The Pain Inside

People who aren’t fans will never

Understand they say that we idolize

They think that we are going overboard

For wanting you to receive

The proper recognition that you deserve

I mean who really thinks that what

Took place at the billboard awards

Was proper I mean it was absurd

A moment of silence that lasted

For like a blink of an eye

Because they don’t realize

How your music impacted our lives

How your music got us through

Very tough times

Through tears that we cried

Sometimes day and night

When there was no one in sight

Who we could trust or confide in

Without them passing judgement

People have absolutely no clue

About how the feeling of depression

Can seduce you

Thoughts of negativity

That swarms the mind

The worse part of it

Clueless people think that depression

Is of darkness

They truly have no idea

Depression just is

Anytime it can happen

Like at a finger’s snap

And no one is exempt

Women, men, teen, poor or rich

It swallows you into an abyss

It’s victims constantly

Long for freedom’s kiss

The pain hits hard like a fist

People must understand that no one

Willingly choose to feel like this

I’ve been depression’s victim

Feeling it squeeze the emotions

From out of my body

Had me walking around like a zombie

Thankful for your music

Coming to the rescue

Yes I smile

But behind it

Lies a pain

Like nothing that

I have ever felt before

I am mourning you

Crying the blues

Praying to God

Because I don’t know

What to do

This pain is killing me inside

No one will ever know the reason

Behind what I am feeling inside

I am trying hard to deal with

The pain right now

Is so unreal

Wishing that we had

More time to hear

More of your melodies

More time to enjoy

More memories

Of concerts, new music and videos

Now we are left with wondering

What another albums

Could have been in store

For us to enjoy

Why were you taken away

From us so soon

Your voice could sing any genre

Loved your covers of Billie Jean

And Nothing Compares 2 U

Your lyrics were always just

What we needed

Your music was everything

I say this with the utmost sincerity

From the looks of it

The pain that I am feeling ending

Appears to be nowhere in sight

People who aren’t fans

Will never understand

The treasure that was lost

Moment of Silence

Let me start off by saying that I have Not watched an award show since the 90s as far as I am concerned today’s music isn’t good music at all. In my day artist cared about making a great album and not just making a hit song. Man, where did music go wrong? The artist from the 80s and 90s helps the music of today to be halfway worth listening to. The music today samples a lot of the old music of yesterday. With that being said I am Not pleased about the tribute that was given to Chris Cornell a moment of silence!? Like you folks have to be kidding me!! Chris Cornell deserved way more than a moment of silence.

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Yeah, I know it sounds like I’m in my feelings well that’s because I am. I am beyond disappointed. I’m glad that I don’t watch award shows especially the Billboards awards they’re absolute garbage anyway. Chris Cornell passed way on a Wednesday and you are telling me that they couldn’t come up with a better tribute than what he got?! Stick a fork in me because I’m done. Nothing against Cher, Celine Dion or Drake if you like watching your grandma parading around in sheer garments at 71, a walking white rose that has been plucked from dress and synthesized voices. Enlighten me were those the original outfits Cher wore when I was a teenager I have got to know?! Ummmm Cher you cannot turn back time you’re a grandma’s age no disrespect. What was Celine Dion wearing last night?! Drake won an award nothing against synthesized voices however Robert Troutman did it better just ask 2Pac California Love baby!!!

If I was in charge of giving a tribute for Chris Cornell it would have been truly memorable. The moment of silence didn’t last because the people in the audience didn’t have enough respect to stay silent for long. What can I say that’s just the way of the world. Okay I am done ranting. On a lighter note U2, Dave Mustaine, Areosmith, Queensryche, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica gave a tribute to Chris Cornell. Thank goodness for the artist from years ago they are keeping great music alive.

What’s Tameeka Listening to?

Chris Cornell passed away on May 17 and so  I wanted to share his music. It was so hard to choose a song  I love Temple of The Dog, Soundgarden, Audioslave and his solo music. I decided to go with “Hunger Strike” Chris voice was amazing in this song. Check it out:

For Chris

Music transcends race, age, gender and social class. Music can bring different people to together while they sing the same lyrics to a song. People who know me know that I listen to all kinds of music however rock music is my baby. I love rock music. The Seattle Scene was everything Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains one can throw Candlebox up in there too. I had every cassette of the bands from the Settle Scene.  Growing up 1991 was a great year of music in April my mother brought me the cassette Temple of the Dog and in October Badmotorfinger. My mother brought me Motorvision on VHS of course it was the 90s. Man, kids of today will never know what it’s like to watch a VHS tape and be able to tell which parts were watched the most from constantly rewinding certain parts on a tape. On Motorvision I kept watching the part where Soundgarden performed Searching with My Good Eye Closed the energy was amazing!!!! I have been a fan of Soundgarden for more than half of my age. A lot of mainstream fans (not putting them down) think that Superunknown put Soundgarden on the map but it was Badmotorfinger actually. My favorite songs off Badmotorfinger are Rusty Cage, Outshined, Slaves and Bulldozers and Searching with My Good Eye Closed. As a teenager I battled with depression and music helped me out a lot. This is the reason why I was so heartbroken about Chris Cornell’s death. I am Not idolizing Chris Cornell and quite frankly I’m sick of people who make a person feel bad about sharing about how someone touched their life.

