The “IBM”

So I was watching a very interesting video on YouTube it was about black men who don’t like it when black women swirl. Everyone knows where  I stand on this subject I believe that people should be able to explore their options in peace. It’s about numbers there are not enough black men for every black woman. I don’t know about the other black women but I am not waiting around or going on a scavenger hunt looking for an “IBM”. In case no one knows what IBM means it short for ideal black man. So what is an ideal black man he’s a leader, faithful, honest, loyal….I guess one can throw in his employment, doesn’t have a lot of children, is a great father to the children he does have, educated etc. What made the video interesting is that a black man suggested polygamy as a way to solve the number’s problem and noooooooooo. I don’t know any woman who values herself that would be willing to share a black man…..or any man period.

I don’t hate black men nor do I put them down. I do have a problem with the black men who put black women down. I do believe that black love exists however it’s not for me. I am into various things most of the things black men aren’t if so they are into white women plain and simple. Let’s be real honest for a second most black people have come from broken homes I came from one. I understand that for most people are unstable because they came from dysfunction okay when does it stop? I recognized my issues a long time ago and  I fixed them. Let me give an example when you hear a noise coming from your car don’t you go get it fixed? Okay if a person is broken they need to allow God to fixed them so they don’t go and damage someone else. Anyone who have emotional issues should not get involved with anyone their only pulling someone into their life storm. I’m pulling someone into my peace because life is too short to live any other way.

I guess the reason why  I wrote about this is because I can’t understand why interracial dating is such a huge problem. Growing up I had “One” crush on a black guy I have always been attracted to white men. Anyone who knows me personally know this and  I have dated white men too. Recently I decided that  I am going to do what makes me happy. If I am blessed to see 85 years old  I wanted to have a full life of happiness. The way to be happy is doing things as long as they are within God’s will that make us happy. The only person who we are suppose to live our lives for is God no one else. I pray that people find the one who makes them happy regardless of the person’s color.

Black Queen

The internet has been buzzing about the surprise nuptials of Mr. Tyrese Gibson but not exactly for the reasons most would think. Recently Tyrese shared his wedding pictures on Instagram with the hashtag my black queen. He’s been getting slammed because his wife looks white. To be honest I have mixed feelings about this situation. I for one am happy for Tyrese from what  I researched his new wife is really religious. Tyrese new wife has influenced his views on God it was shown through posts. In my opinion anyone who can influence your outlook about God and causes you to walk closer with Him is a blessing. I don’t care what color that they are because in my eyes love has no color.

The person that I am is one who is curious about what makes people do what they do. Tyrese fan base is made up of mostly black women so  I am thinking that he doesn’t want to lose fans that why he kept the marriage quiet. Another thing that I have noticed about Tyrese is that most of the women that he has dated have been very light skinned. I have written about the colorism that goes on in the black community. Even though we grow up and become an adult there are still some things that have occurred in our childhood that we carry with us. Some of the comments that  I read on Tyrese Instagram prior to him taking his wedding photos were terrible like attacking his skin tone. I wonder did he get attacked behind his skin tone a lot as a child and as an adult. It doesn’t matter about him being a celebrity he’s still a human being with feelings.

I’ll never meet Tyrese but I am glad that he is happy. He looked very happy in his wedding photos and that’s great. I pray that his wife makes him happy for many more years to come. I do feel that there are some deep seeded problems within the black community I have said this many times before. Tyrese calls his wife who looks white a black queen yet Jesse Williams is thought of as not being black enough. It just doesn’t make sense to me nevertheless blessings to Tyrese and his wife.

One last thing I would like to add pertaining to a comment left on Tyrese photo the writer wrote “Men dark as Tyrese are the ones with the biggest self-hatred” if that is the case let’s not add to his case by attacking the man. I pray that God sends me a true Man of God that helps to strengthen my walk with Christ. Tyrese obviously has reached the understanding with his wife’s help that having a strong relationship with God is more important than anything.

Mark 10:8

And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Happy Birthday Dad

There is so much to love about February like it being a month away from spring, the month of one of my favorite president’s birthday, black history month and (drum roll please) my step-dad’s birthday. My step-dad is one of the greatest people that  I know.

I love my step-dad I really do. There are so many reasons why  I appreciate him. My step-dad has been in my life every since  I was about ten years old. He always helped my mom to  make things happen. My mother and step-dad had no children together but he treated us like his own. When my mother became sick he never left her side.

In 1997 my mother passed away from cancer. The funeral that my mother had was loaded with people who told my sisters and  I that they had our backs. As time went on the people at the funeral faded away but step-dad stayed. My step-dad never went anywhere he’s always been there for my sisters and I.

