loved. A father teaches a son how to be a man. Fathers are daughters and sons heroes. Everything starts at home how can children function productively in society when they came from a broken place?

It’s not fair for our children to inherit our pain. We should have children with men who understand the importance of setting consistent examples for their children. Being a great father takes more than the reason of their father being absent it’s about having the courage to break the cycle.

I am a single mother and I have been for years but I am not a father. Just a friendly reminder single parents day is in March, mother’s day is in May, and father’s day is in June. It’s unfair to take way father’s day from the fathers who are going above and beyond. There are fathers who have been in their children’s lives from birth up into adulthood. Yes, they do exist. There can be more great father too all we have to do is let go of childhood hurt and change our mindset.

This is so true:
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I’ll Give You Trouble

My youngest son love old school games, music, and movies. We have so much in common. Last week he asked me if I could order some board games. The games that my son asked for were Jenga, Connect 4, and Trouble. I ordered the games online quickly.

As soon as the games came in the mail, he, my niece, and I began to play the game Trouble. Anyone who knows the rules of the game of Trouble knows that you can’t get out of home base until you get a six. My son got a six and another six. I got a six too. My niece still had not gotten a six and all four of her pieces were sitting at home. My niece didn’t stop until she got a six. She didn’t get frustrated at all.

This put me in the mindset about God’s timing, little things gets me to do that. We can’t get caught up looking around at other people’s turns. We have to stay focused on what God has for us once it’s time for us to step out on our journey.

Anywho, my niece kept popping that bubble until she came out of home base. Like how the turtle beat the hare she won the game too! Our timing isn’t important only God’s timing is important. God does things on His time and His timing is perfect. So when thoughts of doubt attempt to enter into your mind give them trouble and keep popping that bubble.

Ray of Hope

I don’t have to experience someone else’s love
To be happy for them
There are so many
Ways to be able to relate
Maybe it was heartbreak
That makes me want to see others happy
And for them to not endure my mistakes
It’s never too late to realize what it takes for love’s sake
I don’t need other people’s possessions
I know that God is in the blessing business
I can go through life storms
Because I know that there is a rainbow afterwards
There is a balance that God manages
Which is why through it all
I believe that it’s what God
Has intended
What was meant
All things works
Together for good
I will trust God
Like I always do

Happy Birthday Kalieel

You were born ten days before my birthday
You are one of the most beautiful gifts
That I have ever been blessed to receive
Happy Birthday to my youngest son
Ever since you were born
You have been a ray of sunshine
And one of the best things
That I have ever held in my arms
Besides your brother
You know me better than anyone
In spite of you having autism
You know my favorite
Music, tv shows, video games, and football team
Our number one favorite thing is praying
Such an amazing young man
You always know how to brighten my day
When I am feeling down
You tell me that
Things will be okay
I could go on forever in a day
Telling you how much
Of a blessing that you are to me
I am so thankful
That God gave me you
I love you very much
You are my everything
To my heart
There is so much joy that you bring
Happy 15th Birthday Kalieel
I pray that God blesses
You with the desires
Of your heart
Each and every one

My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one have a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes, and I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Can’t Nobody Tell It Better Than Me

Diversity of thought allows a person to accept and respect what another person believes as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. I am a Christian and I am proud of that. When I had no one I had God. I can give testimony after testimony about what God did to save my children and I. Again it was not a human. I understand that some people have had situations that occurred in their lives, where they question God. Some people are so angry at God that it has them blind. There are about 7.3 billion people in the world and 2.3 billion are Christians. So 2.3 billion people are lost? This isn’t slavery time no one is getting beat over the head and forced to believe in Christ. People of different races are Christians. So, all of these people are just blind and they believe in Christ for no reason? I don’t think so.

I have had things that have occurred in my life and recently I found something else out. And I am not angry at God about it. God gave us all free will. He doesn’t force us to believe in Him or follow Him. Kind like us wanting people to love us for who we are and not for what we can do. Think about it like this there are some people who don’t believe in God but they all aren’t going to behave the same. Some will think of others but a lot won’t even more so. Why? They lack structure and that’s why they do whatever they want without a care in the world. They lack having a conscience. We can’t blame God for everything and especially not for the people who choose to Not follow Him. Of course they will do evil things their flesh controls them Not God. In my opinion a person can’t allow God in if they are full of themselves. The consequences of not following God is an angry person who has an appetite for destruction. Which is why I am careful of what I allow into my spirit. Evil is Not Good. Evil likes to hide in the dark. Bad things happen in the dark. We can’t walk in the dark which is why we turn on a light. But once the light is on there is no place for evil or darkness to hide. Evil is Not of light. The saying goes “what’s done in the dark comes out in the light” because bad things can hide in darkness. Something to think about.

I am not telling all of my life’s story because it’s Not time yet. I will say this much my “father” hated me, he abused my mother, my sister and I, both of my sons (one is autistic) are by the same man who I was married to, we don’t get along and I am a single mother. This is just the tip of the iceberg about my life. Some of the things that has happen in my life were bad choices that I made and Not God’s fault. Some of the worst chapters in my life happened when I wasn’t walking right with God. Every life has a story and so does mine. All I know is that there has to be a God with all I have been through and continue go through. I have overcame and endured!!! That’s how I know that God is real. Believe what you will after all we have free will. I choose to believe what’s the harm in believing and having hope? Besides I will not stop having faith it’s the one thing that keeps me going When I Am About To Run Out Of Steam!!!