The other day I convicted myself I wondered what it is about me that I instantly turn into a detective. Why I just can not accept things at face value? I guess with everything that I have been through I simply can not help it. Especially when it comes to opening myself up to love again. I don’t want to risk my heart being broken or looking like a fool.
Not trying to make myself seem so special but I always come across people who try to make it their mission to prove who I am really, I’m liked” Really Bro how would you know me better than I know myself?” One thing about me I am very kind hearted and so that makes me an easy target. People tend to take my kindness for weakness. I know that I am God’s creation therefore I am under His protection. No matter what happens I won’t change who I am because of people.
I will admit that I have trust issues at one point in life I didn’t want to. Admitting to having trust issues sparks characteristics within a person that they never knew existed. Let me explain further I do not believe it’s okay to go through a person’s things, have passwords etc if a person needs to do all of that then perhaps it’s best to end the relationship. My trust issues are with my heart and words whether a man is being genuine or not.
The one only that I have learned noone can convince a person not to hurt you if they want to justify why it’s okay to do so. Just pray that they are exposed for what and who they are to avoid unnecessary heartbreak.
A person who won’t be alone to heal is selfish Yeah I said it. It’s not cool to use a person to help you get over pain that’s not okay. For me I am willing to be alone as long as God sees fit I WOULD NEVER inflict any pain on someone else. God doesn’t like ugly and He does make people pay for their messed up way. No I am not trying to speak negativity on people still one can not treat a person wrong expect not to be punished for their behavior.
My hopes are for us all to find love with the right one and as far as for me playing detective I never will stop doing it. Nothing is going overboard when it comes to heartbreak I rather be alone. I know that God has my Boaz even if it takes a couple more years of waiting I will. Because I know that once my Boaz arrive I will never have to play detective again. All of my Boaz words will match I won’t have an uneasy feeling about him. He will do everything not to break my heart. I won’t make him feel uncomfortable because of doubt. Let’s face it a seed of doubt has the power to grow into the biggest oak tree.
Determined to not allow doubt to rob me of my Boaz or loneliness for that matter. Being lonely is the reason for a lot of bad relationships people aren’t patient enough to wait on God. Word to the wise you can’t be with the right one if you are with the wrong one. Mr. Or Mrs. Right now will ruin who you are truly destined to be with. The right one will not interrupt what you have no one can see if you are unhappy they just know that you are unavailable. I don’t know about anyone else I know that we are worth the wait.