Masculinity

So the other day I was watching a reaction video for Type O Negative. The young lady spoke of how she had not seen masculinity like Peter Steele ever! I was thinking to myself “What kind of men has she seen?” Not just her I have seen other comments too. One video by Type O Negative called “Love You to Death a person assumed that Peter had self-esteem issues because of his lyrics. In the song “Love You to Death, Pete asked “Am I good enough for you?”

First off Peter Steele could have had any woman that he wanted. Peter Steele was a different kind of man. When I think of the lyrics asking “Am I good enough for you?”Perhaps he understood a woman’s worth!!! Which is something that certain men don’t see or care about.

I just feel that today’s world is so sad. Masculinity to me isn’t about a man’s physique it’s about a man standing up in his manhood without fear. A strong man makes responsible decisions and knows how to make a woman feel safe. All women want to feel safe.

There is so much pressure that occurs when an honest opinion is given. As a black woman I feel that being dishonest is doing a disservice to those who need to hear the truth. I’m not going to lie about what some black men should be doing. We have been taking on many things for far too long only to be told that we have attitudes, harsh, and not feminine. I would love to be carefree like Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz unfortunately I can’t.

Something has to be done. Young ladies of this generation needs to see more men like Peter Steele and not feel that they are extinct!!!

Advertisements

A Noose Around A Brother’s Neck

Yes child support is for children of every race this is understood. I am writing this pertaining to a video.So there’s a guy whose video that I came across on YouTube claiming that child support is a noose around a black man’s neck. The guy who made the video claimed that it was a way to keep a black man down. Let me start off by saying two things one is that the guy is biased against women and two as long as I watch YouTube I will not run out of things to write about. Feeling the way that I felt I still watched the video in it’s entirety and it interested me so much that I had to blog about. Just couldn’t pass up this topic it is a hot one. 

There are so many stories that I have pertaining to mothers, fathers and child support. The situation has plenty of blame to go around. It’s ashame that the government has to get involved to make a parent do right. Yes there are some women who pay child support however it’s mostly men. It makes me upset when people starts to point fingers just do what you are suppose to do as a parent. When you get involved with a person think are they a person that you can see yourself marrying or having children with them? If the answer is no then don’t risk the chance of being tied to that person with a lifetime commitment.  Are there some spiteful money hungry women who use the money on other things besides their children? Yes but you saw the signs there are always signs you just choose to ignore the red flags. Am I saying that a person deserves to be stressed out forever with drama? No but don’t take a chance and gamble. When a person shows you who they are believe them.

Indeed there is a time to be private and there’s a time to help with your story. Imagine if no one shared their testimonies and stories it’s important to encourage as many people as we can. It may help someone out and that’s an awesome thing. As I have shared I am a single parent of two sons and I am doing as best as I can WITHOUT child support. My children’s father was in prison for basically ten years and I did NOT put him on child support. Even while a person is in prison they can be placed on child support I choose to opt out of that choice. My ex has been out since November and has Not seen his children after ten years. Does it make me upset how he treats our children? Yes of course however I place things into God’s hands He will handle things. I’m Not spiteful here’s why I have Not sought child support the agent would throw him back into jail and that doesn’t do either one of us any good. I’m giving him time to get on his feet and an opportunity to do what he can however I have a time limit trust me.

Let’s look at things like this why would a person try to hurt another? Perhaps there are still feelings there I do Not have feelings for my ex it’s about our children. Our children have been through enough and do Not deserve any additional heartache. If you love your children make it about your children Not about your ex. The children did not ask to come here. Some of you mothers quit trying to hurt the father by digging into his pockets in the hopes that no woman will want him because we all know that it won’t happen. Fathers child support is not worth more than time spent with your children. Call your children more often, visit them, and yes you can date as well as move on however take your children with you. Our ex is our past but our children are a lifetime commitment honor it  and don’t ever forget that. Put your grownup pants on and co-parent properly.

Men Have Feelings Too

One thing that I am instilled

Into my sons minds early

It’s healthy to say how you feel

Whether it’s sad,mad,or glad

It’s doesn’t make a man less than

A man because he’s in touch

With his feelings

Keeping feelings bottled up

Is not good at all

Women and men are both human

We require the same things to live

Food, water, air, love etc

The problem is when men

Were boys they were taught

That their feels were to be surpressed

They’re told all during their boyhood

Not to cry but to be a man

But once we are women

We expect them to express

What they can’t

It makes no sense

It’s not the right way

If a man feels some type of

Way then he should say it.

Without any delay

We speak of maturity

And the way that men act

When in fact we helped to

Contribute to that

Men being numb and cold

Yet we want them to step into

The loving nuturing husband role

Allow boys to express their feelings

Early and what amazing

Men they will grow to be

The mentality of men

Who show emotions are wimps

Logic must be ripped away

Christ even weap if He can

Do it so can everyone else

We all need to get a clue

And admit the truth

Men have feelings too

 

 

 

 

Are There Anymore Good Black Men?

My preference are white men however just because I am attracted to white men doesn’t mean that I hate black men. Love has no color and souls connect to one another. I’m a black and I want everyone of all races to be happy in love as well as my black sisters. Most black sisters that I know are down for black love only. They are completely devoted to our black brothers. There are many black people who believe in black love and that’s all good. Relationships requires two good committed people to making it work. By no way am I bashing black men still there are many statistics and numbers don’t lie. Some black men have many children, are unmarried and aren’t in their children’s lives. When I turn on the television the media doesn’t make things any easier either black men are shown in a negative light as well how they treat women, very disrespectful and huge cheaters. Some have a deep hatred for black women which probably stem from many things. With all this is there hope for black love?

12809611_1133542156690210_1824996547177599414_n

What can be done to break the chain of what seems to be a curse on black love? Someone has to be brave enough to save black love. Many things start at home that’s where life changing decisions are born. I know for me it was. The way my father treated my mother, my sister and I had a lot to do with my mindset. Somebody has to do something or black love may soon to become extinct.