My step-dad still talks a lot about my mother even though she has been gone twenty years. I love one of  the stories that  he tells me one year my sisters and  I wanted bikes. He told my mom maybe they should get two bikes but my mother told him if all of us can’t get a bike then no one can. When my sisters and I woke up on Christmas day there were four bikes by the tree one for each of us.

I value my step-dad very much and pray that God blesses him with many more birthdays. In today’s society it’s a treasure to find a person who values you and your children without motives. My step-dad is a really great dad and  I am so glad that  I am blessed to have him in my life.

Black Love Day

Everyone already knows where I stand on the subject of black love. In my opinion love has no color, love is a feeling that joins two people together. Love is loving a person even when they are being unlovable and there will be days like that. If a person’s love has limitations then it isn’t love but perhaps the other four letter word which is lust. Many people confuse love and lust. If a person isn’t involved with you for the long haul then don’t entertain them at all. Don’t waste your time because life is too short for that.

Anyway back on topic Black Love Day was founded by Ayo Handy Kendi director of the African American Holiday Association in 1993. I never knew about Black Love Day until today one of my Facebook friends posted about it, she’s very knowledgeable. I’m very thankful for her posts I have learned so much from her.

Everyone has so many goals and that’s great what about a person to spend your life with. God created Eve for Adam He intended for us all to love. Today people don’t stick and stay because they don’t do things God’s way! I truly pray that everyone finds the person who God has for them. God doesn’t want us to be alone that’s why He made marriage and marriage is suppose to be until death.

When it comes to love there will be good days and bad days. The goods days helps a couple to weather the storm of the bad. The bad days gets a couple to draw strength so they can enjoy more good days. Love doesn’t fade. Love is patient and kind. Love is understanding. When a person truly loves a person one does whatever it takes to hold things together. When a couple truly love one another many test will come but they have to do the work to pass them. When a couple is truly in love outsiders will be jealous and will try to bring drama. A couple have to have trust and work as a team to keep negative things out. When two people love one another it’s forever regardless of their skin color. Can  I get a Woot Woot?!

