The Chains Must Be Broken

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I don’t have a racist bone in my body and I have no self hate. At times it can be hard being me and being attracted to white men doesn’t help matters either. At times I get a whole lot of flack from my fellow brothers. It needs to be understood I don’t hate them as a matter of fact I love them in a Christian way. There is a chain that needs to be broken and it starts in the homes. When a family is broken it causes lots of damages for some that can’t be fixed. The blame game comes into to play attached with hate. Some of the black young girls become black women who wants love so much that she loses sight of her worth. Black boys grow up into black men who sometimes hate their mothers and they take it out on fellow black women. The chains must be broken it’s time to stop all the hate and turn negative into a positive. I came from a broken home but I allowed that to make me stronger. I don’t have a bad attitude I am simply aware of what I want and I go for it.

I find this video interesting:

Broken Covenant

When I use to think of what we had

It would make me sad

After all marriage is a special thing

A covenant with God

When a lady and a man

Becomes wife and husband

Number one we must understand

True love isn’t planned

Love is precious

And so beautiful

Especially when the love is equal

So if you are not ready

For love then don’t accept

A person’s heart

When they offer it to you

Another important thing

A marriage can not survive

With interferences from the outside

Also decisions should not be made

As if single is your status

They must be made together

With a prayer to God as the glue

To hold them into place

Praying that you gain understanding

As I have one day

I don’t blame God

And I don’t blame you

I played a role in the demise

Of the marriage too

It’s a shame what we planned to prosper

Has been reduced to a poem

Which consist of nouns and verbs

On a piece of paper

I am no longer sad or mad anymore

Because I now know that regardless of the

Outcome God has a plan

So now I understand

I no longer question why

I know that God has greater

For me in my life

Looking on the bright side helped me to realize

Where I messed up and that was not keeping

God first

See human beings are like candles

Under pressure we burn out

But God is like the sun

The light never goes out

He knew us before our births

He has a master plan

For our lives

But if you don’t consult the master

There’s a chance that things won’t work

Pride will have a person looking from a window

On the outside wishing that you were inside

Pride kills happiness it leaves you with regret

So if you have a ego lose it

It’s not worth it

I have grown to be so much wiser now

I no longer cradle ideas about marriage

That are fables

Only God can keep a marriage stable

Because He is able

All we have to do is lay

Everything out on the table

I have never had so much confidence

About letting go

I truly hope that you find

The wife that is meant for you

I don’t hate you

How can I

I once loved you

Besides harboring hate has no use

It only keeps me from reaching

The next level that I am trying

To get to

This isn’t drama it’s truth

Being honest is the right thing to do

As you can see I’ve looked

At me I have taken ownership

Of my mistakes

Can you

 

 

 

 

 

I Accept Who I Am Proudly

One thing that I don’t do

And that’s reminisce

About memories from my past

Unless they are ones

That are filled will bliss

Or they in some way

Contribute positively to my present or future

Life is way too short to be miserable

When I look in the mirror

I look beneath the surface way deep

And I am proud of what I see

A woman who has not allowed her past

To be a crutch or to define her

Holds her head up high with pleasure

Busy looking towards the future

As a matter of fact she runs to it

To catch it

Everyone has parts of their lives

Where they wish they could change

Forget or revive

Mine is no different

My life has not been perfect

I had an abusive husband and father

A wonderful mother who died young from cancer

Three beautiful sisters but we still argue

Two sons with a man that God didn’t not send

Unfortunately I made him my husband

One of my sons has autism

Goals and dreams that I have yet to finish

My face still has an occasional blemish

A marriage that has been demolished

But I refuse to wallow in sorrow

The past can not rob me of a great tomorrow

It will just go bankrupt

Cause my past won’t get a loan

No matter how hard it tries to borrow

My past has served it purposes

And I have come to terms of

What was meant happened

What wasn’t meant didn’t happened

Wishing and hoping won’t change it

Regardless I will not stress

I still feel that I am blessed

Through all the mess

Being negative there’s absolutely  no sense in it

I have accepted my life 100%

And I am proud of it

 

 

 

Let the Biological Clock Tick

1992 may not mean much for some people, it was the year when a seed got planted into my subconscious. My Cousin Vinny had a part in the movie that stuck out to me. It was the porch scene when Mona Lisa Vito she was talking to Vinny she goes “My biological clock is [taps her foot] ticking like this.” that one little line would get me into trouble nine years later. In my twenties I was in a rush to do everything and placed a time on when important events were to happen. I have since learned that anything that requires a long term commitment allow the biological clock to tick. The last thing that should be done is forcing something that should not be. In my opinion the saying “You make your bed hard now you have to lay it” should not be forever for anyone.

We should not act like an ambitious entrepreneur or a pushy car salesman when it comes to pursuing relationships or having children. These situations effects more than just one person. I know  that people always say that we must be careful who we have children with because we are stuck with the person for 18 years. I disagree having a child with a person is a lifetime commitment just because a child becomes 18 doesn’t mean that they will no longer need you. When the children graduate from college, get married or have their very own kids guess who else will be there besides you? I’m not being negative just realistic. As a matter of fact we should base these kinds of decisions on how our partner would treat us in case things don’t work out. A person who truly loves a person would not want to see the person hurt even if they are angry with them.

Real love is true love that at times have it’s ups and downs which should not be confused with red flags. Ups and downs in a relationship is when the love has been tested and proven that it’s meant. Therefore a relationship  that is meant one puts in the work to keep it. Red flags are signs that have been popping up from the very beginning but they were ignored. Most times when a relationship is not meant family and trusted  friends can see that it’s not. People on the outside tend to be able to see things better  than those that are on the inside. It’s important to be wise about these things. Also sometimes loneliness and low self esteem can a play role how things get viewed. It’s all about realizing that we are worthy of the best. Single people should look at happy couples as an inspiration of what destiny has to bring but it won’t happen by rushing it. I truly believe that every person that comes into our lives are for a reason. Still some are for a season and some are permanent it’s all about knowing that difference. That is why I have learned to ignore the biological clock it can tick away I trust God and I know that everything will be okay.

 

My Boys

One of the things that

I am most proud of being

Is a mother

My two greatest creations

Were added to this nation

Wonderful young men

Growing up I

Came from a family of girls

So that’s what I wanted

But God always knows best

He blessed me with sons

They mean so much to me

I’m grateful to be their mommy

One is so funny

The other looks just like me

I could not have asked for more

Looking forward to sharing

Magical moments to look back on

We have many things to explore

Smiling faces, hugs, kisses and more

My two boys

Whom I truly adore