It’s sad to say but not all the people who come into our lives will mean us well. There are ways to filter them out they are exposed eventually just keep your eyes open actions never lie. Here’s one thing that true always keep it in mind to happy people wants to see other people happy. So if you have a person in your ear given you advice but the results aren’t looking like what they have chances are their advice isn’t good. It’s like the three pigs taking advice from the wolf. Some things aren’t good as they appear sugar and salt look alike so always beware. Don’t allow anyone to steer you away from what you deserve.
marriage
Sex and Christianity
Sex and Christianity yes I am going there (you already know) every aspect should be discussed. Heck sex is covered in Genesis God says to be fruitful and multiply. Of course we all know the reasons why waiting to have sex is the best option. Nobody wants to end up being a notch in someone’s belt the way I see it if things don’t work out one can still walk away with their dignity in tact. Everyone that we come across whether it’s dating etc aren’t meant to know everything or explore everything either. Some people are only for a season their purpose is to get us ready for the one that God has for us. Don’t share too much we must be ready for the right one. We must never compromise our happiness that’s what’s done as long as it’s within reason once married. We will definitely know who they are once they come along.
Now that we have found our other half and got married what’s next? Here’s where things get interesting when it comes to intimacy you can not and should not be stingy. Don’t try and brainwash yourself into thinking that your other half is greedy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with catering to your other half everyday. I mean why not this is the person that you decided to spend the rest of your life with. The key to intimacy is communication like with anything openness is important never make your mate feel like they can’t talk to you that includes fantasies. It’s a sad situation when a person feels like that have to walk on egg shells around their other half. Not being able to communicate makes one feel like they are suffocating or a mute that’s not cool. I have been doing research about what a couple can do and what they can’t according to the Bible. Another thing not attacking the church but sex needs to be talked about help must be done to keep married couples together. Back to what I was saying there isn’t much that can’t be done you don’t want your other half to feel uncomfortable. It’s a great thing to explore mostly never deprive your mate that’s a huge mistake. That’s one of the reasons some step out on the marriage. Even if you are mad make up quickly the Bible says not to let the sun go down upon your wrath. Why hold a grudge against the one that you love it makes no sense let it go. Remember there’s nothing that can’t be worked out all you have to have is the want to. Many couples speak about after a number of years have past that the fire has went out within the marriage. This should never happen all you have to do is not stop doing what you did on your honeymoon. Don’t be afraid to press the refresh button on your marriage as well as you sex life. Give it all that you got.
Communication
Most problems between people would be saved if only they would communicate. If something is bothering you say it don’t throw hints talk clear the air. It isn’t fair to the person that you have a problem with. You have a mouth use it. Look at it like this when a baby is hungry, sick, upset etc what does it do? It cries so a parent know it needs something. A baby should not communicate better than an adult it’s time to grow up. Great friendships and relationships have been broken up all behind people not communicating and having an ego which aren’t a good combo.
There’s no need to write a thousand words about something that’s so simple. Don’t lose a treasured relationship because you refuse to open your mouth.
The problem could be simple to fix but you will never know if you don’t talk. If you value your friendship or relationship save it. Talk.
Privacy
No I’m not tripping
Yes I truly believe
Whether you are in
A relationship or married
Everyone is entitled to a
Certain level of privacy
It’s important to have trust
In the one that you love
A phone doesn’t need to be locked
But at the same time
A phone shouldn’t be
Checked through Facebook,
Texts or voicemail
If your love one phones rings
How about don’t answer it
How about forget it
Unless they ask you to get it
That’s trust
Just like staying off of
Their Facebook page
You can’t get accurate information
From that anyway
Doing all this will drive you crazy
Don’t nobody feel like
Having to explain their every move
Always questioning
Oh and another thing
Go out together
As well as enjoy time alone
Everyone deserves an outlet
So don’t blow up their phone
Allow your partner to
Enjoy their space
If you have to play detective
Then you need to reevaluate
The relationship there maybe
Something or there may not be
If you are one with an issue
With trust then chances are
It’s you
Back Up Plan
The back up plan aka the rebound relationship. No one wants to be a victim of a rebound relationship. Love and basketball don’t go together I don’t care about the movie. The only rebound I want to know about is in the basketball game not in love. It makes a person look like a clown and clowns are for kids like Trix cereal. So let’s be an adult about adult situations after a break up feel the pain and reflect on what has happened. If the relationship hurt you let it burn like Usher. Relationships ends for various reasons two people were in it and both people big or small had a hand in the demise of it ending. It’s not cool to bring someone else into your life as a way to ease the pain. It’s okay to be single it doesn’t hurt it gives one a chance to work on oneself. Love is something that can’t be rushed so take it easy.
