Happy Birthday Kalieel

You were born ten days before my birthday
You are one of the most beautiful gifts
That I have ever been blessed to receive
Happy Birthday to my youngest son
Ever since you were born
You have been a ray of sunshine
And one of the best things
That I have ever held in my arms
Besides your brother
You know me better than anyone
In spite of you having autism
You know my favorite
Music, tv shows, video games, and football team
Our number one favorite thing is praying
Such an amazing young man
You always know how to brighten my day
When I am feeling down
You tell me that
Things will be okay
I could go on forever in a day
Telling you how much
Of a blessing that you are to me
I am so thankful
That God gave me you
I love you very much
You are my everything
To my heart
There is so much joy that you bring
Happy 15th Birthday Kalieel
I pray that God blesses
You with the desires
Of your heart
Each and every one

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My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one have a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes, and I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Can’t Nobody Tell It Better Than Me

Diversity of thought allows a person to accept and respect what another person believes as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. I am a Christian and I am proud of that. When I had no one I had God. I can give testimony after testimony about what God did to save my children and I. Again it was not a human. I understand that some people have had situations that occurred in their lives, where they question God. Some people are so angry at God that it has them blind. There are about 7.3 billion people in the world and 2.3 billion are Christians. So 2.3 billion people are lost? This isn’t slavery time no one is getting beat over the head and forced to believe in Christ. People of different races are Christians. So, all of these people are just blind and they believe in Christ for no reason? I don’t think so.

I have had things that have occurred in my life and recently I found something else out. And I am not angry at God about it. God gave us all free will. He doesn’t force us to believe in Him or follow Him. Kind like us wanting people to love us for who we are and not for what we can do. Think about it like this there are some people who don’t believe in God but they all aren’t going to behave the same. Some will think of others but a lot won’t even more so. Why? They lack structure and that’s why they do whatever they want without a care in the world. They lack having a conscience. We can’t blame God for everything and especially not for the people who choose to Not follow Him. Of course they will do evil things their flesh controls them Not God. In my opinion a person can’t allow God in if they are full of themselves. The consequences of not following God is an angry person who has an appetite for destruction. Which is why I am careful of what I allow into my spirit. Evil is Not Good. Evil likes to hide in the dark. Bad things happen in the dark. We can’t walk in the dark which is why we turn on a light. But once the light is on there is no place for evil or darkness to hide. Evil is Not of light. The saying goes “what’s done in the dark comes out in the light” because bad things can hide in darkness. Something to think about.

I am not telling all of my life’s story because it’s Not time yet. I will say this much my “father” hated me, he abused my mother, my sister and I, both of my sons (one is autistic) are by the same man who I was married to, we don’t get along and I am a single mother. This is just the tip of the iceberg about my life. Some of the things that has happen in my life were bad choices that I made and Not God’s fault. Some of the worst chapters in my life happened when I wasn’t walking right with God. Every life has a story and so does mine. All I know is that there has to be a God with all I have been through and continue go through. I have overcame and endured!!! That’s how I know that God is real. Believe what you will after all we have free will. I choose to believe what’s the harm in believing and having hope? Besides I will not stop having faith it’s the one thing that keeps me going When I Am About To Run Out Of Steam!!!

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person they need to find out why it does. She is not the problem.

Sometimes people just can’t win if you give advice with no experience it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot, I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity so she has zero privacy the public knows her past. However, there are some women that aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a past. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. There was some people who agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could the message that they need in order to give them hope.

Christ Like

The hardest thing in my life ever is my Christian walk. God is love, right? So why is walking with Christ so hard? Well I will tell you first of all it’s Not Christ that is the problem, it’s some of the people. Somewhere along the way some Christians have gotten things mixed up somehow. What does a Christian’s walk look like? What should a Christian look like? What is Christ like? I have been questioning this every since I decided to become more serious about my walk with Christ. First and foremost no two Christians’ walk are alike because no two people lives are the same. Every person on earth life has a story that can reach and touch certain people. Everyone has sinned. Everyone has won battles and are still fighting certain battles. One thing is for sure regardless of a person’s life, what a person may have done or who they are God can still use them. No one knows what God is doing in someone else’s life, remember Job in the Bible? Job “friends” thought the troubles in his life was his fault but it wasn’t.

We have to understand that we can know scripture back to front, we can say all the right things with the wrong heart and it has no value. We have to stay in the place of God’s love. God’s love is what leads a man to change to repentance. (Romans 2:4) I had a thought and I may be wrong but one of the most serious books in the Bible is Revelation. A lot of pastors don’t teach from it much but why is it at the very end and not the first book? Chances are if a person read Revelation first they probably would not want to read the rest of the Bible. Perhaps Revelation comes after all the other Books because every book prepares us and strengthens us for what’s to come.