Being A Great Dad

Growing up in a broken home

Taught me that parenting

Should not be done alone

Indeed we have our heavenly Father

He also gives us rules to follow

That we all should honor

A mother is to nurture her children

Instill compassion in her children

Teach them brilliant cooking skills

A mother plants amazing feelings

Into her children so that they take root

A father gives his children advice

Teaches his children how to ride a bike

Teaches his children how to drive

How a man treats a lady

He leads by example

He’s his children protector whether

Or not he and the mother are together

A mother’s and a father’s love for

Their children should always be equal

Too many are trying to minimize

A father’s unique contributions

As if it means nothing at all

These kinds of attitudes are part

Of the black community’s problem

I know men who are good fathers

Who have had the worse life experiences

I’m talking horrendous

Yet they don’t use them as crutches

Are there petty mothers

Who for no good reasons stops

The children’s fathers from having

A relationship with their kids

Yes and those situations I don’t accept

But let’s be honest those kinds of

Situations are rare

How about the fathers who makes

The choice to neglect

Having a relationship with their children

Those kind of fathers

Don’t deserve any respect

Once  a person becomes a parent

A mission must be made to make sure

That their children have

The absolute best

A parent’s love should always be felt

Even when they aren’t present

Children should never ever feel

As if they never received enough love

There’s nothing that hurts worse

Then to feel rejected by

Your very own parent

Why should a child have to learn

How to become immune to hurt

It’s the same old tune

We are living in a society

With people who are self absorbed

Classic narcissistic behavior

Some of these fathers who aren’t good

Align themselves with

A bunch of yes men

Ones who agree with everything

Whether they are right or wrong

Bobble heads who are afraid

To stand up or challenge

Newsflash they are not true friends

Sick of some of these dead beat

Fathers crying about children support

When you didn’t do right on your own

So mothers had to turn

To the government for assistance

It’s your fault that you fathers

Have to pay it

Some of your fathers words

Ain’t worth nothing

Never consistent

No wonder why you have bad credit

Constantly trying to make

A mother feel bad for asking for help

Dude we didn’t make these

Children by ourselves

If you can’t be a good father

Do us all a favor

And get yourself fixed

So over these good for nothing fathers

Who’s always coming up with excuses

Like a student sitting in

The principal’s office

Offering a reason for skipping

How about this don’t just be a father

Be a dad

That’s called being a man

A sign of great parenting

Is not having children

Who becomes estranged from you

The moment they reach 18

All behind past things that happened

In which they are still hurting

Having a blessed relationship

With our children until we are old

Should be every parent’s

Ultimate goal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Beautiful

Recently everywhere I turn

I see men of different races

Including my very own

Making it seem like

Black women are the least desirable

Men like Chris Rock and

Steve Harvey speaking about

The kinds of men who love us

I can’t take it anymore

Our black is beautiful

Every day many of us struggle

With situations that

We should not have to endure alone

We are mothers

Who are also filling in as

The role of father

This situation has gotten old

The worse part is when we

Are made to feel like

We are somehow responsible

For receiving the hurt

That we don’t deserve

It’s so absurd

One of the stupidest things

That  I have ever heard

There’s a 72% percentage

Of absentee fathers

Look at the numbers

These men choose

To not be bothered

It doesn’t take a math whiz

Or a rocket scientist

Last time  I checked

It takes a man and a woman

To make a baby

Is there any other ways

I’ll wait

Lord knows that  I am a Christian

I always turn the other cheek constantly

Most black women are forgiving

About the situations that helps

Many of us to feel incomplete

Dealing with things like certain men

Who are filled with deceit that cheat

Lacking the understanding as to

Why some men would rather mistreat

Good women in a heartbeat

As if it would kill them to

Commit faithfully

In spite of black women circumstances

Defeat is not a part of our vocabulary

We always push ourselves hard

Like a star athlete

There’s a lot more to us

Than what people think

I’m telling  you right now

On us don’t sleep

We are constantly striving and evolving

Every word that  I speak

Is concrete

I can produce receipts

Say what  you want about me

Turn up the heat

I will not surrender or retreat

Can’t continue to listen

To all of the bull

Like how some of the wounds

Of black women

Are self-inflicted

I just don’t understand it

I do know that black women

Are over being taken for granted

As well as being blamed for this

Got me like

Alanis Morrissette

Isn’t it ironic

Don’t you think

Some black men

Speak of wanting black women

To hold them down

When they have nothing

Yet when some of them get on

Their feet

They treat their women and

Very own children

Like pot holes in a street

Then have the nerve

To question why we are angry

Really?