It’s so important to analyze the person that you are dealing with especially when the relationship is new. Make sure that they are over their ex there will be warning signs so don’t ignore them. They may talk about their ex all the time even in a negative light however they still are talking about them thus they are not I repeat not over them. Also be careful that you aren’t being used to make their ex jealous that’s also a sign that they still care for their ex. Yes it’s pretty pathetic for them to try to make a person jealous who didn’t care about them in the first place however people still do it. Growing up we’re taught to be a good sport that second place is okay. That being number one doesn’t matter please keep in mind that this doesn’t apply in relationships and marriages. No one deserves to be treated as something to do until the person who didn’t want them in the first place feels like being bothered. If the person valued them in the first place they wouldn’t have let them go. So don’t open yourself up to being hurt.
Keep this in mind always we deserve the best in our lives. Life is too short to be deprived or playing games with people.
Don’t be the appetizer
Be the main course
Don’t be the minor
Be the major
Don’t be the back up plan
Be the only plan
Because you are first choice
Don’t be someone’s right now love
Be someone’s lifetime love
Our hearts are valuable and fragile
Never allow loneliness or any type of circumstances to drive you into the arms where you don’t belong. The last thing you want is to be with the wrong one and miss out on the right one all because you didn’t want to be alone. Don’t be a rebound it makes you look like a clown and no one likes to be the butt of someone’s joke.
Broken Covenant
When I use to think of what we had
It would make me sad
After all marriage is a special thing
A covenant with God
When a lady and a man
Becomes wife and husband
Number one we must understand
True love isn’t planned
Love is precious
And so beautiful
Especially when the love is equal
So if you are not ready
For love then don’t accept
A person’s heart
When they offer it to you
Another important thing
A marriage can not survive
With interferences from the outside
Also decisions should not be made
As if single is your status
They must be made together
With a prayer to God as the glue
To hold them into place
Praying that you gain understanding
As I have one day
I don’t blame God
And I don’t blame you
I played a role in the demise
Of the marriage too
It’s a shame what we planned to prosper
Has been reduced to a poem
Which consist of nouns and verbs
On a piece of paper
I am no longer sad or mad anymore
Because I now know that regardless of the
Outcome God has a plan
So now I understand
I no longer question why
I know that God has greater
For me in my life
Looking on the bright side helped me to realize
Where I messed up and that was not keeping
God first
See human beings are like candles
Under pressure we burn out
But God is like the sun
The light never goes out
He knew us before our births
He has a master plan
For our lives
But if you don’t consult the master
There’s a chance that things won’t work
Pride will have a person looking from a window
On the outside wishing that you were inside
Pride kills happiness it leaves you with regret
So if you have a ego lose it
It’s not worth it
I have grown to be so much wiser now
I no longer cradle ideas about marriage
That are fables
Only God can keep a marriage stable
Because He is able
All we have to do is lay
Everything out on the table
I have never had so much confidence
About letting go
I truly hope that you find
The wife that is meant for you
I don’t hate you
How can I
I once loved you
Besides harboring hate has no use
It only keeps me from reaching
The next level that I am trying
To get to
This isn’t drama it’s truth
Being honest is the right thing to do
As you can see I’ve looked
At me I have taken ownership
Of my mistakes
Can you
Carry It Gangsta
Goodfellas, Griselda Blanco and Al Capone
When a relationship is over
You’ve got to carry it gangsta
At some point in most of our lives
We will have a break up
Gone are the days
When marriages lasted a lifetime
I’m not saying don’t work
Things out if you can please do
However staying in a relationship
When you are unhappy
Makes no sense
When you have done all that you could
It’s best to let things go
Will it hurt
Of course
But why hold on
Most times when relationships
Comes to an end
There were signs that it was going to
Like more arguments
Less time spent together etc.