Social media can be a great thing it gives people the ability to reach others with our opinions and information. However social media also makes it easier for people to beat each other down. Some Christians become fixated on how they think a Christian walk should look like. We need to not be so quick to judge someone else’s walk when we have no idea what God is doing in that person’s life. Most importantly no Christian should be afraid to shine a light in a dark place in order to reach others. No Christian should want to only reach people who look, think like them and have a little group because that’s not Christ like it’s cult like. Know the difference. I am constantly growing in the Lord. Who am I to judge a person with tattoos, a drug user or a promiscuous person? Who am I to try tell Brian “Head” Welch about his walk with Christ? God is using Brian Welch is in a mighty way. I don’t know what God is doing in his life. No one can tell me what God is doing in my life either just because I listen to all kinds of music does not mean that God cannot and isn’t using me. I don’t know what God is doing in my life in the future but I am ready for Him to use me.

Someone once said if you want to make God laugh tell Him the plans that you have for your life. After all God knew us before we was born. (Jeremiah 1:5) God directs our paths (Proverbs 3:). To answer all my questions I don’t know what a Christian walk looks like because I don’t know what God is doing in other people’s lives. If God was that easy to figure out why would we need Him? God ways and thinking is higher than ours. God loves us all and can save us all if we allow Him to. The last thing I ever want to do is be responsible for sending a person to hell because I turn them off from turning to Him based on my actions. If God can change me or anybody else why doubt what God can do in someone else’s life? Isn’t that placing limits on a limitless God we all need to be careful of how we treat other Christians and other people period. We all need to check our hearts constantly and love others always. We may be the only Christ that they see. Let’s help God to win souls and not lose them. God loves everyone. As Brian “Head” Welch said “God told him to look at the crowd of fans that they were all of His Children and He wanted to save them all”. Didn’t Jesus change the woman at the well and the woman who was caught in adultery? Did Jesus judge the Pharisees about stoning the woman who was caught in adultery?

1 Corinthians 8:1
Now concerning things offered to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.

Rejection is a Blessing

Rejection is a blessing!!! When I was younger rejection used to bother me then I realized it’s their loss not mine. Everyone isn’t going to like me and I am fine with that. I was watching a You-Tube video and the lady made some amazing points about not being the collective of black people. I have felt this way all of my life I listen to all kinds of music and I think a completely different way for sure. She spoke of how her own people which are black people have been the most cruelest towards her and it wasn’t the other races of people. I can definitely testify about what she said. This used to bother me but I have since embraced who I am. I just go where I am appreciated. I am very happy because I feel free and that’s a blessing. I will not hide my feelings, likes, or dislikes if people don’t like who I am then goodbye. It means our time has expired and I am good trust me on this!!!! Everything happens for a reason and some people are for a season.

I have written posts about being honest about what’s going on within the black community. The numbers don’t lie and it’s not wrong information. Some people don’t want to face the truth which means they are not ready to change the community. We have to be honest about the problems that are in the black community. If you speak about what’s wrong in the black community you will get attacked. People will be on you quicker than Clark Kent can find a phone booth and change into superman. Instead of using google to stalk people or attempt to “expose others” how about using it to find out about the black babies being born out of wedlock, high divorce, and low marriage rates if that doesn’t make you want to promote positive changes I’m not sure what will. Change within the black community can’t come by blaming the white race for why the community is the way that it is when we are setting today’s trend of negativity and damage. I don’t want to hear about Andrew Jackson with slaves and being on the money. Can we get up to date Harriet Tubman is on the front of the money Andrew Jackson is on the back….like how slavery is back in the day. I am very familiar with what took place years ago.

Don’t tell me that you support your people when black people have a business some of you expect a hook up. Complain about the prices in a black owned restaurant but pay good money in another. SMH!!! Ahhhhhh!!! The Contradictory. We speak of being one of the most tolerant races yet some people are quick to reject people who are different from them. I thank God for helping me to be happy with who I am that way I won’t waste my time trying to get people to accept me. I am fine with being a square I don’t want to fit in the black collective circle. I am Tameeka!!! I love God, football, basketball, poetry, all music however rock music is my favorite,I’m a single mother, I’m educated, I’m kind, I’m supportive, I’m loyal and the list goes on and on. I love myself enough to know who I am, where I belong, and where I don’t.

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