Please

Spare me

After awhile all of this becomes

So annoying

Some of you have no concept

Of loyalty

As long as black women

Are going along with the program

Everything is hunky-dory

However once we wake up

And stand up things are

A different story

Oh and don’t get me

Talking about the subject of dating

Black men was the first to

Put cream in their coffee

This is after slavery

At least that’s what mother

Used to tell me

May her beautiful soul

Rest in peace

If black women

Date outside of their race

Immediately we are accused

Of self-hate

In addition making it seem

As if men of other races

See us as mere fetishes

Like we are nothing

More than sex objects

I’m so sick of the disrespect

When will you guys open your eyes

And realize that

When our community is hurting

No one benefits

And no wins

Because we all suffer in the end

Things comes back in a full spin

I won’t stop talking about this

It’s a promise

Like Mc Hammer

I’m too legit to quit

Refusing to conform

To what seems to be the norm

Because it’s awful

Black women we deserve love

Beyond measure

We are a treasure

Keep in mind that love has no color

This mindset opens up our options more

Always remember this number

One thing and that is our value

Is not found in negative

People’s words

Black women are powerful

Even when we stand alone

We are so strong

Black women we are beautiful

It’s Up To Us

I’m not pointing fingers

But we must admit

That the black community is damaged

No one wants to talk about it

No one wants to face

What is happening

No one wants to get serious

About their life choices

The ones that actually has

Major consequences

That unfortunately once done

We can’t change or fix

People want to program their minds

To see their lives

As a happily ever after

A fairy tale

But no one wants to discuss

How certain choices can bring

Us back to reality have us

Sounding like a nursery rhyme

Old woman in the shoe

Had so many children

That she didn’t know what to do

Messing with the wrong men

Will have your life like a soap opera

All my children

And you are Not Erica

Having multiple babies out of wedlock

Losing value on the dating market

As if the arrow is pointing downward

On Down Jones

Ladies don’t waste unnecessary time

Ask the man who you feel

Maybe your potential mate

What are his goals and dreams

If he wants to get married

He will tell you

Don’t let having multiple children

And him not marrying  you

To be a life lesson

It won’t be only you who will suffer

The children will too

Don’t be a fool

Don’t continue to hold on

Respect his decision

Move on life is short

Even though every single black mother’s

Situations are unique

Even though all single black mothers

Are not irresponsible

It doesn’t matter to

The people of the world

It’s time to wake up

Poverty, despair, and hopelessness

Are parts of nightmares

And should not be identified as

Being apart of African American culture

We have got to do better

We have to not feed into the negative

Stereotypes and generalizations

That some of us choose to embrace

It’s a big mistake

It’s up to us what we choose

What we answer to or who we allow

Ourselves to get attached to

Allowing negativity to turn inward

Single black mothers are not used goods

Not all of us are from the hood

Not all of us are ghetto

Those are words of the devil

We know that he is the biggest liar

Of them all

One of the greatest titles

That a woman can possess

Is being called mother

The greatest words that a parent

Can hear is their children

Tell them that they love you

We want our children to have

A better life than what we had

That requires having a stable home

Which consist of a mom and a dad

A happy homes goes beyond a fad

It never goes out of style

We don’t want to be responsible

For our children walking around

With a hole in their hearts

Remember they are suppose

To experience love first

From ma and pops

It’s time to break the curse

It’s time to stop making excuses

Because they are useless

The Black community

Needs to get it together

The broken home situation

Is very urgent

A Shade of Black

Tameeka is about to go there. Yes I am about to talk about colorism in the black community. I was watching a video on YouTube and it was about a website called Smoochr. The website is a place that allows people to filter the kind of people that they want. A person get to choose based on skin shade, size of lips, hair type etc. Hmmmmmm definitely not something that I will be checking out. As many know I’m about love and never about division. God made us all different but beautiful we are to embrace our differences not use them as a way to divide. Anyway I know some people may debate with me about who started colorism okay hundreds of years ago some of the white people did it fine and dandy. But who keeps the colorism going? The maker of the Smoochr website is a black man. So instead of pulling people together he’s is causing more separation and insecurities of others.

Colorism

I am black but my shade is brown. I’m what would be considered to be in between dark-skinned and light-skinned. Growing up I never paid attention to shade but I have witnessed dark-skinned people being bullied based on their color as if growing up wasn’t hard enough. It is still very much present today. I have also heard people of a dark skin talk about being insecure and hating their skin color. It’s just horrible and it needs to end. The only test that a paper bag should have is how much weight it can hold. At the end of the day we all check off the box for black regardless of our shade. I don’t care who slams me we must do better. Let’s lift up one another high. Stop hurting one another and let’s heal one another. I get the past but what are we doing now to move forward in a positive way. It’s the only way that change will happen.

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It Is On

Okay Okay I absolutely cannot stand it. Some of you black men are going overboard with your hate against black women. What exactly is the deal? I can’t fathom what it could be. Some of you categorize all black women into one claiming that we all aren’t crap. Then you wonder why black women have zero respect for you.

I seen a video that was so disgusting. I would share but it’s not worth it for several reasons. One the language in it was way too foul, it disrespected a woman’s child directly and I don’t want to help it earn money. My whole goal is to shed some light on this situation. It’s not drama it’s raising awareness. The madness most stop I mean you guys do know where you came from right? A black woman birth you into this world.

I plan on discussing this topic every chance that I get. Anyway the guy who made the video to take shots at a beautiful lady on YouTube Christelyn. She promotes swirling which is black women and white men interracial dating. Through I do not know her personally I sent her an email and she responded back promptly. She really does care about people.It’s so disappointing to see some black men bashing her on a daily basis. I wish people would allow this lady to do what she wants it’s not hurting anyone. To be honest I think because she’s successful the men who attack her are jealous. Whatelse could it be? She’s doesn’t wear wigs or weave so they can’t make the claim that she’s trying to be white although I feel that that has nothing to do with how black that a person is.

Look we as black people don’t have to love or like each other still we should respect one another. A black man is someone’s son, father, brother, cousin or grandson. Just like a black woman is someone’s daughter, mother, sister, cousin or granddaughter. We are all valuable to somebody one life touches another. I am not into bashing I believe in meeting people where they are. Still I will not lie the bashing that’s going on between black women and black men at times it bothers me. It’s deeper than black people who choose to date interracially there is some deep seeded hate and I am trying to figure out where it came from.

Are there some black people who could be doing better yes but it doesn’t mean they never will do better either. It’s just way too much finger pointing and too many negative people are spreading their poison around. With not one person taking ownership of what they should be doing.We have to do better it’s a must. I don’t care about how many times I write about it if it will help to push us into the direction of positivity.

Where is it written that if you are black that you must date black only? Just like why and how do people reach the conclusion that people who date outside of their race must hate their own race. Love is an energy people. When souls connect the person’s color is not involved. Love has no color everyone is entitled to love who they want as long as it’s within God will. Love is beyond black love or interracial love. God is in control. What is destined to be will be whether we like it or not.

It’s time to promote love and respect letting go of the hate that is going on between our black brothers and sisters. The generation behind us are watching us we have to get it together.