So don’t be scorn
Don’t be bitter
Especially if you once loved the person
Where did the hate come from
Anger only hurts the
One that’s angry
Healed people heals others
Just because something comes to an end
It doesn’t have to be
On a sour note
There are many things that ends
Books but you don’t stop reading them
Movies but you don’t stop watching them
It’s all about how you look at it
One doors closes
And another one opens
So when a relationship is over
Don’t hate or mope
The way to cope is to
Carry it gangsta
Marriage Made In Heaven
When God brings together
Two people in a marriage
He encourages
Many things along the way
To never be afraid
Of the steps
That are directed by Him
Fellowship daily
Be in a hurry for nothing
And always open to learning
One another
Have much prayer
Lots of patience
For this is necessary
To have a marriage of greatness
Know the time for fruitfulness
As well as gentleness
And always be prepared
For a lesson in forgiveness
Keep in mind one another’s feelings
Be willing to give all that
You can possibly give
Doing all this
Will help with faithfulness
Especially when you realize
The best part of a great union
Is having your life long
Friend for all eternity
These are some of the keys
For a marriage made in Heaven
Hope For Love
Yes, we are loved 24/7 by Christ He shows His love by blessing our lives with our hearts’ desires. When it comes to love we have to be open to the possibilities. I understand that we all have our preferences which are fine as long as they hold hands with reality. My ideal dream man is white, smart, great smile, and at least 6’0 feet tall indeed that’s the one for me. I’m not ashamed to admit it love has not brought me much luck. It has not been that kind, it’s okay though I’m fine with that. It’s not God’s fault at all it’s on me totally it’s all about the way that I sought it out. My hunt was went about wrong we all know that when something begins wrong it will end up being wrong. Not one who cares for the saying ” It’s not how you start it’s how you finish” that may apply to some things but I don’t believe that it goes for love. Anyway when love is looked for it is not found true love happens unexpectedly. Besides according to the Bible when a man finds a wife he has found a good thing. Meaning what’s meant to be needs no help it’s not the woman’s job to seek her man.Well I’m going to be a little cocky I believe God will give us what we want as long as it’s within His will.
In my life I have been in five serious relationships. I have never just dated or courted someone just got into a relationship instantly instead of taking it slowly. Hmmmm perhaps that is where I went wrong. It’s important to take the time to get to know a person. There could be red flags present but if one does take their time they will go unnoticed. Now all of the relationships weren’t bad there were good times. In my opinion they are looked at as unsuccessful because I am not with anyone of them. Let’s face it longevity of a relationship is the ultimate display of success. I was twenty-one years old when I got into my first relationship. My first love was truly amazing he was white, smart, tall we enjoyed many of the same things. It seemed like I had hit the jackpot right out of the gate, Yaaaaaaay go me!!!!!! He was everything that I had ever wanted. Let me cover this before I take my story any further I do believe that love has no color. Chemistry is important as well has having things in common too. I am a black female and I have always have had an attraction to white men. Also the things that I have always been into made it so, I love all music it’s the love of my life. However rock and roll is my favorite music along with metal and alternative normally the black men that I come across that enjoy what I enjoy are usually into white women which is a story for another blog which I will be writing about in the near future. Back to the story at hand my first love and I were young so we were both inexperienced. My background of having an abusive father did not make things any easier either.
I admit my part in the failing of the relationship. To be honest I actually felt unworthy of love like not worthy of God’s blessing that was sent to me. It must be understood that a person who comes from an abusive background can sometimes make it hard for one to love them. People like us punish ourselves because it’s all that we know. Past abusive relationships plays a role in present and future relationships when not dealt with. Not bashing my past too much it helped to develop me into the woman that I am today therefore I am proud of my battle wounds they aren’t scars. I’m healed completely of my past very thankful for that. In fact the way that I view my other four relationships aren’t in a negative way they taught the goodness of the first one. Also one of the relationships gave me my two handsome sons who are loved very dearly by me. The four relationships that I had give me an understanding of there purposes therefore they need no mentioning or elaborating on.
