I still can recall the conversation with my mother pertaining to the kind of guys that I was attracted to. It didn’t go over very well with her. Don’t get me wrong my mother wasn’t racist even with the up bring that she had with society. I think that she had imagined me being with someone else. Even though it shouldn’t have came to her as a shock. Growing up I listened to every type of music however rock & roll was and still is my first love. My bedroom wall was plastered with posters of bands like Skid Row, Guns N Roses, Nirvana, Soundgarden and many others to name a few. My first celebrity crush was the lead singer from Tears for Fears Mr. Roland Orzabal. Roland has a demeanor with him that is unmistakable, he’s brilliant.
My first real job was at a convenience store I was two months shy from the age of 21. I worked hard and still lived with my mother she was sick with cancer. Working in the public you get to meet a lot of people but no one was interesting to me. I had never been in a relationship yet. One day while at work I watched as my manager interviewed several people for the midnight position that was opened which I worked. All the people that I saw seemed like interesting people one in particular who caught my eye. It was a tall, hazel eyed, curly haired white gentlemen. After he had the interview he made a purchase and I rung him up sparks flew. As soon as he left I told my manager that I hoped that she would hire him to my surprise she had. Later when we worked together he told me that he liked me too! Now I am not encouraging work place romance all the time just telling my story which I am proud of.
Even though we were both very young we did not allow our attraction to distract us from getting our work done. The first time we worked together I made the mistake of that and my manager did not let me forget we both always remained focused. I told my mother about this gentlemen and she asked me about my other co-worker whom I never had any interest in he was Filipino. Right to this day I never understood why she liked him so much. Still I let her know instantly who I was into so she let it go. Once this guy and I got involved she accepted it. She saw that I was happy and she was fine after that. The relationship lasted for a couple of years however there was various strains that caused it to fall apart some were me and my fear as well as my mother’s death to name a few. I don’t look at the relationship in a negative light it was quite beautiful. Over time I have come to realize that some situations are seasonal. What makes it hard is not wanting to face when things are over. Basically just because you love summer doesn’t mean that winter will never come it will change comes eventually.
What I have noticed about interracial dating mostly black and white, it can get controversial at times even after all these years. For instance there’s a lady that I follow on YouTube her name is Christelyn Karazin. She promotes love between black women and white men, she has a lot of supporters I am one of them. However she gets a lot of attacks as well and it makes absolutely no sense. For instance let’s look at things from a black female’s perspective that is looking to get married. Do you know that there is a shortage of black males due to incarceration and early death? From experience I know this to be true I have two sons by a black male who was locked since 2006 and recently got out a couple of months ago. In life things happen I understand this but what exactly is a black woman suppose to do? I’ll tell you she is to be open to love coming in a form that she may not expect. The open thing that life has taught is to be open to possibilities, go for what you really want and never place a time limit on things that requires a lifetime commitment. The last that anyone deserves is to spend their lives being miserable because of being in a rush as well as not thinking things through. This is how I live now by I trusting God I know that He places a desire in our hearts that He Will fulfill all we have to do it trust. So I am waiting for my Boaz he will be right for me because he will be sent by God almighty.