My birthday is May 17 and Chris Cornell died on my birthday it’s so sad. I remember my phone going off from an email that I received. The email said Audioslave and Soundgarden leader singer so I click on it to open it and found out about his passing. I feel so sorry for Chris Cornell’s wife and children as well as everyone whose lives that he touched. Chris Cornell voice was unique that could hit a high C vocal range and he was an amazing songwriter too. Chris wrote most of the songs of the groups that he was in. On the album Superunknown one of my favorite songs is “Fell on Black Days. Fell on Black Days written by Chris is about how he suffered from a severe case of depression during his teenage years rarely leaving the house. Chris once spent a whole year without leaving the house he played the guitar and drums. I could go on and on about Chris Cornell’s songs and his talent. In an interview with Launch Radio Networks, Chris Cornell said: “The ‘be yourself’ part really just came from a lot of things that I’ve gone through in my life and a lot of different changes and all the different tragedies and all the horrendously stupid mistakes I’ve made in my personal life, and wanting to be able to make up for those things and wanting to be able to not be ashamed, all that stuff. You know, that’s the one thing about getting older that’s better, and this song kind of says it so simply, to a degree that 10 years ago I would’ve been embarrassed to put it in a song ’cause it is so simple. But there it is.”

In the song “Show me how to live”, Chris Cornell asks for help from God, saying that He created him, but now needs his guidance. There are a few religious references in the song, including “Nail in my hand,” which is relates to the crucifixion of Jesus.

Near the end, Cornell created an interesting vocal effect by hitting his throat with the side of his hand to change the pitch of his voice

I went over to Chris Cornell’s website and read his thoughts about his tribute to Prince; he performed Prince’s song “Nothing Compares 2 U”. He said “Sadly now his own lyrics in this song could not be more relevant than at this moment, and I sing them now in reverence as I pay tribute to this unequaled artist who has given all of our lives so much inspiration and made the world so much more interesting.” Those words are exactly how I feel right now Chris Cornell there will never be another like you because “Nothing Compares 2 U.” I know that you sometimes “Fell on Black Days” wanted the “Black Hole Sun” to come but you continued “ Searching with Your Good Eye Closed” asked God to “Show You How to Live” while you continued to “Be Yourself”. You were an awesome artist Say Hello to Heaven.

The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.

Check Out the Lyrics

This is one of my favorite songs by Sade which is quite appropriate with the way I’ve been feeling lately.

“Keep Looking”

Some will tell you that you’re wrong
You do it all the wrong way
Some will tell you that you’re wrong
That you don’t know the way
They enjoy cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Don’t let them bother you no
They enjoy the cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Oh no

It’s no use sitting down
Don’t walk round with a frown
Oh no (aah) keep looking
It’s no use sitting around
With your head in your hands
Oh no keep looking

Say let my life alone

Some will tell you that you’re wrong
You do it all the wrong way
Some will tell you that you’re wrong
That you don’t know the way

They enjoy cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Don’t let them bother you no
They enjoy the cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Oh no

It’s no use sitting down
Don’t walk round with a frown
Oh no (aah) keep looking
It’s no use sitting around
With your head in your hands
Oh no keep looking

Oooh
Aah
Keep looking
Oooh
Aah
Keep looking

Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your worries
Thinking about your problems
Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your worries
Keep looking
Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your problems
Thinking about your troubles
Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your problems
Keep looking

Keep looking

If you never let it show
They’re never gonna know
Aah Aah
Keep looking

If you never let it show
They’re never gonna know
Aah Aah
Keep looking

Don’t Be A Fool Being A Bully Isn’t Cool

Today I read a very disturbing post an eleven year old girl committed suicide. The little girl was a victim of bullying. Even more heartbreaking about the story was who found her body it was her three year old sister. The little girl who committed suicide saw no way out except for taking her life. Bullies are a huge situation that should not be ignored. Children aren’t the only bullies adults can be too which is actually sadder. There are different types of bullying it’s important that we know what they are so we can spot them.

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Bullying affect people in negative ways it can push people to the point of no return. Children deserve to experience a happy life that’s bully free. I feel sorry for the bullies too hurt people hurt others. Many times bullies feel insecurities inside so they pick on other people. Bullies most times are bigger than their peers physically and have trouble at home.

Society really has things stacked up against parents with the internet, promotion of violence and disrespect of others it’s a lot for parents to monitor. I’m old schooled so the main thing I would tell another parents is to keep a open line of communication with your children. Pay attention to your children so you can notice if they are withdrawn, angry or sad remember children are very scared when it comes to a bullying situation. Parents should talk with their children’s teacher if they sense a problem. Teachers must report any problems to the principal or the dean most importantly inform the parents about everything.

I also touched on adults sometimes being bullies too because it’s the truth many of them use social media to publicly humiliate others. When it comes to adult bullies others should not back what they are doing causing them to stop. Bullies feed of the power off of having an audience and fear. Let’s make this clear one is a fool if they think being a bully is cool. If you are a bully who is an adult you are a even bigger fool… so grow up.

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Let’s pray for people who are being bullied and ask God to protect them from harm. Be a bully nor quietly observing mistreatment of another person is not cool. What if it was you? What would  you do? What would you want to see happen?