Right now I know and I am very confident that I am ready for love. I know that God will send me the right husband. Life has taught me what I need to know that I am worthy of the beauty of love. Regardless of my choices, my mistakes, my hurt, my pain, my past, my fear I will not give up on love. No one should give up on love it adds meaning to everyone’s lives and we all deserve to smile. For my dedication to love I wrote a poem it’s titled “Won’t Give Up On Love” it goes:
Although I have been dealt with what some may consider to be an unlucky hand
I haven’t given up on one the things that I desire having the most and that’s love
I long to feel totally complete with the love who embraces who I am
Unique yet difficult at the same time
One who I would give my all for even if it makes me feel uncomfortable
I am willing to step outside of my comfort zone as long as the feelings are mutual
I desire a king because I am a queen
A queen longs to take care of her king in ways that all the money can’t buy
I want to be the one that he can talk to about whatever it is that’s on his mind
His desires, his fears always backing him in his dreams big or little
Never allowing doubt to shadow his God given potential no matter what
I will always remain loyal and true blue
Most men and women have been hurt
They have been wounded and scarred from pain
Even when they move on the hurt remains
Vowing never to allow themselves to trust or love again
But they can’t give up, we can’t give up on love
On being united with their kings or queens
Joined together can you say love royalty
Love should never be taken lightly or for granted
Love sometimes is treated like a bad habit
Some people give love a bad name which is something that it doesn’t deserve
All because some of the people chose to give their hearts
To a complete stranger as it
It would be placed in danger some people have a nerve
Still there’s hope it doesn’t matter that life threw them a curve ball
Just have to wait and be patient their love problems will be solved
Love can make the coldest heart warm
When God made man in His image
He thought that man should not be alone so God made a woman
He intended for a woman to be a help mate
She is to relieve some of his weight and to kiss her king’s wounds
And forgive his mistakes
Willing to do whatever it takes to seal their love’s fate
Never making him feel like less than a champion
The greatest love comes from above
With God as the navigator He will guide us towards things
That are greater that includes the mate that is meant for us
All we have to do is trust so with that being said
I won’t give up on love
Stay or Go
Growing up I had a Christian up bring my mother was strict however I didn’t mind it. The way that I was brought up is the reason why I am who I am today. My mother and father separated when I was a very child about five years old. My father was Not a Christian and on top of that he was physically and mentally abusive. Some of the fights between my parents were so bad that I can still remember them vividly. Yet as a Christian my mother stuck by my father because of her faith. This is something to really think about. Being a Christian person in an abusive relationship when does one throw in the towel? The Bible says to forgive and God doesn’t like divorce it’s a tough situation. Still I believe that God would not want anyone to remain with an abusive partner. Well my mother was finally brave enough to leave my father.
My mother was a very strong woman that had endured a tremendous amount of heartache and pain. She was brought up in a foster home and later got involved with my dad. However through it all she loved God and she wasn’t a hateful person she was very loving. The faith that she had is the reason why I am a strong believer in Christ her faith was unshakeable. In fact she was one of the best mothers that had ever lived. I had so much respect for her even though my father wasn’t good she never spoke negative about him at all something that I inherited from her as well. One day when she and I were riding in the car I had to have been sixteen years old I asked why did she stay with my father for as long as she did? Her response was that she kept hoping that he would change and that she was trying to give us a home, be family. Inside not to her face of course I was like” I would had left.” I learned from experience that what I thought as a teen about leaving an abusive relationship or marriage is easier said than done. I later got into an abusive relationship with my children’s father. No one goes out looking for a person that will abuse them sadly things happen.
In my mind everything that is bad can be made into something good. I truly believe that once we forgive people that God can heal the situation and handle people the way that they need to be dealt with. God’s ways are perfect and I don’t blame Him for any of the hardships that occurred in my life and neither did my mother. She removed herself from toxic situations so her children could grow up with a healthy up bring. For me there are so many questions that I have about situations pertaining to marriage that are abusive or a partner that is a cheater etc.First it’s all about praying to God about a potential partner and analyzing them as well. Many times we see the red flags but ignore them it’s important to bare in mind that it’s okay to be picky and not to compromise when we are seeking a partner. It’s important to not allow being lonely to be the cause of making a avoidable mistake. Long time ago many thought meeting people in a church was a great place over the years that became a fantasy. Anyway church is a place to worship not hook up it’s not a bar. We have to keep our eyes peeled and ears open to God’s voice He knows what’s best. The bible says not to be in a hurry for nothing. All we have to do is trust and know that He has the best for us that His ways and thoughts are higher than ours.
Be Lifted 